Ok here the deal. I met this great guy. When we first met we both agreed not to expect anything out of it. Neither one of us wanted a serious relationship it was just for fun. Well that didnt work for too long...we are now living together and getting married in April. I love him very much. Anyway I knew he smoked pot and didnt care at first because it wasnt suppose to go anywhere..now that we are serious together I dont want him to smoke pot. I have a 6 yr old daughter and I dont want it around her at all..period! Well at first he said he wouldnt bring itin the house but I have found it several times. This is the only thing we fight about...ever! I know some woman are being abused and I should be thankful for the great guy that I have but its something that I just dont agree with. He says he wants a better job but he cant get one because he cant pass a drug test. He also says that hes glad that he has someone that wants him to do better..so why do we fight when I say something?
2006-10-25 08:27:58 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You really need to start thinking about your daughter first and put your love for him and your emotions second. What's going to happen when he gets fired and can't get a job because he can't pass a drug test? You are going to end up supporting him and you will be taking from your daughter in the process.
Put your daughter and her best interest first.
2006-10-25 08:32:07 · answer #1 · answered by Royalhinney 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Obviously he has a problem. Most people think that "pot addiction" isn't real. Well they're wrong...it's VERY real. I ended a 4 yr. relationship because of the guys addiction to pot. He couldn't get a job cause he couldn't pass a test and if he was lucky enough to get a job that didn't require testing, he couldn't keep it for long cause he would rather stay up all night smoking and then sleep in till 2 p.m.
I don't think you're being controlling. You are just trying to help him out and no one in their right mind would want that stuff around their daughter. If this relationship is going to work, something needs to be done. If he is trying to stop and can't do it on his own, maybe he needs help. If he doesn't want to stop and will only agree to not bring it in the house but still sneaks it in, then your problems are going to continue. He'll always have a hard time getting a decent job.
2006-10-25 08:39:47 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
So a pot-head loser is the best you can do for a husband? Nice role model for the child, huh? And you think you should be thankful to have this loser?
I think your initial idea about this joke of a man was correct: " not to expect anything out of it."
Call off the wedding and move out until Bozo here cleans up his act. Maybe you don't mind living with a drug addict, but you daughter deserves better.
2006-10-25 08:35:54 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
lady you are being emotionally abused..he doesn't want to change he just wants to make you think he is trying..pot is unacceptable to be around a6 yo I do agree with you there but you allowed it when it wasn't serious which is not so good for you..you should not marry this man until you can have a resolution to this problem i don't believe you are being to controlling but you have allowed this situation to become what it is..if he is unwilling to not have the pot in the house and away from your daughter maybe you should consider what he loves more ..you and your daughter or POT??
2006-10-25 08:34:30 · answer #4 · answered by Alli 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are not being controlling, you really do care about your daughter and that is no offense. however, could you try other means of making him stop other than nag about it. you probably dont feel you nag but if it worries you that you might be controlling then maybe you should consider takling the issue another way. Am sure your man wants to stop and also cares about your girl but he might be addicted in which case it might take more effort to get him to stop.
whatever you do, dont let his habit affect your daughter and try not to lose him too. you will be the better for it.
good luck.
2006-10-25 08:38:48 · answer #5 · answered by joanne 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As much as you love this man he is not being respectful when you tell him to quit tell him to be clean or there will be no marriage if he wont quit now while you are engaged why would he quit after you get married more power to you for wanting to keep your daughter safe but if you marry this man while he is still on pot you are teaching her to accept it and that is why you are fighting with him he wont quit and you want him too hopefully before you say the I do 's he will be clean for himself and for your sake too
2006-10-25 08:32:25 · answer #6 · answered by AngelVirgo9206 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Postpone the wedding. If he can't stop tokin to pass a p test, then he's not ready for marriage. I don't have a problem with someone smoking pot UNLESS it interferes with ones livelihood.
Re-think the April date.
2006-10-25 08:46:43 · answer #7 · answered by Tonya L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you're being controlling, however you are expecting him to change and that never works. You should seriously reconsider your marriage plans. You don't want to lose your child over his inability to keep drugs out of the house. The smoking it is one thing, but bringing it home is dangerous and disrespectful to you. And, as far as the job situation, there are plenty of good jobs that don't require drug testing. He would find one of them if he really wanted to.
2006-10-25 08:32:11 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
That is a tough one.....
You have to love someone for all of their flaws....that is life. But if he wants your help getting straight, you got to put your foot down.
Tough love. Ask him how much you are worth to him or how bad he wants a better life/job. He needs to make some decisions.
2006-10-25 08:32:44 · answer #9 · answered by tightlies 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your both just screwed for life. Sounds like a good excuse for a group suicide....break out the poison pudding !
2006-10-25 08:33:15 · answer #10 · answered by powerful one 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋