Me and my girlfriend want to get married someday. She is a devout Catholic, who wants to raise the kids that way. I am nondenominational and feel that my church is more open than a Catholic one. We are trying to find alternative arrangements that let us share both our faiths with our kids.
2006-10-25 15:54:42 · 12 answers · asked by Paul D 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
---Is Catholic--
Perhaps you shouldn't let your feelings lead you. Relationship with God is not something suited to your own tastes, such as liking chocolate or vanilla ice cream. Rather it is the deeply committed relationship between people and God. You as a "non-denom" should know this and should be interested in God and not whether or not your group is more or less open than her group. Am I right?
Now you should know this; as the raising of children becomes a reality, religious differences become much more pronounced, and proportionally to how devout the parties are. If you are a non-denom who has issues with Catholic things and activities, you had better get over them now. Since you said that your girl is devout, let me ask you 1.) how often do you say the Rosary together? 2.) go to daily Mass together? 3.) say various Catholic prayers together? 4.) go to Eucharistic adoration together? I ask this because this is all a part of Catholic life, and the raising of children by "devout" Catholics. This will all be a part of the raising of your children and if you do not do this now before you have children, you will have problems because you will feel like you are being left out of your family.
You should also know this. Children are not mini adults. Generally speaking, they simply cannot mentally process Dad believes X and Mom believes Y. If X and Y are treated as both equal, the child will see that religion is a matter of taste and you will windup with less religious kids or kids of religion Z. You need to have a strong foundation for the education for your children which means either X or Y. The importance of a Christ centered upbringing is important for your children to enter into a relationship with God and that needs to be grounded on the rock of truth, not simply X and Y are both good and fine even though X contradicts Y.
Finally you should know this. The most painful aspect of your marriage will be that you will not be able to receive the Eucharist. You will go to Mass and your wife and then later your children will participate in the mysteries and the eternal sacrifice, and partake in the Blessed Sacrament of the Altar and you will just sit there in prayer. Then one day you will hear a small voice saying "Why doesn't daddy receive the Eucharist?". And the only answer you will be able to give is because you do not believe. That will rend your heart, your wife's, and your child's.
No you probably will not hear this from other people. Your wife's priest might say this to you but I do not know how blunt he will be.
As you can see the only advice that I can give you, because it is how things actually work out, is that
1.) You need to be comfortable with the Catholic life now
2.) You need to be comfortable having your Y not be as important in the life of your family as your wife's X
OR
3.) You need to over time enter the Catholic faith so that your family may be completely one in Christ.
SOME BOOKS
Because you are a non-denom
Anything by Hahn, Kreeft, Keating.
Spirit and Forms of Protestantism by Bouyer
The Scripture
Navarre Series (as a non-denom it will knock your socks off at its intensity)
2006-10-26 07:49:03 · answer #1 · answered by Liet Kynes 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The Catholic Church believes that God does not recognize civil divorces. "Therefore what God has joined together, no human being must separate." (Mark 10:9) Therefore at this time you cannot remarry in the Catholic Church. However there may be hope of a declaration of nullity. The term "annulment" is a misnomer because the Church does not undo or erase a marriage bond. Rather the Church issues a declaration of nullity when it discovers that the parties were not truly joined by God and hence a full spiritual sacramental marriage as understood by the Church was not present. Then the parties are free to marry for the first time. Approach the appropriate person your in your parish who has been trained in the process. If you encounter difficulties, you may go directly to the diocese. Be prayerful, honest and patient. It takes a while. I cannot speak for non-denominational churches. With love in Christ.
2016-05-22 14:30:27 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I grew up catholic but have become nondenominational since I started losing complete faith. There are a lot of overbearing beliefs in the catholic faith, and they can be very overwhelming. Have a talk with your woman and possibly share both of your beliefs and come to a common understanding about what you may not want shared with the children. Let her know that you want them to be a more open-minded individual than what possibly the catholic faith can do for them. Make sure you come to an agreement, and allow them to go to church with her if she wants, but make sure they keep an open-mind towards other people although they may not be catholic. Allow the church-going, but also ask her to use discretion in what you believe so you can happy balance. Good luck, I know religion is a tough call.
2006-10-25 16:01:32 · answer #3 · answered by overwhelmed85 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I have friends that used to be catholic. They are in a biblechurch now with me. The one thing that I remember most about their experiences is that they compliment each other. They liked to say and do the rituals of the catholic church, but on the other hand lacked experience with reading the bible. Now that they have knowledge in the actual word of the bible they said they now have tremendous respect for the rituals they used to do. It gave them more meaning and respect, instead of being monotonous and fake.
2006-10-25 16:02:13 · answer #4 · answered by HonestGuy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could both seek a religion or no religion together. My father was an orthodox roman catholic, who married my mother of methodist religion, and yet they got married in her church, and they raised us ( my sister and i) in the catholic church. it all has to depend on what you both agree on.
2006-10-25 15:58:33 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Go to both churches. I am Catholic & my wife is Christian. That's what I do to keep the peace.
2006-10-25 16:00:31 · answer #6 · answered by george g 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
How do you marry her? You put a ring on her finger. Life and oppurtunities are far too short and far too limited. If you truly love this woman ond she truly loves you there's nothing that should come between you. Religion is CERTAINLY NO EXCEPTION!
2006-10-25 16:13:14 · answer #7 · answered by Albatross 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Radical Honesty, by Brad Blanton, PhD.
2006-10-25 15:56:26 · answer #8 · answered by shlomogon 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
WELL I WOULD LIKE TO HAVE ALL THE ANSWERS FOR YOU BUT I WILL TELL YOU ONE NON-DENOM TO ANOTHER...DO NOT BE UNEQUALLY YOKED! YOU GET THE MESSAGE.
2006-10-25 15:57:46 · answer #9 · answered by ***BUTTERFLY*** 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
start ccd classes
2006-10-25 15:57:55 · answer #10 · answered by avanging bride 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋