I recently reconnected with an ex-bf from 15 years ago and we were both happy about it since we once were in love/talked marriage. A few talks later I was shocked to realize I never got over him - we now are both married w/kids. I told him how I felt-I was willing to try an affair (I know its horrible, please try not to judge) and he was not. We saw each other, discussed for closure purposes, and while I told him I don't think I can see him in person for a while we both agreed to stay in touch via email/phone. He specifically asked me to call /write. I emailed him on Monday basic/friendly/innocent. Two days later I have not heard back. I assume he is trying to cool things off/ busy with work but I can always find time to email someone back in a few days. What is going through his mind? Please no judgements, I can't feel worse about myself than I already do, but the connection we have is rare. I won't break up families but I love him and I don't want to not be friends of a sort.
2006-10-25 14:30:14 · 6 answers · asked by I'm Trying 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You offered temptation and he stuck to his vows which is difficult for some people. He might still have feelings for you but be unwilling to cheat on his wife, therefore he feels the need to step away from temptation. That is a difficult thing to do. Give him time. He may or may not want to be friends with you since you revealed your true feelings. Respect his wishes along with your husband and his wife.
2006-10-25 14:41:11 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't have it both ways. Either you commit yourself totally to your husband and kids or you don't. Keeping even an email relationship alive is a form of cheating, especially feeling the way you do. You better stop it before your husband finds out and quits trusting you. Alternatively, divorce your husband and pursue other relationships. It does sound, however, that your ex isn't that interested in you.
2006-10-25 14:40:12 · answer #2 · answered by phoenixheat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow you are preaching to the choir...i am using my friend sn sorry...but neway i was in the exact same positon as you are and it hurts so bad...no judgements from me def. ...but honestly he may be thinking he wants to steer clear because of the way you are feeling...my advice to you is to cut it off only because it causes so much more pain when it dosent work out and honestly it prob. wont i hate to say that but you are both at diff points in your life and do you really wasnt to get your heart involved and then re-broke if all those feelings came back so fast its like a train wreck waiting to happen...besides what are the reasons you guys ended it b4...think about your family too...the saying the grass isnt always greener on the other side is sooo true....i feel your pain i honestly do but it hurts so much worse the 2nd time around plus there are other people involved now!!!
2006-10-25 14:50:24 · answer #3 · answered by Snow 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your both married and have kids....take a step into reality instead of the fantasy you are carrying in your mind. Let the past go and look at your responsibilities to your husband, your kids, and your extended family.
2006-10-25 14:34:20 · answer #4 · answered by OleMarbleEyes 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
avoiding issues and problems is never the answer therefore empathy alone never works... judgmente over everything doesn't work either but the only way to find a mid-point is to try it yourself. no one can tell you to be 'this amount of judgemental' you've got to figure it our by yourself
2006-10-25 14:39:53 · answer #5 · answered by chofip 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he is committed to his wife.. If you love him honor that..
2006-10-25 14:33:48 · answer #6 · answered by kitkatish1962 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋