should i marry him?

Question

he has bad habits and he smokes and drinks he yells alots hes not abusive or anything but he always takes his frustrations out on me and i dont think i can handle it anymore but i really love him what should i do

Answer 1

seek counseling first. if he can change his bad habits, marry him, if he can't time to move on.

Answer 2

Tell him that he needs to stop taking his frustrations out on you and tell him he needs to stop smoking and drinking. If he loves you he would at least try to stop drinking and smoking. It's really hard to quit. Don't marry him just right yet because if he is yelling at you and taking his frustrations out on you then he might get abusive when you get married. Tell him that you don't like his bad habits and he needs to make a change. If he really loved you he will at least try to stop smoking and drinking and stop yelling at you. My moms boyfriend did the same thing yelled at her when he had a bad day then they got married at she started getting abused. See if he makes a chang and wait another 2 years before you get married because if he just makes a chang for a year then he'll just turn around and start doing the same sh** again. WAIT! Good Luck!

Answer 3

Bad habits shouldn't necessarily be a make or break decision maker - but that's just my personal opinion. I think for every bad habit he has you probably have one to match, no? I mean everyone has their faults.

BUT the yelling and the "taking his anger out on you" situation is not something I recommend staying around. If it makes you uncomfortable then tell him that - if he can't work some other way to let his anger out then you should really consider if you want to spend the rest of your life having to be verbally abused!

Answer 4

Just from experience it gets worse after you are married and have kids. If he is drinking and yelling now when you are married and have kids and the stress of family life it will only get more intense. If you can't handle now get out before you have kids and have to go through a divorce.

Answer 5

I have a question how old is he?
Listen deep down in your heart u know that he is not good for u, and don't think that once u marry he will change, because he wont, the drinking will get worse and he will became violent towards u.he will say I'm sorry i shouldn't have done that i was DRUNK i didn't mean it, and u will forgive him. YEARS later and kids later u will realize the HUGE mistake u did and the kids will be the ones paying for it.

Answer 6

You already know the answer. Don't marry someone who takes his frustrations out on you. Any bad habits he has now will still be there after you get married. You can do better.

Answer 7

Definitely not. I married a man I absolutely adored and worshipped, but after 3 years, the drinking dominated everything, and he did get violent, more than once. It won't be worth it. He'll walk away at the end unharmed by the relationship but you'll never be quite the same again.

Answer 8

Ask yourself: Love? or Lazy? If you really love him then maybe some counseling for both of you before deciding to take the plunge. If you are comfortable and don't want to have to get back in the dating scene. Tough luck. Don't settle for less than you deserve.

Answer 9

If you have to ask then no. I remember just before the marriage ceremony with my first wife asking myself if I was doing the right thing. I thought it was just cold feet. We were divorced less than a year later. When my current wife and I got married there was not doubt in my mind that it was meant to be.

Answer 10

if your having problems dating him why would you marry him? I think you answered the question yourself when you said "i dont think i can handle it anymore "
If you love him that much that you still want to be with him, get some couples counseling, perhaps that can help you both.

Answer 11

Get counselling before making any big decisions. He sounds like he might need some anger management. He won't change his ways until he is ready to admit he has a problem.