My family lives about 400 miles away from my wife's sister's family. Financially, they are doing very well. We started getting together around Christmas and meeting half way between our homes. They have older children and have taken a liking to a hotel that costs $170 - $250 a room and has a big indoor water park. We have small children and want to be able to keep an eye on them in a less chaotic swimming environment. There are some very nice hotels with indoor pools and water slides that cost more around the $85-$110 range that work very well for our family. This has become a point of conflict for us. My sister-in-law thinks that we both have good jobs and should be able to afford the more expensive hotel. We've told her it's too expensive for us and doesn't meet our needs. They don't want to get together this year and cited our inflexibility as the reason. They also don't want us to stay in two different hotels and get together for dinners and such. Am I wrong?
2006-10-25 14:43:04 · 8 answers · asked by BAM 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Let me add some details. My wife and I do have good jobs and could swing paying for the more expensive hotel. Call me frugal, but I have a hard time justifying paying more for something when I could find something much cheaper that meets our requirements. My sister-in-law also thinks that I don't like them. That's not the case. I'm just standing my ground and trying to avoid a 'keeping up with the joneses situation.' The difference in money could go to reduce our mortgage, go in our kids college fund, etc..
2006-10-25 14:43:12 · update #1
You are in the right here. If you discussed your rationale and tried to reason with her, and she still is having issues with you and refuses to go this year, she is being dramatic for the purpose of being dramatic. It really becomes not worth the hassle of dealing with this family member.
2006-10-25 14:48:44 · answer #1 · answered by kamischi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wrong? no, BUT..what does your wife think? The whole time you were writing and explaining..you didn't mention what your wife would like to do. Maybe she like the the expensive hotel, maybe she wants to get together with her family, and the cost isn't that big of a factor to her. I totally agree with you, but if I were in your shoes, I think I would open the wallet and go with the expensive hotel if my wife wanted to go. Yes, I agree with you the sister-in-law maybe pushing this to far, the other motel would be just as good if not better. I have stayed at flea bags and I have stayed at the 250 a night..I find middle priced better all the way around. I don't wasting money just because...I would rather put it to a good use. It's your call, your sister in law is making you the bad guy. Are you going to call her bluff? Or are you going to fork out the extra dough so the family can be together for the holiday. Please ask your wife...
God bless us all............
2006-10-25 14:59:07 · answer #2 · answered by totallylost 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well hotel choosing shouldnt matter between families you should be somewhere where your comfortable and your very much thinking of your kids so do it for them an expensive hotel isnt going to change your plans, with your family at least it shouldnt, money isnt everything i can make you happy ya but not as long as being with people you love, and no your not wrong for standing your ground do what you think is right for your family there is nothing wrong with staying in two different hotels, im sure you will have a great time, anyway i mean its not like your in a different country or anything like that, just a little ways away in the same city dont see why thats a big problem but like i said do what you think is right for you and what makes you happy as well as your family
2006-10-25 14:48:43 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Family is very important. Please don't allow $100 per night to ruin your get together (money you said you can afford). You did not mention what your wife thought about this. Her opinion is very important in this situation as well.
Before you mentioned that your sister-in-law thinks that you don't like them, I felt some of that tension in your letter. I too believe that their is some truth to their statement.
Last, You have mentioned all the reasons why you should not get together but did not mention the importance of the get together for you and your family: love, peace, joy, friendship, togetherness, etc. Plus, your children will not be left alone nor will they get lost in such an environment, remember that their will be four adults present.
Let them pick this time and say, or allow your wife to say, next visit we will pick the hotel.
Let go of the "Stand my Ground". With that statement, all you have are words, anger, disappointment and no swimming fun for your little ones. As parents, we look over this type of stuff so that our children can have lasting memories whether it be from memory and/or pictures.
God loves you and wants us to "learn" to continue loving one another.
P.S. Don't forget to take your camera !
2006-10-25 15:04:51 · answer #4 · answered by Sunflower 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are looking for conflict and you've found it...it's once a freaking year...bet it would be a different story if it was your sister...you have been very successful in finding reasons not to go to the nicer hotels; try to find a few the other way.
2006-10-25 14:48:41 · answer #5 · answered by eddy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't even get together with this kind of interference...my money...i spend it where i say....she wants to pay our hotel bill..no prob...anyway..where's the love..wheres the fun..yuck...start your own family traditions..with just your kids....
2006-10-25 14:55:14 · answer #6 · answered by willowz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the heck with what she thinks..she isn't paying the bill so she doesn't get a vote...
2006-10-25 14:49:59 · answer #7 · answered by OliveRuth 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hell no u aint in the wrong.. stand ya ground
2006-10-25 14:44:30 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋