I asked my mom 4 some money, now my husband is PISSED!?

Question

Ok, my husband got fired last week from a job (he was making 40k) that he'd been at 4 ten months. Because of our poor planning we did not save, now I'm full-time student. So he was taking care of us. Now I decided to go back to the workforce (I already have a degree), and I have an interview 2morrow with a big recruiting corporation and I have no professional suit. I called and asked my mom for 100 bucks for a suit. Now my husband is mad at me? All of my clothes including my slacks are too fitted and I have nothing that says "CORPORATE or PROFESSIONAL" so I have to impress this company. Was I wrong?????

Answer 1

YOU ARE NOT WRONG. YOUR HUSBAND IS JUST LETTING HIS EGO GET THE BEST OF HIM. SOMETIMES WE ALL NEED HELP.

Answer 2

Have to think like a male sometimes to understand a male.

He could be feeling "unmanly" that he is not able to provide to his wife anymore. Most guys like that structure of being able to work, provide and not have someone else doing it. Doesn't want people to know fiancial whoas at the moment either.

As someone else said: Asking for help is moving you two forward. What you need to do is ask your mom if you can borrow and repay back.

As you two realize now saving is the best decision you two can make.

He just needs to go back and look for another job. Encourage that things will get better and he will find something he will like. Then make plans to save next time. Open up a savings account and place at least $100-200 a pay check in it. Then regular checking is to do bills and all. The savings is strictly a savings incase of situations like this.

Watch what you two spend. I know I sometimes like to pamper myself with expensive coffee or splurg for a nice fitting pants that are like $30 instead of $10. But, $100 for a suit doesn't always have to be that high. I find very nice suits for $50. Shop around. That extra $50 doesn't have to be spent.

Answer 3

My MIL have butted heads over similar situations. It helped me just to realize that she's older and probably dissatisfied at the way her life has turned out. She's unhappy and has difficulty dealing with it, so she comes across as bitter, jealous and resentful. It sounds like you're trying not to be offended by her comments; that's good. She won't be around forever and she is the mother of your husband, so she must have done something right, yes? Let her know how much you appreciate how she raised her son to be the perfect man for you. In short, look for the positives and try to make her feel loved and appreciated. (That's what we all want, isn't it?) Fake it until you learn to see past her faults to her soul as a needy, imperfect human being. She's older and will be facing her own mortality soon. I'm sure she'd just like to know that she's loved and her life (as miserable as it may seem to you) somehow mattered and meant something. If possible, do something nice for her every now and then to meet one of the needs you say she has: help fix up her house or buy her some groceries, etc. Solicit the help of your brother/sister-in-laws, too. Sounds like she works very hard and has little to show for it. If you help make her life more pleasant, you'll also help her realize that she's loved and appreciated and that's the point. ADDITIONAL INFO: Envy is a deadly sin, but be careful when judging this situation because pride is a sin, too. As a matter of fact, I believe that virtually every form of sin can be traced back to pride. STILL MORE: When we're taught to "take pride in our work," what is meant is to do the task competently and with integrity, not to be puffed up and boastful about the great job we've just done. There's a difference in the underlying meaning.

Answer 4

As long as you intend to pay mom back-no you were not wrong. Men have an ego thing. My husband would stand in front of a train before he'd ask his or my parents for help financially- it's just how good men are. He feels guilty that you had to ask her- but he'll get over it. And let HIM be the one that hands her the money when he pays her back- it'll make him feel better, I think.

Answer 5

It should have been a mutual decision. A man's pride is an easily damaged and tough to repair item.

Notice, I am the only man responding so far. Even though these women think your husband shouldn't care, he does. Apologize and include him on any future loans from family.

Answer 6

I would probably be angry if my husband did that without discussing it with me first. It isn't always the issue of a bruised ego or whatever. It is the fact that you are opening up your joint, personal, financial business to others without consulting your husband. Mixing inlaws with your finances, no matter how well-meaning they are, is usually not a good idea. Now you have opened up your relationship to criticism--"Why are they buying that when they had to borrow $100?"...that sort of thing.

Answer 7

No, I don't think so. Your husband probably just has a bruised ego. First you have to ask for money that he should be providing and it's for a job that more than likely will see you bringing in more money than he was. I'd feel stink too.

Answer 8

Nope. My parents do all kinds of stuff for me. My husband does not care, he reaps the benefits too.

Your husband is just being a big baby because he lost his job.

Good luck tomorrow and I hope you get a great job.

Answer 9

No you weren't wrong. However, I understand how your husband feels. He is ashamed that you would have to go to your mom. He is feeling like he has let you down. You need to reassure him that you love him. Explain to him why you felt you had to borrow the money and apologize to him for hurting his feelings!

Answer 10

He is just upset because He was Not able to provide for you and He is offended. Really we are all over grown children. Just tell him that you are sorry and that you didn't mean to make him feel less of a man. Because that was not your intentions.

Answer 11

we men pride ourselves on our ability to provide for our families, anything that happens to where we feel like poor providers,will make us a little upset,as it makes us feel like failures, loosing his job was damaging enough to his pride ,borrowing money was like salt in the wound. He will get over it just know that he more mad at himself than you.