my husband had an affair an emotioinal affair. How do i know he is over the other women?

Answer 1

If you do not know and do not work to change you marriage is heading for problems. An emotional affair is defined as expressing thoughts, ideas, deep feelings, emotions, or sharing experiences normally reserved for spouse with another person or persons. Emotional affairs are often initiated when one spouse is not receiving emotional support from the other spouse and seek fulfillment from another person. An extra-marital affair is always conducted in secrecy. This secrecy, undermines an otherwise healthy marriage. The idea of trust, openness, sharing and the belief that you belong to something all will be damaged. At this point, the cheater needs to own up to things and the victim needs to be able to express what they are going through openly Then the issue that led to the affair can be addressed and both parties need to take responsibilit for the problems and how they will be fixed.A marriage can survive infidelity and a happy marriage can be restored with patience, sincerity and effort. Some of the hurdles that will arise are the victim’s inability to get over the deception, the adulterer’s inability to realize what they have done and how wrong it is or a general inability to address and fix the underlying problems relationship. However, some argue that emotional affairs are more devastating to relationships because even though many relationships can survive when one party is not being sexually fulfilled, most cannot survive when one of the parties are not having their emotional needs met.
So basically it is not important whether it leads to sex it is very damaging no matter what.

Answer 2

I'm assuming an emotional affair means he really opened up and cared about this woman. Without knowing the particulars it sounds like he made a really good friend. I mean if it wasn't sexual then it was emotional and intellectual. If he had the "emotional affair" with a guy friend would you be asking this question? I guess I'm saying that if this relationship did no damage to your relationship with him then there really isn't a problem in the first place, but even if he made a good friend he needs to remove himself from that situation if it makes you uncomfortable. The amount of time he spends with you and attending to your needs will tell you if he is over the relationship.

Answer 3

Darling, this is tough. Sometimes emotional affairs are worst than physical ones. He is sharing his soul, his being with this other person. If it was a wham, bam, thank you ma'am, you could at least say...well it was a one time mistake, but when it gets emotional, a really important line has been crossed. What is he saying to her? Is he telling her his dreams? His desires? Those are yours. Is he whispering sweet nothings to her? Those sweet nothings are yours. Is he talking to her about you? That is being disloyal and is a betrayal. He has betrayed your trust and you need to make him work hard to gain it back. Don’t let him get away with, ‘we were only talking.’ That is crap. It was a betrayal to a person you are supposed to be loyal to. This is an ugly bed he has made and he needs to fix it, no matter how long it takes. It may take you 2 months or 2 years to get over this. You will always be wondering in the back of your mind if he is still talking to this person. If maybe he went farther than he is letting one. From now on, he needs to be an open book. He needs to let you see all e-mails whenever you want. He needs to let you look at cell phone and credit card bills. He needs to go where he says he is going and be there when you call. If he needs to make a pit stop on the way, he needs to tell you about it. He needs to do whatever it takes to regain your trust. Let him off easily and he will think your trust is not worth much. We teach people how to treat us and he has to learn that he needs to treat your trust as if it were made of gold.

Answer 4

Emotional meaning they had strong feelings for each other?? You don't know and you probably won't. She's still there and i don't think it's that easy to get over someone when they see each other everyday and all day. I could be wrong but since he knows you probably know they could be trying to stay low keyuntil they think everything has boiled over. But that's not easy to do either since it's known now.Firing her might not do him any good since she could turn around and say she got fired for personal reasons. Then all hell could break loose. You could end up losing him anyway. It's a tough situation for them now since they know you know. i've had relationships like that and things never worked out. digging into it won't help you because if they aren't over it, they are going to lie anyway. If you decide to stick it out then you will have to try very hard not to think about it because you will never know the truth. You need all the blessing you can get. whatever you find out be strong ok?

Answer 5

All I can say is that Love Is Blind. You have probably heard this before, but if he did it once, he will sure do it again. I know it hurts but it is the truth. You have two options leave him and cry for some time or just stay with him and let him do it again ( you'll cry for-ever). Remember you are #1, no one else is better than you, or above you. You do not deserve what he did. No one does. If you stay with him and forgive him just like that, then he is never going to respect you. If you want to be with him and you really really love him, put him to the test, give each other some time and let him make it up to you, tell him you want him to make you fall in love all over again, make him work for it.

Answer 6

First, why did he have it? What was he getting from her that he didn't get at home? Probably understanding and acceptance. Ask him and be prepared for the truth. Allow him to tell you the truth. Some people feel that they HAVE to lie to their mate. Are you that mate? Second, realize that you are not his "everything" and that's OKAY! What you have may be very strong. Is it worth sacrificing because you are not his everything? If you have to be his everything, then you'll need to find someone (if you divorce) who will view you that way. Good luck looking. If he is allowed to talk about it and you are able to still love him, you can learn from it and move on...but it will take time. Do you love him like that?

Answer 7

My husband did the same thing but it was his best friends wife. I told him what I saw and I could not measure up to her. I told him to really think about it and make a choice me or the emotional affair. I don't know if he still has thoughts of her but wer'e still together after sleeping in separate rooms for awhile. I just keep going about daily living without it interferring with me.

Answer 8

what is an emotional affair?....affair is affair...honey is not your doing he needs counseling. If he needed to look for somebody else for emotional "whatever" then he didn't look close enough to see all he needs is AT HOME....you my dear do not even think about him been over her or not...the most important thing is You to be clear and over this..that is what matters most. Are you strong enough not to dwell in this or bring it up again and again?...is he really showing that he is sorry?..keep your eyes open :-)

Answer 9

Easy, ask him.
Are you in counseling? Go while you still care.
He needs to get how awful he was to you...and how angry and hurt you are. If not, he will do it again. How many times is enough?
PS. Look at that little button that says"Spelling" and use it. It's embarrassing not to know the rudiments of your own language.
Are you interested in staying married? Go to counseling, you can't afford not to. If he won't go, go alone, and learn how to stick up for yourself, so you won't go through this again.
If you don't want to stay married to him, use this moment to get the hell outa there, and sue him for divorce, and her for "alienation of affection." Take 1/2 the money out of the bank, (it's legally yours) and call a lawyer.
Good luck.

Answer 10

Most men I know don't have "emotional" affairs.............You guys need to take a good long look at some issues in your relationship. This does not sound right to me. Watch him and see how he starts acting.