Why is it that so many marriages are failing these days? What happend to loving and sticking with your ...?

Question

spouse for better or worse and until death. A lot of questions people ask on here that I see in the marriage/divorce category say things like they want out of their marriage or that thier spouse is cheating and they want a divorce or something crazy like that. Where did the love go? Where did honor go? Do people forget these things or what? When things get rough in their marriage they want to give up and get a divorce. Marriage is work its not a vacation! When people decide to get engaged do they realize that it is a LIFE COMMITMENT!

I can understand if your in an abusive relationship then yes by all means get out.

Answer 1

You asked some very good questions and I must say when marriage fail it's because people allow themselves to be carried about with negative words of unseen forces that rule the air. God design marriage to be joyous and free but when we don't put God in our marriage and began to renew our minds with the Word of God on marriage we allow evil forces to tell us it will not work or I married the wrong one. With God all things are possible. It's not that people forget their vows, it's just they don't know the Lord. God Bless you.

Answer 2

There are many reasons the "divorce rate" has grown. Here are a few reasons: You have to remember we have better records than we use to, so we're better prepared to report a more accurate divorce rate. In addition, it is easier for women to obtain divorces than in the past. Also, many abandoned their families, moved away and remarried. On paper, it seemed as if families stayed together more so in the past, when in fact, they didn't always. You must also consider that today many times couples prepare for the wedding, not the marriage. Not everyone has the same idea of what a marriage should be and how long it should last. Cereal monogamy is acceptable in our society, thus, divorce is a byproduct I hope this, along with other future comments, gives you some insight. Have a great day! :)

Answer 3

You are right for the most part. Marriages do take work and its not a vacation but there are also factors that come into play that you just shouldnt stay in a marriage. And these days its far too easy to get a divorce. People have too many choices to be in a relationship with nothing but unhappiness but I think they dont realize that every relationship takes work and dedication to it. And a lot of people well at least where I am from marry far too young. It just depends on the situation if there are obscene problems that one person just cannot control and really should get out.

Answer 4

I can't respond for the rest of the world, just for me. My status is divorced and then remarried, by the way.

Just before we separated, my ex- chose to do a few things that put the children at risk in a way that meant I could literally not be under the same roof for even one hour without other witnesses present without significant legal risk, even though I had never done anything to harm her.

She was given several weeks to recant and withdraw, but instead chose to go to trial, where she was essentially laughed out of court. But there was still no way back -- her accusations, etc. burned the bridge behind her.

Many marriages fail because it is no longer safe for one of the spouses to stay. If a person is unfaithful, the other partner risks any manner of STDs by staying in a sexual relationship. If one of the spouses develops a drug, alchohol or gambling addiction and will not work their way back out of it, a person's entire life and well being can be at risk.

So the real question isn't why are so many marriages failing, it is why people are making the kinds of stupid decisions that make it impossible for a marriage to succeed.

Answer 5

Some just cannot be monogamous any more. it is to easy to slip of off that weding ring and go out get drunk and have sex with the first hot person they see. Instead of working out or through problems they call it quits cause it is so easy now days it is unreal. Divorce is easier than understanding, forgiveness, and unconditional love how sad is that. What I saw in my own marriage and in so many others is the idiotic belief that this person you are married to is supposed to make you happy. And when you aren't happy, you try to change that person to be the spouse who will make you happy. When that doesn't work, you throw up your hands in dismay and say, "well, I tried to save the marriage but it is hopeless."

The real answer is you tried to find happiness through marriage. As my mother told me a few years ago, the only person who can make you happy is the person you see when you look in the mirror. No one else has that responsibility. Until you make peace with that person you will be unhappy in marriage & life.

Answer 6

I agree -I'm divorced (twice) Today even with kids usally one or both parties are only willing to go so far to keep a marrriage going. Generations ago, wives especially, would stick out even the worst circumstances because of lack of options financially.

Today I would say it has swung too far the other way. Woman especially know that they have other options and are not affraid to just file and move on. Phrases like "I just don't love him anymore" "he can't meet my needs" "he doesn't provide for me as I thought he would or could" are increasingly seen as divorce worthy. Guys screw up too. From my experience it the women that usally decide to "pull the plug'. I think infidelity is getting worse all the time,the stigma against it just isn't as formidable as it used to be. I'm not slamming woman I'm just saying that the pendulum has just swung too far in the other direction.

Communication break down usually is the final straw in most marriages. I think the "peanut gallery" effect is huge too-Woman often reliying on the advice of other woman,tv, (Oprah types) and others often take bad advice instead of just confronting their spouses and forcing dialouge if necessary. As a final thought I'm convinced that A couples wait for things to get "beyond help" before really addressing issues B That if any couples REALLY want to make it work and dedicate themselves to rebuilding a marriage it can work-Many just give up a lot easier then couples used to. It;'s a crying shame!

Answer 7

Well, things happen that causes divorce.....How would you feel if your hubby cheated on you, physically abused you then verbally abused you, Didn't pay any attention to you or the kids, and had an addiction with porn? You had also been to a christian counselor and also to your pastor for help but to no avail. Now, remind you..these are things that you knew nothing about when you were dating or during the first year of marriage? Would you stay with him? I didn't think so...That is why I am getting a divorce...Good Luck and God Bless!

Answer 8

I think u pretty much summed it up in your paragraph. Some people don't want to put in the work required to make their marriages last. It's easier for them to take each other for granted or walk out of their marriages when things are not going their way. They don't realize that the vows they made is something they're supposed to live by everyday, for the rest of their lives together...not when they find it's convenient for them to.

While I can understand wanting out of an abusive marriage, all the other things can be worked out if only they would put in the effort.

Answer 9

Marriage isn't what it used to be, for sure.

If a couple are not religious, then marriage is pretty much just a legal contract that binds two people to each other.

I know allot of people who have been through failed marriages. I think that allot of their problems where getting hitched for the wrong reasons. Pressure from family, pressure from society. It seems like when a couple get Bord, they get married. It's particularly ridiculous when marriage is seen as something that will resolve jealousy issues.

I am happily coupled with my soul mate who I intend to be with forever, but I do not feel that marriage is necessary to feel stability in my relationship, and I certainly don't need a certificate to serve as some kind of prove of the love we share.

I don't think people understand why they are getting married allot of the time. And I imagine it comes as a shock to allot of folks, when absolutely nothing about the relationship changes after the knot has been tied.

Answer 10

I'm happy!!! :)
The problem is that divorce has become way too convenient, just like everything else has.
Don't want to be married? Just divorce and get a new one. It's sickening. And the first answerer nailed it. God has been sprinkled on top instead of filling the core. No one wants to try, and they get married for the fantasy wedding day, whether it's the right person or not.
I agree with you, girl.