How can I overcome the fear of speaking in front of people?

Question

I am extremely afraid of getting in front of people. I love to write, but when I am asked to read any of my work aloud or present something, i get really scared. I don't know how to deal with it and It's becoming a problem.

Answer 1

A great fear that many people have is speaking before a group or audience. The primary reason is that they are afraid of looking foolish in front of other people. The way to overcome this fear is through preparation, a safety net, and a positive attitude toward the audience.

Questions you may have include:

Why are people so afraid of public speaking?
What are ways to overcome this fear?
How can I apply these methods?
This lesson will answer those questions. There is a mini-quiz near the end of the lesson.

Reason for fear
The fear of speaking is rated as only second to the fear of snakes and before the fear of dying.

Effects of fear
What happens to many people is that--even before they start speaking--their heart starts beating faster and their mouth gets dry. Some may even get nauseous or feel like fainting.

Once the person starts talking, the heart keeps beating rapidly and the person may hear his or her voice tremble. The legs or even the whole body may start shaking. The person may also stutter or start speaking rapidly.

Although some people calm down, once they get going, others may ramble through the material incoherently.

Do you wonder why many people don't want to go through that ordeal again?

My experience
When I was in high school, I was terrified of speaking in front of the class. I would tremble and my mouth would fill with saliva. The only way I could effectively give a presentation to the class was to sit in a chair. My English teacher frowned on this and thought I was just trying to be different or difficult.

Looking foolish
The reason most people get anxious when required to speak to a group is that they are afraid of looking foolish or stupid in front of many of their peers and important people. They are afraid that their mind will go blank or that their lack of speaking skills will lower the opinion others have of them.

Being humiliated can destroy a person's ego and confidence. In fact, it can really ruin your day.

Steps to overcome that fear
There are several steps of tricks to use to overcome the fear of making a mistake or looking foolish when you speak to a group:

Be well-prepared before speaking to a group
Practice your speech
Have a backup, in case you forget what you want to say
Reduce the fear of your audience
Relax yourself just before you speak
In the following material, I will explain each of those points.

1. Be well prepared
One of the best ways to make sure you don't make foolish mistakes is to be well prepared before you speak to a group. You should know what are going to talk about, who you will speak to, and under what conditions you will speak.

Leave nothing to chance
A professional in any field does not leave anything to chance before a big game, important performance, or critical presentation to corporate executives. Strategies are laid out, all material is ready, contingency plans are made, and every detail is taken care of.

When you are well prepared, chances of failure or goof-ups are greatly reduced. You feel more relaxed and sure of yourself, because you have all the bases covered.

Your material
You need to know exactly what you are going to talk about. This doesn't mean to memorize exactly what you plan to say. Rather, it is to have a good outline of facts and information that you can talk about.

Know audience
It is good to be aware of what type of audience you will be speaking before. This will give you an idea of the subject matter and tone of your speech. If you are speaking before some important people or at an important event, that fact may increase your anxiety. But it is good to know up front, so that you can properly prepare for the occasion.

Conditions
It is good to check over the conditions under which you will speak. If you can, go up to the lectern to check things over and get a feel for things. If you will use a microphone, check it out.

In some situations, a person may simply make a presentation in a meeting room at work. Even then, it is a good idea to check out the room beforehand and try to visualize how you will be doing things.

Note that going through this process will actually relax you and give you more confidence when it is your turn to speak.

2. Practice
You should practice your speech many times before you give it.

Even if you know your material very well, practice is extremely important. The more you give a talk, the more automatic it becomes, the more meat it can have, and the more confidence you have in your abilities to give the speech.

Practice alone
Ways to practice alone are to first simply say the speech out loud. This is good to get the material more ingrained in your memory.

Use a mirror
Then say the speech, looking into a mirror. This is good to do, because you must concentrate more. You also get an idea of how you look when speaking. Finally, if you must refer to notes, it allows you to practice eye contact with the audience.

Stand in the corner
An interesting trick is to say your speech while standing in the corner. The sound reflects back to you, and you can get a good idea how you sound when you speak.

Record your practice
Another way to practice is using a tape recorder. This forces you to avoid pausing to try to remember things. It also allows you to play the speech back to study how you sound, your phrasing, and the content of the material.

Use a friendly audience
Practice before friends. This is a very important way to practice, because it is getting closer to the "real world" of speaking to a group. Even an audience of one person is good for this type of practice.

3. Have a backup
It is worthwhile to bring along a "security blanket" or "safety net" in case something goes wrong in your presentation. The main thing to worry about is forgetting what you were going to say next. This can happen even if you've done extensive practicing of the speech.

Outline
It is good to have your speech outlined on a few sheets of paper or on 3 X 5 cards. You can then refer to them in case you have a mental lapse. Referring to your notes is certainly acceptable to an audience, as long as you are not reading a speech word-for-word from a script.

Reduces anxiety
One thing that having a safety net provides is that it reduces you anxiety about forgetting what you were going to say or having your mind go blank. You may never even use the cards, but the fact that you have them--just in case--can greatly reduce the butterflies.

4. Reduce fear of your audience
The more important the audience or the occasion, the greater your fear can be. You don't want to look like a fool in front of the bosses at work, your peers, or even your friends and relatives.

Not that important
One method to overcome this fear is to visualize the people as not all that important. An old trick is to imagine that the audience is naked. Or perhaps imagine them all in clown outfits. A ridiculous image will make them seem not all that important.

Use positive approach
The problem with that method is that it seems somewhat negative. If you look down at your audience, it may be reflected in your speech. I prefer a more positive approach.

You have to realize that the audience is usually on your side. They want to hear what you have to say and to see you do well. Before you give your speech, think of them as caring, friendly people who want to hear you speak. It is just like talking to your friends.

The positive image should relax you and put you in a good frame of mind. The audience will also read your body language and respond accordingly.

5. Relax before speaking
When you are introduced to speak, take three breaths to settle you down before you get out of your chair. Then when you go up to the lectern, thank the person who introduced you and then count to 10 before you start speaking.

This will allow the audience to get settled and ready to hear you. It also is a way that you are showing that you are now in control.

It is not easy to do, because you have to look at the audience and panic may settle in. But if you have made all the preparations, you can be sure of yourself and deserve to be in control of the situation. It is a good feeling.

Applying your skills
If you have to speak before groups at school, work or in some organizations, it is good to practice speaking more often to hone your skills and to reduce any fears you may have.

Answer 2

Most fears are not really a fear of the thing that we think we fear, but rather they are a fear of the unknown. We fear spiders because they are creepy looking and we don't know which ones will bite and hurt us and which ones won't. We fear flying because we don't know what keeps those planes in the sky, and who does the maintenance, and if they did a good job, and how much experience does the pilot have, etc. We fear flying because we know that if the plane crashes we could get killed. We fear getting killed because we don't know what happens next. Are we going to Heaven, or are we going to hell because there's that "one sin" on our record? Are we going nowhere, because that's the end? We fear public speaking also because we are afraid of the unknown. Most of us can speak just fine to our family or friends or coworkers, because in that setting we are all pretty close to being equals. In front of the class or the business meeting however, all eyes are on us. We are no longer equals. We feel as if we are being held to a higher standard, and because we don't have experience at this we are afraid we might embarrass ourselves, or people will laugh at us or ridicule us. Am I standing right, is my fly zipped, does everyone see my knees knocking, do I have all my cue cards in proper sequence, what if I get a sudden urge to use the bathroom, what if I lose my place and repeat myself??? We can read about how other people have overcome their fears and be enlightened and encouraged by their experiences and advice. But the only way to truly overcome our fears is to confront them head on. Just do it. The more you do it the more your fears melt away as you realize they were irrational fears and you can do this without all those bad things happening. After a while you start to feel really good about yourself, because you know that you are doing something that most people can't do. I know. I've been there. It's an awesome feeling, so empowering, to be able to look back on that fear and to realize that you overcame it. Now I can do anything!

Answer 3

As a former scaredy cat, I will do my best to give you my opinions. The truth be told you probably will never get over it. But, there are several ways to get around it. Get involved with groups or organizations that you are interested and passionate about. Self confidence is the best cure for the inability to speak in public. The fear won't go away. But, if you are knowledgeable about what you are speaking of, that knowleadge will overcome your fears. Good Luck.

Answer 4

Alright, you may not like the truth...Im a business major (junior) at college and I have presentations all the F'ing time. I dread each and every one of them. I've taken three 1 credit business classes that help you set up presentations, go about them, etc. The only thing that works for someone like me(and you too) would be simply the amount of times you present. Every time it gets slightly easier and less strenuous and trust me I feel ya, to this day i get pre-presentation butterflies, sweats, memory lapses. But the more you do it, naturally it really gets easier with time. One thing I like to think of to calm me down is reminding myself that no one really cares what you're saying most the time anyway, everyone is in a daze, not paying attention(even if they are looking up at you, they see your lips running but no1 really pays attention or Fcuking cares). Good luck. Also, if you have it prepared before the actual presentation, just read what you have over and over and over. Once your up there, you'll be very familiar with it and make u feel a little more confident.

Answer 5

i have the same problem and im going into speech next semester, but you like to write. Just be confident in yourself and writing and maybe to help you could try practicing what your going to say in front of friends or family. I did that before a speech i had to make and made me feel a lot more confident.
I hope this helps and you can overcome your fear.

Answer 6

try to focus on your reading and in some cases, pretend that they're not there!! Some people find something in the room to focus on so that it will be easier to speak!! Scan the room without actually focusing on any particular person!! Practice speaking in the mirror or in front of family or friends!! You can even use pillows or bears and pretend that they're people, but that's something that you will gradually grow into doing!! Take a speech class and speak with confidence!

Answer 7

^^Think to your self How good you must look to your listeners. I just gave one last Saturday. I usually tell a joke, or say something that will make them laugh. Then I'm alright once the ice is broken.Be proud Of your work. Present it with Piazzas ^_^
You can do it.In the mean time you might consider taking a public speaking class. They can help. ( *_*)

Answer 8

The truth be told, the more that you do it whether practicing in front of friends and or a mirror, they help but the more practice you are exposed to the better, you may always feel butterflys in your stomach ( or other symptons) but it makes for a better reading. And remember they came to listen to you and your work...

Answer 9

Believe in yourself and see that it is your turn to shine. Be afraid of nothing. You will end up enjoying the experience. Throw your fears out, you'll see. It is just a mental thing that needs to be adjusted back to what is true.

Answer 10

I am a singer/songwriter. I used to have this problem. It was paralizing, but a really good vocal coach said one thing that changed it for ever. There will always be people who like it and those who don't. Everybody is entitled to their opinion. You best defense is: Simply don't care. Be convinced of your own conviction, otherwize you can't convince them. You don't have to imagine they are in their underware or anything like that, just simply don't care about their opinion, and enjoy your creativity and express yourself. I quit caring if they liked me or not, and you know what? Most of them do, and if they don't? I don't care. Now I love performing. Good Luck.

Answer 11

I'm just like you! Ipractice on speaking infront of people by yawning and telling myself that these people are not more important than I am. It doesn't matter if they have more money or nicer things for we are all people! Each and everyone of us is human.