for one year. John Arrington told me that he was stay with his sister after he retired from the army. I had went over to the house and meet his sister but that was his wife. I had know clue he was married until he ask me to do his tax. I ask him then he told me it is not a marriage. I was alreay whip on my at ths time. I had meet two of his kids they was wonderful. I'm really love John and can get him off my mind. I still call and tell him i still care for him. I can not get off him. The whole relationship was base on poor sex and good sex. I coukd real talk to this man and feel comfrontable with him. The whole relationship was bse on lies.I JUST CAN NOT GET OVER HIM. I still wanted and love John so much.
2006-10-25 10:22:04 · 13 answers · asked by ANGELA G 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
You need to get over it. If he is married, his wife is probably miserable.
You'll be miserable too if you wind up with him. Once a cheat, always a cheat.
2006-10-25 10:25:01 · answer #1 · answered by tina m 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well...you pretty much said it "The whole relationship was based on lies". It isn't John that you love, it's the man that he portrayed himself to be and I'm sorry...that man doesn't exist. Now, you know the truth and it's up to you to do what you will with that information. It's different when a woman doesn't know that the man is taken (especially in his situation, he not only has a wife but kids aswell!). And now that you're aware and still decides to pursue, then your status changes to not only the "mistress" but "homewrecker" too. Knowing that, be the bigger person and step aside and run as far away from him. Don't even think for one minute that he would leave his family for you. Why? Because he never even told you about them in the first place. Which ment that he never had the intention of leaving them. He wants the best of both worlds. He's a selfish man.
2006-10-25 17:36:41 · answer #2 · answered by 00jag 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry that I can't offer a lot of sympathy for you and your situation.
You found out in March that he was still married and you are seeking advice 6 or 7 months later? What have you been doing all this time.
It doesn't matter if John does not think it was a real marriage. If the marriage was legal performed, then he is still married. If you have any hopes of legally marrying him, (and I have to wonder why you would want to stay with someone who told you such a MAJOR lie!), then he must get a divorce.
YOU can't get one for him. He has to do it.
I know love does some crazy things to people's heads, but if you are an adult, you have to act like one. This "love" sounds pretty one-sided. You love a man who LIES to you. That means he does not love you back. Sounds to me that he operates on lust, rather than love.
It takes two adults to make an adult relationship. He's not acting like one, and it's time for you to start behaving like one and get on with your life. Any other direction leads to tragedy.
2006-10-25 17:32:15 · answer #3 · answered by Vince M 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would you still be with a man who is married? It may hurt now, but do yourself a favor and find someone who will love, honor and cherish you. All without being involved with someone else. You should know that you deserve better than that.
2006-10-25 17:24:35 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi... I'm from Jasper, Alabama.
You're emotionally & sexually attached to him... it won't be easy to get over him, if it's what you're sincerely wanting to do... but you can do it, I'm sure.
It takes time... & realizing that the attachments that you have come from liking/loving something good about him, & from needs that you have, that he's fulfilled.
There will always be something about him that you'll like/love/admire... but it doesn't mean that it's the glue that holds the relationship together.
2006-10-25 17:33:50 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This lie is too big to forgive. If he'll lie like this now, what would your life be like if you married him? Dump him. Heal. Move on. Find a real man who will love and respect you.
2006-10-25 17:25:50 · answer #6 · answered by Otis F 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If his marriage is really based on lies, why does he have to lie to you? He could have left her long ago. Find a guy that will put you first in life.
2006-10-25 17:26:02 · answer #7 · answered by nursesr4evr 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let him go... You do not know what else he has lied about. There are plenty of men in the world. He may just bring you more heartbreak!
2006-10-25 17:25:46 · answer #8 · answered by abadcv 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dump the creep fast...
Find someone else...
The best medicine for a broken heart is a new lover....
2006-10-25 17:24:03 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's not honest. If he'll go this far, he'll go farther. Pray that you can get over him and move on! You deserve better. I know you think he's a great guy, but a healthy relationship cannot have flaws like this. Please, please move on.
2006-10-25 17:25:00 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋