Hello,
My husband just started his carreer as a truck driver and will be home every 5 weeks. We will celebrate our 10 yeary anniversary in March and have 2 young boys under 5. Right now we are going through a rough time where our "spark" has been gone for about 5 years but we really love each other and want it to work. Please give me some advice on how to get back our spark and to keep it with the career he has chosen.
2006-10-25 10:05:20 · 14 answers · asked by RPJ 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Get him a computer for the truck. you can message him, there is a new "toy" that can be controlled from anywhere in the world and work on you(adameve.com). web cam, etc.etc.
2006-10-25 10:07:50 · answer #1 · answered by Anna F 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If I didn't know better I'd think you were me..haha My husband and I have been married 11 years this next February and he has been driving for the last 8 years. I did drive with him for about 31/2 years of that, but being over the road is hell on a marriage. But, we seem to be surviving so far, but we don't have children, so that makes things a bit tougher.
We try to get away now and then to a hotel, if finances provide, or camping, fishing, just something for us with no one around to interupt. Now I know with kids that is going to be a bit tougher, but maybe try to get someone to keep them now and then and steal some time for yourselves. I wish you all the luck in the world. My husband now has been able to find a job where he is home every 2 weeks, still not the greatest but ya gotta pay the dues of being out there and then with experience they'll be able to find something local and get payed just as well as being out there. And if everything works out right, go with him, that was a blast for us.
2006-10-25 10:28:34 · answer #2 · answered by sircbstp 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In my opinion marriages dont usually keep their spark forever. You always have to work at it. Be spontanious and unpredictable in everything you do. This new cerreer may be the trick. My boyfriend and I were apart for the second year of our relationship. I only saw him every two months for a couple of days. That made it that much better. We missed eachother so much and we didnt take eachother for graunted anymore. When we saw eachother it was amazing how much love was there. Also, my grandfather is a truck driver and he and my grandmother have the best relationship. Of coarse my grandma worries and she misses him but like I said when he gets home it is great and they are inseprable. I hope I could help.
2006-10-25 10:14:18 · answer #3 · answered by angel l 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I does not matter what he does but how much he loves you.
When he is away be in touch via computer, you can chat you can see each other (get him video camera) and play together sexually. Sexual relationship is like a dance. You can either step on each other's toes or you can glide gracefully as if your were being guided by some force greater than both of you. It takes practice and experience to dance as if you were one body; it takes understanding, dialog and time to create sexual unity.
The understanding part of the equation is that men and woman move to the beat of a different drummer and experience pleasure differently. A man becomes sexually aroused more quickly than a woman and is more focused on genital pleasure. A woman needs time and emotional contact in order to experience strong sexual feelings. Both partners need to learn about each other and understand each other's respective needs.
Through dialog a couple can learn what each other’s needs are and how to meet those needs. There’s no avoiding it. If you want to rehabilitate a dull sexual relationship, you need to tell and show your partner, "I need to be touched here and in this way. This is what turns me on." Also, don’t be afraid to ask your partner what he or she needs.
You want good sex? Be prepared to take the time to make it happen. There are no quick fixes to sexual fulfillment. It takes patience and practice. Commit yourself to do it and you’ll rekindle the embers and bring passion back into your lives.
2006-10-25 10:23:19 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
as a driver my self who 's gone anywhere from a week or 2 to 2+ months , comunication is the main thing . when he is home make sure you make the time to be together both in and out of the bed room . worst part for you will be the added responsibility of taking care of your home . he will not be able to see every thing that you have to deal with ,. and for myself there has been nothing worst then coming home and not being able to have time with my wife . there have been a few times that after being home and us having no time together that when I left I asked my self .why do I bother with her . and if you aren't able to drop each others pants at home , then you may have to wounder if some one else isn't droping his for him out on the road . and he may also wounder about what you are doing at home . and don't be afraid to try new things when he's home . and give some thoughts to giving him a bit of phone sex , web cam type stuff , if you do it right it will be fun for both of you
2006-10-25 10:23:15 · answer #5 · answered by crazy_ol_hippie_radical 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I deal with truck drivers everyday. I hear stories about their family all the time so that means they miss them as well as their families miss them. My suggestion why not tag along on some of his trips. You could bring the family. Also doing the nasty while your hubby is behing the wheel would be exciting and a twist that could have you both talking about it for a while. I heard that story from truck drivers making love to their wives that way so many times is not even funny anymore. It's good that both of you are trying to work things out. I applaude you for that. Good luck
2006-10-25 10:13:00 · answer #6 · answered by urhomiesid 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think you should go with him on one of his runs. Take an adventure together. Leave the kid with family for a week or so. You don't have to do the 5 weeks just fly back when you want to come back. You could see alot of the US with him and you could role play you are a hot young thing he picked up on the side of the road.
2006-10-25 10:17:35 · answer #7 · answered by goingfasterbmw 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How long will he be back after his 5 week run? If the amount of time is enough for both, make sure you have a babysitter on the night he returns, cook him dinner and have a romantic night for just the two of you. Then he will also have time for the kids and your relationship will not suffer because you've already taken the time for yourselves.
2006-10-25 10:10:56 · answer #8 · answered by adearman2226 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
my father is a truck driver..it was always his passion when we grew up..when we were young he took a job with a company that kept him local a little more..on weekends and vacations he took us with him...when we were grown and out of the house my mom joined him in a cross country job he is now a long drive hauler and in the summer takes my son with him...it will be hard but my parents made it work I am (31) and you can too...maybe after he gets some experience he can look for more local work..to be home more with the kids..and you...also do you have a web cam?? I know truckers that set time aside every night to have a web cam conversation with their family every night the next best thing would be postcards and phone calls at a set time..i have a post card collection that i just handed down to my children to add to theirs from my dad...if you are committed to it working it will make sure to schedule time for you and him when hes home make sure you set a babysitter for after hes spent time with the kids ...keep the faith and love can endure anything even the miles...just don't let the children suffer ..even if you need to make the cards out for him to an extent...let him know when you need him..my mom now tells him when she stays home i just wish you were here..hr advice is don't hold back your feelings just because hes away and also...always end a conversation Happy with an I LOVE YOU..hope i helped...i know its hard but if you complain it will strain your relationship...would he be happy with another job..its alot to ask of you but if you truly love him you want him to be happy...i know that being apart is hard and parenting harder maybe he'll find out he can't handle missing out on the kids younger years ..my dad did and drove local...just be as suportive as you can ...but be you...if it becomes too much tell him ..i hope it all works out..everyone deserves to be happy
2006-10-25 10:16:41 · answer #9 · answered by Alli 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Spark gone for 5 years? RIP
2006-10-25 10:08:15 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
absence makes the heart grow fonder... plan something special for the times he IS home. be considerate of his need for rest if he is tired, but girl - gt a babysitter when he is home and go OUT - cook him his favorite meals, or take him to his favorite restaurant and get a room at a nice hotel where you can be alone in peace and celebrate with breakfast in bed and other fun stuff for the two of you!
2006-10-25 10:08:39 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋