I am so angry! I stay at home all day caring for our 20-month old son AND I teach online. (Right now I'm teaching SEVEN classes.) Needless to say, I'm very, very busy during the day and well into the night. I had dinner ready for him when he came home from work today, but he had the nerve to be upset because the kitchen floor was dirty (our son always makes a mess when he eats and I hadn't had a chance to clean up his lunch mess). Maybe I am very hurt that he doesn't seem to realize how hard I work. (And the irony of all of this is that it's his debt that is responsible for our financial hardships, which is why I have to teach so much right now.)
2006-10-25 13:16:51 · 53 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I would be angry and hurt too. Why is he making such a big deal about that? If it really bothered him why didn't he just clean it up himself.?
2006-10-25 13:26:56 · answer #1 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would say sit down and talk to him. I know you probably already have done this. But ya know it is not just the womans job to do the house cleaning he too can come home from work and participate in the daily cleaning. I do not care if he is out of the house all day and you are home he still has to do his part. And you are doing your part which very well might be harder than his, being you have to not only work from home but you too have to watch the baby. Stand tall. Let him know what you are feeling. So yes the answer is yes you should be angry. But use calm words to get your point across. If that doesn't work leave the house a mess for a week or maybe a month. egh your working too.
2006-10-25 13:34:37 · answer #2 · answered by dmp1986 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him and ask him to swap one day of the weekend---giving him all your duties for one day--I assume that you do not teach on the weekend. Let him prepare the food, take care of the baby, fix breakfast,lunch, dinner, have him clean the house, clean after the baby---and you go have a day out with your friends, in the movie, shopping, whatever you like. First of all, this will show your husband how much you really do in this house--aside from your teaching. Secondly, it will give him time alone with your son---something that's very important too. Usually, when men see how much is really involved in caring for a child and running a houshold they'll back off and appreciate it a little better next time around...good luck
2006-10-25 13:25:03 · answer #3 · answered by MARIANNE G 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Here are some suggestions:
1. Ask him if his arms are broken. If not, then he can clean the floor himself.
2. Tell him that if he wants you to do more around the house, you'll have to cut back on your teaching...so he'll have to get a part time job in the evenings and weekends to make up the difference.
3. Tell him you'll get to the floor when you get a chance, and if he doesn't like it, he can kiss your butt.
Don't put up with any crap from him...he lives there too and is equally responsible for the upkeep of the house.
2006-10-25 13:41:18 · answer #4 · answered by Sally G 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, he should get his head out of his behind and realize that you are doing two full-time jobs!! Being a mother is something that most men do not realize that is a FULL TIME JOB!! I have three sons, 10, 9, and 1 year and I work so.. I understand what you are going through. My hubby used to complain and be crabby about the house until his dad actually took my side. Yes, you should be upset with him. I think you are doing a wonderful thing staying home with your son and working.
2006-10-25 13:22:24 · answer #5 · answered by fuzzmonkey 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi, first I suggest to remember that you love him. He is your husband and you have made a child together and that alone is beautiful love. It is important that you both remember the big picture of love and not focus on the little things that can stirr and create arguments. It is very important for women and men to fufill their roles in a marriage. Yes it is your job to care for the children and the home, and it is his to provide. But in this age sometimes women have to provide as well. I would put the child to bed, light a calming candle and climb into bed, take your hubby's hand and talk through things slowly and calmly. Remind him that you love him, talk to him about how hard you work and tell him how much you appreciate him working hard. Marriage is about being selfless. He may have made some mistakes in the past that have caused you now as a family to have debt, but it is important that you forgive him. Holding anger in your heart over things done in the past can be very dangerous. It will build and boil over.So be careful. I hope this helps. Bye now
2006-10-25 13:30:03 · answer #6 · answered by moe 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Anger may not be the answer (although I can see why its your first choice). Men love challenges. Challenge him to keep a log of his daily activities and you keep a diary of yours. As much detail as possible; make it for one 5 day stretch, M-F.
Compare after a week. It may show that one or the other puts out more effort, but the real point is that it will enlighten you both as to what efforts are being made by the other, right?
2006-10-25 13:26:13 · answer #7 · answered by thrag 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
lol, not funny I know. I was thinking about what I would have done if he was my husband !!! and it aint a purty picture... you need to sit Mr. Perfect down, explain to him about the whys and does and donts about coming home complaining about a dirty floor... if HE want the floor to be that clean, then hand him a broom and a mop and tell him to get to work... or you could take the softer approach, explaining to him why you are working so hard, that he should stop feeling quilty and angry and step in and help you both get thru this mess... NO blame or accusations just advise him of the help you need to make it all work and come together to get thru all this... God bless
2006-10-25 13:21:59 · answer #8 · answered by Annie 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It doesnt matter how hard you work, if you do it at home, men do not consider it WORK. (OKAY NOT ALL MEN, but most)...If this not an every day occurence and he is usually a really good guy, then maybe he just had a bad day and (undeservedly) took it out on you. You probably have done the same....BUT your financial
stuff makes me a little nervous , I dont know the specifics so I won't comment, is it important to this one incident?
2006-10-25 20:03:24 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Be angry for a minute then get over it. My husband is the same way. I watch after our 18mos and 4 year old; plus work from home. I left the living room light on b/c I went upstairs to give the baby a bath, holding him b/c he just pooped. I was heated. I'm like, is this how you walk in and say hello???? Men are just inconsiderate!!
2006-10-25 14:51:41 · answer #10 · answered by sassy lady 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should be very upset. you are taking care of your son who I know is a lot of work (mother of 19 month old) and working as well (I work part-time as a nurse). There is only so much we women can do. My husband and I have had our moments, but if he ever complained about something not getting done he would get it. I can't really solve your problem....you can only try to explain the obvious...that you are working really hard and don't appreciate him saying things like this to you. I believe you are doing a wonderful job and you should be appreciated. Take good care of yourself and your little one.
2006-10-25 13:24:02 · answer #11 · answered by nechannew 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋