Hey so heres the thing I am gay and I have been out for like ever however my best friend of like 10 years has always been str8....and hes always had a girlfriend....however he just broke up with her and now he has been doing a lot of things with me like he takes me out to eat or he will take me shopping ......just different things that are giving weird ideas. He just told me that he wants to take me to Disneyland this weekend......and then on my birthday he took me out to dinner and it was just me and him ...he didnt invite any of my other friends....and now when I go over to his house he acts differently....... he seems to be more close to me....I dont know..... we are only 22 years old so it could be that he now discovered that hes gay ....I NEED HELP!!!
2006-10-25 09:15:51 · 23 answers · asked by confused1 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Some good points being made in here already, thought some of them a little bit contradictory.
I wonder what might happen if you just treat him as you always have - but when he does things like take you for a meal, ask him a litle while later where he would like to be taken for a meal.
If you have known him for ten years, you must both know a great deal of each others likes and dislikes, think of little things that can be done which show you care for him - yet manage NOT to make you look as though you are "trying too hard".
As others have pointed out, he might just be in need of a close company he trust will not hurt him / abandon him. Equally, he may also be wondering what might happen if.......
Let him make his moves if you can, keep being a best friend and if he DOES make an approach, be confident and caring. If you act timid or unsure, he may feel foolish/unwise for asking. Young lads are often much more insecure than they let on - more so when they have just had a realtionship end on them.
I hope it works out for you - but a true friend is a mighty fine "runner-up" prize anway - let alone one that takes you out for intimate meals and weekends away.
2006-10-26 09:13:20 · answer #1 · answered by Mark T 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can ask him if he ever thought about walking on "the other side." Laugh it off if he says no.
He now has a lot of free time and probably considers you a good friend. So he can still be straight and just hanging out with you more because he felt guilty that he couldn't hang out with you as much when he had a girlfriend.
Say hi to Mickey Mouse for me!
2006-10-25 18:00:14 · answer #2 · answered by gc27858 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Or it could be that he is just clinging to his best friend now that his girlfriend is out of the picture. Maybe he just missed your friendship and he is making up for lost time. Or maybe, just maybe it could be more. Besides the dinners has he made a pass or given you any kind of looks that may suggest otherwise? He could just need a friend right now. Unless he makes a move I wouldn't' act on anything, because what if your wrong, you dont' want to risk your friendship. Right?
2006-10-25 16:22:38 · answer #3 · answered by Shy 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Well you could be reading in to it, since you are gay and probably deep inside would like him to be as well. I mean who doesn't want to fall in love with their best friend? I would let him come to you. Don't make any serious moves, you could lose him in the process. He could just be finding comfort from the break-up. I know some gay guys that were just the most absolute wonderful people to be around when just breaking up, you know there are no strings attached. Go to Disney World and you never know. He might be finding out if he is Gay. If you jump on the chance it might frighten him. Good luck and just let him come to you.
2006-10-25 16:19:34 · answer #4 · answered by Barbara C 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
No, he just thinks you are a good friend. He doesn't want to date anyone yet after his breakup - maybe he's hoping to get back together. Either way, you are a safe bet to fill his evenings because you've been friends forever and he feels comfortable with you.
Don't confuse this with attraction - it's not, and you end up ruining a good friendship if you try and make a move.
2006-10-25 18:48:34 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
(things move slowly and reveals there self with time, enjoy his company his friendship and dont ask why..... everything has a season....like a flower things will eventually bloom or things will die and be back to normal) if i was you, I think that I would consulte with a counselor or pshycologist there could be more open dialect and for someone who does not know the whole situation it could be difficult to advise you and dangerous. (there are free one 1-800 numbers, search the web)
2006-10-25 18:48:59 · answer #6 · answered by southernboy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey I don't know... It could be a number of things... He could just feel safe with you and he is missing the relationship thing... He could just respect you for being his best friend and has nothing better to spend his money on... Or he might have always had feelings for you and was never able to act on them... Maybe he might think you aren't attracted to him... Are you touchy feeling with him "not sexually" ? do you hug him or hold onto his arm? Answer me and I'll edit my answer..
2006-10-25 16:33:46 · answer #7 · answered by mylife 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Do you want to be with him or just to find out if he's gay?Could be that he's lonely after the breakup and is likes to be consoled by you. If he's a good friend ask him if he's questioning his sexually and you're there to answer any questions he has.
2006-10-25 16:18:03 · answer #8 · answered by Dick Tater 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
The only thing you can really do is ask. But if you do and he says no, then you may put a crimp in your friendship.
I'd suggest playing it by ear and see what happens. You could drop some simply questions...like next time you see a handsome guy, make an open comment that is is attractive and see how he responds.
2006-10-25 16:20:24 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
probably str8 and lonely. ask him what's going on...tell him you feel like he is acting a little different towards you and you are wondering why...he's your best friend so i don't see a problem with a little honesty.
2006-10-25 17:40:50 · answer #10 · answered by Spyder 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋