They play in a band together. She was calling 3 to 4 times a day and emailing often. Her emails crossed the line by opening with "hi handsome" and closing with "kisses" and being flirtatious in between. I've confronted both was was told it meant "nothing" they are "just friends". They continue to email and talk on the phone but I'm told the flirting has stopped. They continue to play in the same band. I'm not possessive at all and have never been before, but this doesn't feel right....any advice?
2006-10-25 10:21:51 · 30 answers · asked by Michelle 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
At the least they are in an emotional affair and you damn well need to put a stop to it.
2006-10-25 10:24:04 · answer #1 · answered by OleMarbleEyes 5 · 6⤊ 0⤋
If it doesn't feel right then it isn't right. Especially when she is emailing with handsome, kisses, flirting, etc. This is certainly inappropriate behavior. There's more going on with this story than what they are claiming.
I have had a experience with my husband talking to another woman on the phone about business but I have never read any of the stuff you have said she's including. Don't let up!
2006-10-25 16:24:39 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
They obviously are attracted to each other. Does he talk to his other friends or bandmates 3 - 4 times a day and email each other all the time?
Of course he's going to say it's nothing or they're just friends.
You are told the flirting has stopped but you do not know for sure?
You obviously have an issue with this, and rightly so, if he cared for you at all he would have slowed down the friendship to almost a halt out of his love and respect for you.
You say it doesn't feel right - trust your gut.
2006-10-25 10:28:00 · answer #3 · answered by betsymaemae 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My boyfriend has a female friend and she does something similar. She is all over his myspace and sends him text messages. I told my boyfriend it makes me uncomfortable, like any guy would he told me it was nothing to worry about. Although it makes me nervous I have to believe him until he does something out of line. The fact that your husband is not trying to hide these interactions leads me to believe he doesn't see a problem with it, if he were a cheater he'd most likely be hiding his tracks.
The woman might have something in mind, but try to forget about her actions and pay close attention to what your husband is up to. The woman might be trying to get attention, feel attractive, etc. She might just be a hussy. Or she could just be naturally flirty.
She might not even be aware her actions are upsetting you. Is there anyway you could send her an email or pull her aside and tell her her flirtatious ways are making you uncomfortable?
2006-10-25 10:39:59 · answer #4 · answered by Gwen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if you have not already, I think you need to get that woman alone & kick her azz...just joking, if you have not already I think you need to get her alone & tell her Woman to Woman & that you expect her to act like a grown woman about this situation. I certainly do not think you should trust her, but put in her ear the way you feel, what you see & what it will do to your husband if it gets any worse. If they are just friends then she will not want to hurt his marriage over some dumb flirting. On the other hand that is impressive that she calls & you know when she calls...that he has not completely hid the whole thing from you.
IF you have already talked to both of them about this & they said they understood where you were coming from & made some promisies that they have not kept yet, you need to really consider that there may be more going on then "just friends". It totally sucks to come to that, but girl dont be blind. & dont let these 2 play you.
good luck girl, I hope it works out in your favor.
2006-10-25 10:35:33 · answer #5 · answered by PURE 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well looking through the responses, most everyone thinks he is a cheating bastard. Well, I dont. I have been married for 12 years and my best friend is a female. We started out as co-workers but we clicked on alot of levels. None of them sexuall We both have spouses and understand that our relationship is platonic regardless of how or what we say to each other. I end everyone of my conversations with her with love you. I could go on and on but I will end with - So there might be something going on, and on the flip side there might not be. Give the guy a chance, I would not give up my best friend for nothing would you?
2006-10-25 10:57:18 · answer #6 · answered by jjbnkr 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yikes! I wish you'd checked this situation out a little more before confronting either one of them. If anything is going on they'll just hide it better now. And it sounds like something is going on. You should get a friend to call and e-mail to see how hubby likes it. If he's as smart as most men he'll probably tell you that's different and innappropriate for YOU. He'll tell you that his situation is different because they HAVE to spend time together. Good luck.
2006-10-25 10:32:03 · answer #7 · answered by DJ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you can put your foot down. But don't expect anything to change unless he understands how you feel. I put my foot down about 4 years ago. This girl kept hanging around my husbands work like she was a lost puppy. (Looked like one too.) My hubby kept saying aww, she's my friends kid sister, I can't tell her not to. When I showed up at the store, she'd hide in the back room. (Like I didn't know) Threatened my oldest daughter , if she told me that my daughter say her at the store again..... But according to my husband. Nothing Ever Happened!!! She had a crush on him! So I told him , Its me or her. He refused to tell her to stay away. Unfortunately I didn't stand by my threat, now 4 years later, I'm finally divorcing the clod!!!!! Good luck I know how you feel.
2006-10-25 10:41:32 · answer #8 · answered by Amy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
OMG! This just happened to me. And you can bet your a** I put a stop to it. At least for his sake, it better be over! And you have a right to do it as well. No woman has a right to be THAT flirtatious with a married a man and any decent married man would reject it and put her in her place. Good luck to you and i hope thats all it is.
2006-10-25 11:13:16 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it doesn't "feel" right - it isn't. I'm married, and I don't call ANYONE 3-4 times a day, even my BEST friends. What they have isn't "friendship", it is a relationship. Whether or not they have crossed the line sexually - it's anyone's guess. But even without it, it is inappropriate for a married person to act this way. Get a guy friend, start calling and e-mailing him several times a day, be flirtatious. See what your husband thinks. I bet he's not gonna feel it is "just friendship".
Tell him to grow up.
2006-10-25 10:26:22 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have to do what you have to do! Trusting your natural instinct to know something is amiss is right on!!
Stay on top of the situation. Some chicks go for the jugular and dont let up! She sounds like serrious trouble.
2006-10-25 11:29:02 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋