Well I'm having my child and now I'm so depressed. I can't even imgaine having a baby without a boyfriend even around. My first child I had my bf was at least there even though it wasn't his but now I have no bf, no family, and I'm worried about losing my friends. I don't know how to get over this depression. What should I do? I need a boyfriend. I don't even feel like finishing school anymore. All of my passion for life just seems to be gone. Has anyone every had a child while they are still in school? How did you manage? Should I get another boyfriend to support the baby and I or should I just let my mom care for this one to? This one is a little different--it's my mistake and I want to keep it it's just I don't know wha to do! I'm an honors student and I just feel with this pregnancy my reputations getting worse not only with my peers but my teachers.
2006-10-25 12:17:32 · 24 answers · asked by CeCe 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
I'm about to be 16.
2006-10-25 12:22:31 · update #1
I'm sorry I fogot to add both were a result of rape. So please no insults.
2006-10-25 12:26:01 · update #2
I meant this one is a little different because it was my mistake. My mother told me so. I went out (drinking) and I got a date rape drug put into my beverage.
Support doesn't always mean financial. I mean support the baby emotionally and me during my pregnancy.
Not everyone in a school with 2,000+ students knows everyone else. My close friends and some teachers knew but come on being raped twice isn't "typical." People look at me like I'm just another hoe.
2006-10-25 12:40:08 · update #3
I'm sorry, your story is full of holes and your subsequent comment that both children were a result of rape makes no sense, considering some of the things you say in your question. For example, "this one is a little different--it's my mistake" and "should I get another boyfriend to support the baby". Why would rape be "your mistake" and why would getting a boyfriend mean he'd support a baby who wasn't his? And why would your reputation get worse if you were twice raped?
Just doesn't add up...
2006-10-25 12:31:05 · answer #1 · answered by eli_star 5 · 2⤊ 2⤋
You need to talk to someone right away. Start with a counselor at school or maybe a trusted teacher. There are other options that you should consider. You don't need a boyfriend....that would just be a distraction. You need to feel better about yourself and good about any decision that you make regarding the baby before you even begin to think about another boy in your life. Your so young and have alot to handle...worry about yourself and your baby...you've got lots of time for guys...and it isn't right to find a guy just to take care of your mistake. I am sure you know what birthcontrol is about...I wonder why you didn't use any? Even if the boy said he did you should always protect yourself first!
You said you have no family and yet you mention your mom caring for your child. So you do have family....talk to them. Be as honest and as open as you have tried to be here...
You are a smart girl that has made some bad decisions, now you have to make some smart ones and those aren't always the easiest to make. You have to quit feeling sorry for yourself, you made a mistake...now it's time to pay the price and move on. I know you probably don't want to hear any of this right now, sounds like a lecture from a Mom doesn't it? Well, I am a Mom and I guess this is a lecture...I hope you will hear concern, as well as the message...and not get mad. That is not my intent. Best of luck...
2006-10-25 21:45:01 · answer #2 · answered by Barbiq 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey there. My name is Amanda. I am 18 and I am not sure how old you are but this is quite the tight spot. I know people probably tell you oh if you don't want another baby adoption is a great answer. Yes they are true, adoption is an amazing option. But your choice is your choice. I really don't think that a boyfriend will solve this problem though. What happened to the guy that got you pregnant? Obviously he wasn't a good choice in the first place. Wouldn't you say? I think that you need to love yourself right now. Maybe you need a good support group. You should not have to worry about your friends not wanting to be near you. If they are good friends they won't care. Choose your friends and relationships carefully. If you need a person to talk to, I am always free. I am 8 1/2 months pregnant and at home all day long. Skripnik_A@hotmail.com.
Ok well then. You wrote in a past question of yours something about you need some help and yes you do. See in the other entry you say that you are 19. And that you are pregnant again and that its your boyfriends, you think. But you are now saying that it was rape. And that you work and party. But just on the weekends. Sounds to me like you need some help. You have some lying issues. Be careful what you write because you don't realize obviously that people can go to your past questions and see what else you have asked. DUH
2006-10-25 19:27:50 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
First of all your only 15, last thing on your mind should be getting laid , and if this is your second child why didn't you learn the first time???? kids your age need to worry about school and growing up more then they need there legs open or pants down. IF you keep the baby , you don't need a bf to support it thats your job not someone elses, go get a job after school and take care of your own, i'm a single mom of 3 kids and i never put my kids off on my parents or some other man who wasen't the father. I think honestly you should give it up , so the baby can have a real life and you can finish school with your legs closed . sorry if i sound harsh but if you can't handle a baby quit spreading your legs and making them duh.
2006-10-25 19:33:51 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I was pregnant durring my HS years. My Senior year to be exact. I had a boyfriend, but he didn't care about the son that he was going to have, so I carried on without him. If your peers are having a tough time accepting your "bad decision" then you need to keep your head up and know that they don't decide what you do in your life... you do. You don't need a boyfriend to "valadate" yourself. I realize that you're depressed... but I get that way too and I'm a 20 y/o mother of 1 (soon to be 2) with a wonderful (soon to be) husband. No matter what you're going to have moments of absolute depression. All you need to do is keep your head held high and let everyone know that this isn't going to change what you're doing with your life or how you go about things in life. Then... after you have this child... make sure that you get on birth control so you don't make the same "mistake" again. Besides, though it comes with health risks... the freedom outweights the risks. Keep smiling and be happy to be a mommy.
2006-10-25 19:28:15 · answer #5 · answered by Dani D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl, don't worry Baby's are wonderful. I have two. I was 17 when i found i was pregnant with my first and had no boyfriend, in fact the guy even said my son wasn't his. Yeah i got depressed but eventually when I started going to the OB I grew more and more excited. Don't go out and find some guy to be with just so your kid will have a daddy. You'll do just fine and your not alone you have a beautiful little baby growing inside you. Take care and God bless.
I'm really sorry to hear about the rapes!!! AND NO ONE SHOULD BE JUDGING YOU!!! Children are miracles for God and he will get you through this. Always remember With God ALL things are possible and he will never put more on you then you can handle. Good Luck sweet heart. You can email me if you ever need to talk. hudsonlynd@yahoo.com Good Luck
2006-10-25 19:25:26 · answer #6 · answered by danlynnhunterkaleb 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
you dont need a bf to have a baby this decision to keep your baby has to be yours theres no guarentee a bf will be there forever but the baby will be what other people will think doesnt matter its what you think that is right is what you need to do im 20 and i have a 2 year old daughter and am 36 weeks pregnant with my son i kept my kids because i want them even if noone else does.its good that you have your mom to help you but that wont last forever either all the more you should finish school so you can get a good job and take care of your kids yourself dont worry about your reputation your children are far more important~~good luck!!
2006-10-25 19:36:59 · answer #7 · answered by bellababi44 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think if your not that far along that you should get a job and work as long as you can before you have your baby. If you live with your mom let her help you keep your children. I know lots of girls who had babies in highschool. If you want to help yourself and your children the best thing would to finshin school.Don't try to get a boy friend to take care of this child and end up with another child. You might also want to go to a free clinc and get some birth control and really think about not having sex. As for your friends you will find out who is a true friend and who is not.Do what your heart tells you. You and only you have to deal with your choice. I hope everything is ok.
2006-10-25 19:31:32 · answer #8 · answered by lifesquestions? 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You know what it all comes down to when you are grown is not what people think of you in highschool, keep your head up, finish school, take care of your KIDS! No matter what, you have a child you can't turn your back on them, things work out and when they are 2 or 3 years old you will feel so much hurt even the thought of giving them up. Who cares what the teachers think, you gotta live with you not them right? Do what your heart tells you. Your mom may be a little dissappointed but it all passes sweetie, people will point, oh well, you weren't born to please people, you were born for you
2006-10-25 19:23:01 · answer #9 · answered by momma whitley 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
at 16 you haven't got the life skills to be a good parent, as hard as it is putting the baby up for adoption, it would be the bravest and most loving thing you could do for the baby. Please consider it. and now is not the time to think about a new boyfriend. you need an education so you can take care of yourself first. Boys are just desert , nowhere near as important as you seem to think they are. Go to a counselor and get thinking better, you have some important decisions to make.
2006-10-25 19:35:26 · answer #10 · answered by Suzette 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋