Hi, was married for 7 years. Had 3 kids in that time. Husband walked out and demanded divorce with no warning when youngest was just 10 weeks old. Wants a new Harley and probably someone half our age on the back of it. (We are both 36.) I do not know where to start. Do not trust men anymore. Doubt my own worth...was discarded like yesterdays trash. Any advice? Thank you.
2006-10-25 16:54:25 · 13 answers · asked by Lyn M 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The best advice I can give you is first get a good attorney.
Then just forget about men. Take care of your kids and take care of yourself. Learn to be happy with yourself and when the time is right the right man will come along.
2006-10-25 17:03:13 · answer #1 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I'm going through the same thing but we're 42yrs and married 15yrs, 2 kids. Its been 8 1/2 months and seems to get harder. I also had was shocked, still am and feel thrown away too. I'm so sad and don't understand because he won't talk and seems to avoid me, which makes things worse...just tell me the truth no matter how bad it is. He comes and goes whenever he wants, no responsibility of the everyday raising of our kids. The kids are fed up of my sorrow (I try hard to hide it from them), don't get why dad just won't come back. Its so unfair, so painful. I never asked for any of this and never wanted to be a single mom let alone the income difference is 6-1 his favor. I feel so bad for your pain and so understand. If you would like to email or IM me that would be no problem. If you have an idea to get through this please let me know, Thank you
2006-10-26 03:11:29 · answer #2 · answered by Octavia 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well the first thing I have to say is how very sorry I am that you are having to go through this. It's hard enough to go through divorce without children but to have 3 and one of them so very young of course it's devastating. That said, you are giving WAY too much control to this man in the area of your self-worth. Who is the person who is home now taking care of 3 small kids? Who is the one being responsible? You are! You are everything to those kids and you know what else? You are everything to God! He is the one and only man guaranteed never to leave you or forsake you. He is the only one you need to RUN to right now to give you strength and peace to get through this most trying time in your life. Sweetie, I've been in your shoes. I've tried to deal with it many ways. The only answer is prayer and a relationship with Jesus Christ. I'm not a preacher or a Bible-thumper but I know my source of strength and peace. He offers the same to you if you'll just reach out to Him. If you don't go to church, find one. Get involved. They will also strengthen you and lift you up in times of despair. You are not trash! Do not allow this man (and I use the term loosely) who so selfishly and hard-heartedly left not only his wife but his 3 small kids define who you are.
You are in my prayers! God bless you and your babies!
2006-10-26 00:46:19 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Start with a good lawyer (all or most of fees can be put over to hubby in most cases). With 3 kids you can sock it to him in child support. Since there are kids involved it will take a minimum of 6 mos. (can be drug on for years). Luckily you are still young. You will meet someone else but don't worry about making that a priority. Spend time on you. The kids will probably consume most of your attention - make sure you stay strong for them and get yourself a good counselor. Taking care of yourself is one of the best things you can do for them. Hopefully you have family and good friends as a support network. Don't be embarrassed to rely on them when you need to.
Stay strong - the best revenge is for you to move on and be happy with yourself. That confidence will also net you a rewarding relationship with someone who will treat you as you deserve to be treated - this will happen when the time is right.
2006-10-26 00:11:34 · answer #4 · answered by greyrider 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am very happily divorced after a 21 yr. marriage. The last few years of my marriage my hubby made me feel worthless. I got to where I just wanted to be single and after the divorce it took me 2 years to even consider dating. I didn't trust men, I was very self conscious about myself and what I expected or how I'd be treated. I took the big leap by going on americansingles.com and it still took a few contacts before I actually went out. What I'm saying is you just need to try it. Trust your instincts.
2006-10-26 00:08:07 · answer #5 · answered by robbie347 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want a good man you have to go to the right places to find one. Only God can help you after what you have been through. Find a good active church. Find the purpose for your life and you will find yourself again and you will be really happy. I went through the same thing wondering about trusting men but it was because my dad always cheated on my mom as I was growing up.
2006-10-26 00:24:28 · answer #6 · answered by greatnewsbearer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It will take time for you to be able to go out and meet other men. But you really need to focus on your childrens well being anyway. Don't get me wrong, you need to take care of yourself too. But try, as hard as it may be, try not to let him bring you down. He is not the last man on earth. And I'm sure in time , you'll rediscover you and recover stronger than ever.
2006-10-26 00:14:03 · answer #7 · answered by ♥2323vsb 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your not yesterdays trash.Your a human being who got a very raw deal and its so unfair.You have to be strong for your kids.I know it sounds easy to say but it's the truth.They will be confused and missing their dad.it will all be left on your shoulders on how to deal with it.Try as hard as you can to keep your pain and their relationship with the dad seperate.Kids and divorce..always the innocent suffer.Im so sorry for your pain..
2006-10-26 00:03:13 · answer #8 · answered by sweetsherryann 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it might hurt like hell now but in time babygirl your heart will heal if he just walked out he might have someone else but that dont matter because you have 3 kids that need you and they should be the most important worrie you have keep your head up and pray
2006-10-26 00:04:00 · answer #9 · answered by PATRICIA P 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IM SORRY FOR WHAT GOING ON RIGHT NOW. BUT AS
THEY SAY THAT LIFE GO ON. IT MAY SEEM LIKE THINGS
JUST DONT FEEL RIGHT, BUT IN TIME YOU WILL SEE
THAT LIFE IS A LOT BETTER NOW THAT HE GONE.
AS FOR HOW IT HAPPEN. IT WAS ROUGH. BUT IT
BETTER TO LEARN NOW THAT HE NOT WORTH YOUR
TIME. BUT FOR YOUR CHILDREN. JUST BE STRONG
FOR THEM AND TAKE IT ONE DAY AT A TIME. IT
WILL GET BETTER TRUST ME. GOOD LUCK. ALSO
DONT EVER DOUBT YOURSELF IT WAS NOT Y OU
THAT MOVE ON IT WAS HIM. SO DONT LET HIM
MAKE YOU FEEL LIKE THIS IS YOUR FAULT. IT NOT
2006-10-26 00:08:40 · answer #10 · answered by luckystar 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋