My daughter is 5 and I told my husband a month ago that I wanted a divorce. I am divorcing him for many reasons, but mainly because he has anger issues and is capable of being vicious and nasty to me. He blames me for his behaviour and until he crashed our car because he totally lost control of his temper and was driving like a maniac, I believed him. I have given him so much love and forgiveness and wanted so much to have a happy marriage and then an amicable breakup when I realised he was never going to change. He is incredibly hard to live with and seems to be swinging between saying he loves me and doesn't want to lose me, then in the next breath insulting my family or making derogatory comments about my past or my personality.I am so exhausted living in the same house with him. He won't move out until the house is sold, and there is still lots of work to do before it can be sold. I don't know when is the best time to tell my daughter and I don't know how to cope with this help!
2006-10-25 13:22:35 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
First, I am concerned for safety for you if there are temper issues. It may be that you will need to move out in order to provide a better environment for you and your daughter. Selling the house and making the improvements to max the most for it is important but not at the expense of you nor your daughter. Your daughter probably already knows. You can't live in an environment like you describe and keep that a secret. With love and understanding, you can accomplish a lot. I am a divorced mother with 4 children. My daughter was 4. I didn't go into deep answers just told her that mommy and daddy can't live together but we both love her etc. There will be some trauma there but probably already is - my daughter is now 16 ; I didn't talk bad about their Dad, bit my lip when I had to ; allowed him to see them when he wanted and always had to do damage control when they came home b/c he would bad mouth me. With patience and love, it all works out for your children. You don't say if you have been to a lawyer? Let your family help you? Good luck and address your emotional and physical safety, money comes and goes; it all works out monetarily. Don't let money be the factor to prolong you getting peace. You will need some love and understanding, reach out to family, friends, support group to help you as well.
2006-10-25 13:37:29 · answer #1 · answered by sml 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, your daughter is entitled to love both parents. All you have to explain her is that you and your husband do love her both, but that adults sometimes do not get along and therefore decide that it was better to seperate. Assure her that you love her and that daddy loves her, regardless on how you feel.
As far as the description of your husband goes, it almost sounds like he has a bipolar condition and if you can, talk to him to see if he can get some medical help. Anger is depression, and constant depression can lead to stress and trigger a hormone imbalance in the brain--resulting in clinical depression, bi-polar condition, etc.etc.
It sounds to me like you could benefit from some support too. Check with your local health department. A lot of them offer support groups for various conditions and/or referral services for those who have no health insurance. Another option would be a parenting support group. You can get information on those and other supporting groups from your local United Way. I had been attending a parent support group after my husband died, and that group has worked wonders for me. I made new friends, met parents in worse situations than I was, and definitely learned how to deal with my young son who had to grow up without a dad. Give it a try...and good luck
2006-10-25 13:35:36 · answer #2 · answered by MARIANNE G 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know where you live but there are parenting classes for divorcing parents on how you should handle children. In Tennessee it is a law that if you divorce and have children you have to go to the parenting classes. If you find one, ask the judge to make him go also (at separate times of course).
2006-10-25 13:27:16 · answer #3 · answered by sugarbud 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your daughter did not ask to be delivered into this international, it is your interest to guard her from issues she won't be able to preserve herself from, which includes your husband. newborn pornography is amazingly severe, that's not somehtin that someone is basically cured from in one day, he's sexually sttracted to babies, some thing is faulty with him. the ultimate aspect you may want to do on your daughter is tutor her what a competent female you're and get faraway from him. you need to no longer ought to stay a existence tense that he will abuse her, and he or she advantages a early existence of innocence. Empower your self and leave him for her sake. do not look back!! strong success!
2016-10-16 06:28:21 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds as if he is Bi-polar. When going through a divorce the best thing is to be nice to each other in front of the kids. At 5 she isnt going to understand what divorce is. You will need to reassure her about your love for her. actuallly both of you will.
2006-10-25 13:31:44 · answer #5 · answered by fortyninertu 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋