I cannot speak English?

Question

I am so frustrated myself because I cannot speak English well. Even though I earned a degree and have been living in the U. S for 6 years?! I started from ESL course and ,finally, finished the school this year. It was a big challenge to earned a degree in the U.S. for a 45 years old woman.
All my friends said “you should be proud yourself.” .....ya...right..but HOW??? I don’t have any confidence. .I have lost that. Sure, I have no problem reading and I know that I still have to improve writing skills. BUT spoken English, it’s beyond me.
Whenever I speak, my husband said “ Oh, f***, what hell are you talking about?”
“ I don’t understand you” etc..so I become sick to speak. I know I have to fight and should not allow him to do that. It was my fault, my bad. I practice speaking English every day, but I feel miserable. How can I get back my confidence? Good / strong communication skill needs any business field. I have to improve my communication skill as soon as possible in order to get a job. Please give me any advice..practical, professional advice..PLEASE.

Thank you so much everybody. I truly appreciate all your advice that touched my heart.
I have to be strong, and I should not accept my husband’s yelling me/ shout at my face! I am so frightened when he mad at me (he is a native English speaker). I have to stop him to call me
“B***h, f***” NOT ANYMORE !! I don’t want to give up.

Thank you so much for taking your time. Thank you. You all are wonderful.

Answer 1

I believe that the best way to deal with your problem is to apply the same concept that doctors do to sick patients. Firstly, you have to identify which area are you having problem with. (ie. oral, grammar, written, spelling) When you identify the problems, you'll be more likely successful to find a solution. In identifying the problems with your language, ask help from other people, for instance you husband. There are things that we cannot see in ourselves so help from other people can contribute a lot for your development.

After identifying the problems with you speaking english, the next step is to devise solutions. Find ways in order to solve it. There are many solutions to various language problems available in the internet. You can also consult the help of an expert. Remember, you have to cure your language defects one at a time. If you have identified 3 problems, and you've found multiple solutions to each of them, try solving/curing one before you solve the other one.

As they usually say, practice makes perfect. Get away from using your mother tongue and use english as frequent as possible. By the way, don't forget to tell your husband to evaluate your improvement. And ask for people to continuously monitor your improvement. You can use notes or even record your voice so you can have a comparison of your development/growth.

Kudos.

Answer 2

Keep practicing and don't give up. I am currently learning Spanish and it is a challenge for me too. Your husband should be more supportive of you (and if he knows English, he should help you.) You should be SO proud of yourself to have made it this far. Not many people can say they have earned a degree. Your husband is supposed to be your support system, and he is probably the reason you lack confidence. Don't give up, pursue your dreams, complete your goals!

Answer 3

maybe you should spend as much time as you can with people who speak English, find some new ones who will not know that you've had a degree, and strike up conversations with them, ask questions when you're not too sure on what to say... if you've got determination, practice becomes perfect. You can also go to google.com and search for English chat sites or my space.com, also use other parts of the internet that has English sounding words try this link http://www.m-w.com/dictionary/ (on the top right corner you can browse words by alphabets or type in a word to find it's definition and sound.

good luck to you:

Answer 4

I skimmed that. No way that I am going to read all of it. I think it has to do with a lack of exposure. Asians are a large minority group where I live. And in some areas they are not a minority. I have not run across what you speak of. But then again people were I live know better. The only stereotypes that are present were I live in regards to Asians are the positive ones--- smart, and dedicated to work and family.

Answer 5

It is always hard to hear criticism when you are doing the best you can. Just don't give up. Keep trying. Can you join some sort of social group or possibly a church group where you can spend time with people who would be supportive of your efforts? As you socialize, you will be learning and developing. Don't give up. America is made up of people who have come here to better their place in life.

Answer 6

I think it is great you are wanting to learn English since you are here, the best way is to start at the beginning, try talking to a elementary school or middle school in your area, have them recommend a tutor that is use to starting at a low level ( no offense) so that you can start from the beginning, hope this helps

Answer 7

By reading your posting I can tell you that you speak better English than I do...

Answer 8

Start spending less time with your husband and more time with your friends. Emulate them and be cognizant of what they are saying and what you are saying. Just practicing and using it daily will help.

Answer 9

well you're already 45 years old, it's too late to learn cuz it's harder as you get older my dad says. just stop you're married and you can be a housewife. i don't know why people think it's offensive but i wanna be a housewife.

Answer 10

join Toastmasters (or Toastmistress in your case)

they are a free public speaking organization, worldwide