and it seems he likes that way .. 98% of the women who see him , like or love him (damn him) .. though he said he loves me , but i am sure he will betray me one day and also i dont love him either .. i think he is very low in morals .. i want to get divorced .. but my family says not to do it and they wont support me after my divorce .. i think im spending time in hell all the time , i hate him and hate having sex with him and also my confidense is getting more terrible everyday, i think its becuz of him.. since everyone think i have a good situation , but i dont enjoy my time at all .. what do u think i must do ? should i divorce or not ?
2006-10-25 12:06:19 · 44 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
So, like, you're from one of those arranged-marriage countries, huh? Sucks to be you.
OK, ya that was mean. Sorry. Anyway, are you sure your husband is really that cute or is it all in his mind. Does he have facial hair? If he does than I would be in the 2% who would find him repulsive. Anyway, I'm assuming you can not divorce because of your family? So, not much to offer in advise other than try talking to your husband and tell him to grow up and be responsible. Just because women find a guy attractive doesn't mean he can go do it with anyone he wants. He's married. So maybe find a stud on the side and let your husband do what he wants and ignore him. Maybe a bruised ego is what he really needs.
2006-10-25 12:08:07 · answer #1 · answered by BlueSea 7 · 1⤊ 5⤋
If you are in a loveless marriage, why are you staying in it, just to please your family? Life is short, you have to do what is best for you and seeing the situation does not seem like it is going to get any better, divorce seems the only alternative. The only other option you have is for you both to go and see a marriage counselor because divorce is very stressful, I've been through it. Did you marry your husband because he was good looking and nothing else? Sorry to be so blunt. What is important is what is on the inside of a person, does he treat you well, does he say kind endearing words to you, tell you how special you are to him? If you just want a companion for life without love, then sure, stay in the marriage, but if you really want and need someone to love you and don't feel that way with your husband, then I think you two should divorce, well...if marriage counseling does not help. There are also books you can get on relationships at your local bookstore that might help the two of you strengthen your marriage, to rekindle the love you had when you married. You can probably find something for free at your local library too. You did not mention your age, do you feel you were too young to get married? A solid commited relationship takes work, but not so much work where it seems like a job, things should flow naturally, if love is there, you will know it. Men do tend to mature later in life than women. Maybe you just need an older, more mature man, one who is not as great looking, but one who has a kind heart, who will treat you like a princess, that is what every girl deserves don't you think?
2006-10-25 12:15:25 · answer #2 · answered by luneib 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, first I'd like to say that you and only you can make that decision (divorce). I do think you might need to ask yourself some questions. Starting with, what attracted you to him in the first play (other than looks)? Why did you marry him? It's great to have a husband that is handsome, but just because someone looks great doesn't mean that they will run out and cheat. Also just because other women find him attractive doesn't mean he will. It can be a pain when other women are flaunting at your man, but remember it takes two to tango. Try to take it as a compliant when they are checking him out. You could look at this way, at the very least, at least it shows you have great taste. I do have a question, other than looks, why do you believe that he will cheat on you? Is he emotional, mentally, physically abusive? Have you tried talking to him about how your feeling, everything that bothers you inside? If it might be too hard for you to speak it outloud, try writing everything down first. I don't know if any of this helps. Good luck.
2006-10-25 12:23:06 · answer #3 · answered by lovinglife428 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are talking yourself into not loving him. You say you are sure he will betray you one day, so it's like you are looking for a reason. I mean, are you SO sure he will leave you one day? If you treat him like crap because you "think" he might betray you, then yeah, I would probably leave, too. If he says he loves you and comes home to you every night, then make the most of it. Make yourself so irrisistible that he wouldn't even think about ever leaving you. Make women jealous of you that you have such a handsome husband and that he's all yours. After all, you wouldn't have married him if you thought he was repulsive looking. But, mostly, I think you just need to grow up. This isn't high school anymore.
2006-10-25 14:16:26 · answer #4 · answered by chickmomma5 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you are having self esteem issues. Do you feel less attractive than him and therefore you resent him? Maybe if you felt more attractive to other men, you would feel more confident with yourself?
If he says he loves you and he shows you he loves you....maybe he does and you are working yourself up into a frenzy for nothing. Why don't you seek counseling first, before entertaining the thought of divorce.
I am not a big supporter of divorce, but if you go get counseling and it still doesn't help, then you can consider divorce.
2006-10-25 12:12:55 · answer #5 · answered by Agent99 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would put divorce off until you can get some counseling. you want to divorce your husband over issue that you have with yourself, not him. there must have been something about him that made you marry him in the first place. i think everything you are seeing is in your head. most people who are attractive, know they are, but don't care. i have been told that i am a good looking woman and i hate it. people automatically think you are shallow and have low morals. be probably isn't as attractive as you think, probably not liked by everyone as much as you think, and he is not going to eventually betray you. your own confidence problems are in your head, not in your husbands looks.
2006-10-25 12:12:14 · answer #6 · answered by redpeach_mi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you think he will betray you. Just cause he is handsome does not mean he will go after another woman. He loves you and that is love. It is not determined by how beatiful you are. Don't just hate him cause other women like him. If others like him then it means he is good and popular and you should be proud to have the man who others want. My wife is very, very beautiful but I'm happy.
He says he loves you. I have seen many women like you who divorce their husbands and later want them back but its too late.
What are you going to do after divorce. You will be deppressed more. Think carefully and make a decision.
Good luck and hope your life turns out good.
2006-10-25 12:13:04 · answer #7 · answered by Mr Business 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should seek some counselling before you make any other moves. Really. You hate him because he's handsome, you havent said he's "betrayed" you, yet you are "sure" he'll "betray"you.
ok, well you know him better than us. But ask the doctor what he/she thinks before you go filing any papers--the judge might want to know what the grounds (reasons) for divorcing your husband and he/she might raise an eyebrow if you explain what you just said (above).
Good luck.
2006-10-25 12:09:30 · answer #8 · answered by Munya Says: DUH! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why did you marry him. If you don't love him than get a divorce. Don't stay in a marriage that you are unhappy with because of what your family will think. Do what makes you happy. If you dont love him and dont want to be married, why do you care if he cheats. Get a divorce.
2006-10-25 12:09:14 · answer #9 · answered by parrothead2371 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my opinion, the insecurity is created by u alone and if u can't trust him for whatever reason then u don't need to be with him, otherwise u will never have peace of mind.
U can't control other women from admiring him. The only thing u can do is work on your self esteem and u really should consider getting help for that. Oh...and don't worry about what your family says. It's none of their business anyway.
2006-10-25 12:11:55 · answer #10 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are making a bunch of bad choices, sweetie. Since when do you let your family dictate your life??? Why care if they support you or not??? You sound all screwed up and so does your family. This guy is cheating on you now so you may as well move on and get divorced. Stop whining and make good decisions.
2006-10-25 12:10:51 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋