Is a divorce the option?

Question

I been married for about 7 years, and my marriage have been very difficult for the last 3 years, all of the sex in the relationship have stop completely, I think that I want to start dating and see other people, I told my wife that I felt this way and that I wanted out of the relationship, she doesn’t want to accepted it and she wants a second chance, I told her not to expect anything from me for now, but I still feel like I want out of the relationship. There is one catch, we have kids together which I love very much and are holding me back from leaving. They are the reason of my life and I don’t want them to go thru a Divorce. I don’t want to go to counseling either, Don’t think I want to work it out.

Answer 1

You need to try the counseling. Eventhough you may not want it and you want to be out of the marriage, if your kids are that important then try the counseling out for them. Obviously there are many issues between you and your wife that are not resolved. My husband and I went to counseling and it really did work because there was so much anger on both sides but for some reason telling a third neutral party about how we felt helped both of us feel better and we also dealt with communication problems that we were having. You can't lose anything by going to counseling because that is the last resort. If you are that miserable then you need to divorce if you are not willing to try counseling. Kids can pick up on parents being unhappy and that can affect them.

Answer 2

If she wants a second chance, why not give it a try if you still love her? A second chance costs you nothing and a divorce will cost you a lot and I am not just talking about financial. Divorce will cost you at least 50% of the time with your children. You know your wife and the second chance could be a lot of fun. Sit down with her, tell her why you are unhappy and tell her what you think a second chance would be like and your expectations. If she can not do it, then talk about divorce, but it should be your last option, not your first.

Answer 3

Well, you can't have it all!! Ever hear of the seven year itch??? Sounds like you have it. If you don't want your kids to go through a divorce then you better find a way to work it out with your wife! Counseling could be a way to do that. Aren't your kids worth at least trying counseling???

Answer 4

It sounds like you already know the answer to your question.

While it may be tough on the kids - I don't believe you necessarily need to sacrifice your life and happiness so they can have two parents in the household. They grow up watching and learning from your relationship, and often repeat it themselves. If your marriage is loveless they will pick up on that. It's not healthy for them either.

If you truly are unsure then you really should seek out counseling. You need a personal counselor AND a marriage counselor to see with your wife together. At least this way you tried and you can be sure in your decision.

Answer 5

Well, you have to be willing to actually try and be open minded/ give her another chance, if you want it to work out. You cant just close her out and start seeing other people. Sometimes counseling really helps. There has to be some underlying reason why the sex has stopped, maybe a counselor could actually help you. Good luck!

Answer 6

Think about the reasons you got together in the first place. Think about the reasons you married and had children with her. Try to make it work before even considering a divorce. If even counselling does not work which you should try. Then see a lawyer. Good luck with this and please try not to argue in front of the children. That will emotionally scar them for life.

Answer 7

Your kids will suffer from a divorce and your unwillingness to seek counseling. If that's ok with you, then tell your kids that they aren't worth the effort and your dating/sex life is more important than their future and wellbeing. Be honest, right?
Any woman you get to date you while in this situation will have questionable morals, so that's another thing your kids will have to suffer through.
Kids SHOULD hold a person back from ditching their marriage.

Answer 8

Make a list of what you want from a new woman. Have it reviewed by counseler. If it is reasonable give your wife a last chance. She may just need training. You can always leave later.

Answer 9

well, you sound like a complete looser.

so let me get this stright. your kids are the center of your life and are keeping you from leaving, but you can't give them the gift of loving their mother? that sounds selfish. and it doesn't sound like you really love your kids. you don't want to drag them through a divorce, but it's okay to show them that marriage is a painful thing and that it's okay to not work at if you don't feel like it.

with friends like you who would need an enemy?

grow up, you are married and have a commitment to your wife and your kids! man up, dude! make it work out! otherwise i hope your wife takes you for every penny you have now and later!

Answer 10

From what I have read you want to leave so that is what you need to do. Sometimes things just don't work but do not feel like the kids should keep you there because in the long run they will suffer if daddy and mommy are not happy. You need to not waist anymore time because life is too short to be unhappy. Enjoy your children, enjoy your life, and try to reamain friends with your wife (she is the mother of your children).

Best of luck!