He cheated on me for 2 months with one of my ex-friends, i want to leave him but i cant cuz im really in love with him...what can i do to help myself?
2006-10-25 12:56:44 · 23 answers · asked by tasha o 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
remember this::::::::::::; once a cheater always a cheater,, go out and find u someone better,, yeah it hurts for a while but better to hurt now instead of 10 yrs from now and 3 kids later.
2006-10-25 12:59:46 · answer #1 · answered by blwatson41 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask yourself this question. Is it because you love him or you fear being alone?
If he cheated then you've already lost him and if you took him back you have lost some of your self respect. If he cheated once he will most likely do it again only now he'll be more careful about it.
Realize that leaving him is best for you. It may hurt a bit now but you will be better off over the long term if you stay with him your run a risk of him hurting you again only next time the pain will be greater than the pain of leaving him.
You should also take comfort that although you will be without his prescence you will also be without the constant reminder that he hurt you and the nagging doubt of his sincerity to not do it again.
You may have some fear of being alone but you should also have hope that the next person you meet could be the experience you've been wanting.
I've been cheated on and left the girl only to find a better person each time and that person was me because by doing what is best for me i rose past that person who hurt me and gained the satisfaction that i could be free of them.
Don't be reckless with other peoples hearts and don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.
2006-10-25 13:10:28 · answer #2 · answered by sprydle 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Think you need to wake up and smell the coffee, honey. You aren't using your head. This kind of guy doesn't make for a very happy marriage, a very good dad should you have children, and sure enough not any type of supportative husband at all. You don't love him sweetie, you have lust for him, and they aint the same --- Apparently, you are happy getting walked on --- you have no self esteem, and want to be a door mat. There are tons of women who marry guys like this...someone has to take them out of circulation ... and the questions in this site reflect that too.
As a quick course in "What makes relationships work?" Admiration, Respect, Passion, and Trust. When the trust goes, the rest of it will too. If you get pregnant with this dude, he will regard it as entrapment, and may stick around for no more than 4 years..... (If you are a committed couple and he is cheating already, god, hon, what ARE you thinking). By evolutionary standards, thats about enough time for a kid to pretty much take care of himself in a primitive society -- where we all came from... This site is also just flooded with questions like "My husband has been cheating on me for years.... we have kids, and I have no way to support myself. What should I do?" Before this happens to you, do as my mom always said Have a Plan B. Which means that you have academic or training skill with which to support yourself. And what do you do about him? Get some counseling, unless you like the pain, sweetie..... Two or three sessions ought to help you figure out why you like abuse....
In the meantime, get a psychological overhaul, and find out why this guy is even in your life.
2006-10-25 13:19:41 · answer #3 · answered by April 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He cheated on you and you still want the abuse to continue? This is what I hear you saying. Your friend is an ex because she slept with him, yet you won't make him an ex because you love him? What is there to love about a person who cannot be trusted, and lied, and made a joke out of you -- all for a few seconds of release???
2006-10-25 13:01:54 · answer #4 · answered by angeleyes 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Disappointing & painful but if you choose to stay with him you needed to accepted that he will cheat on you again. Marry this dude & you will have a cheating husband. If you can live with this reality. Stay. Want a better life leave & find some happiness with some one worth while, Good luck.
2006-10-25 13:05:26 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leaving someone that you love is hard to forget, but I don't think you should put up with him if he already cheated on you with your ex-friends cuz you don't really know what else he might be hiding...
2006-10-25 13:02:39 · answer #6 · answered by Amy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know what you're feeling because I've been there,my ex-husband cheated on me,and also fathered another child.I felt like someone stabbed me in my heart.if you want to leave him, be sure that's what you really want,hang in there you will make the right decision,you deserve to be happy,respected and loved by a man who really loves you, not someone who doesn't respect you.
I wish you the best. :)
2006-10-25 13:03:00 · answer #7 · answered by msalb 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk with him about it, and tell him how you feel.
If you and him do decide to stay together, and he cheats again what is your plan then?
I know people in your situation that has been there, done that and still doing it even though it does not make it right.
Myself, I have been there and done that and thinking about it again.
If you and him do decide to stay together, maybe you want to go to a professional counselor for counseling, and I wish you two the best.
2006-10-25 13:02:32 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you can't leave him, you better get to like the fact that he cheats on you.
Love is a choice, not a disease you catch and can't get rid of. You'll have many, many miles of bad road in life if you get close to folks who don't respect and honor you. Good luck. You'll need plenty of it.
2006-10-25 13:04:34 · answer #9 · answered by DelK 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It would seem that you already lost him when he cheated.
Decide if you want to be with someone who abuses your love and trust and who lies/cheats on you, or not. It's your choice who you want to be with and how you want to live your life. If you decide to end it, stop all contact with him completely, and give yourself time to get over him. Don't' be friends.
2006-10-25 13:00:04 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if they cheat once, and you over look it and stay, he will do it again. after a while it no longer becomes an issue of him cheating and you leaving, its him cheating and you staying. just thank god you're not married to him, it could be much harder to walk away. and dont think forgiving him and moving on to marriage will change him....it wont.
2006-10-25 13:15:02 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋