i am married and have 2 children and my mother has interfeared so many times it has always caused trouble with my husband and myself. she hates him and doesn't mind telling him. we got so bad my husband and i have split up for w hile and trying to work things out. but everytime we almost secceed she stars in again. I thought ok maybe she just don't like him but my brother got married about a year ago and now she hates his wife too. she always puts me down when i'm trying best i can. she babysits for me and i pay her to watch my kids but she's so bossy i get cused out for working over at work cause she is ready to go. She hasn't worked in 27 years and has no idea what it is like trying to be a full time mother and work 42+ hours a week. Yet she always tells me what a piece of crap i am. can anyone give me any helpful advice?
2006-10-25 08:02:54 · 9 answers · asked by littlered 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
she may have giving you brith but she is not your mother
a mother does not abuse her child like that
Time to cut the cord
1- get someone else to baby sat the children
2- visit her for 10 minute 1 day a week only if you want to
invite her over when she can behave and if she wants to know why you are acting that way tell her your feeling
3- make thing work with your husband
4- make sure that you learn not to be like her for your children sake
Good luck
2006-10-25 08:10:51 · answer #1 · answered by waiting for baby 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell her you want her to leave you alone.
If that doesn't work, you can move to another city without leaving a forwarding address at the post office, but notify your bill companies, magazines, etc. At your new home sign up for an unlisted phone number so she can't find it in the phone directory or get it from the phone company. If she does get the number, make sure you have caller ID and don't answer when she calls. Keep records if she does call as to time, date, etc. Have the phone company also put anonymous call blocking on your line so she can't call from pay phones, etc. Have the PUC (Public Utilities Commission) put a free block on your line so that when you call out, your number isn't given out.
The only way she can find you then is if she hires a private detective to search you out. That will cost her some money.
I know it is a pain to do, but your mom won't find you for a long time unless she hires a detective to find you. Then you tell her you will take legal action against her in a post office registered letter with a return receipt (Keeping a copy for your file) so you could have her arrested for harassing you. After that, she should leave you alone. If she doesn't you have grounds for legal action since you tried to avoid contact with her and told her not to bother you.
2006-10-25 15:27:53 · answer #2 · answered by Captain Cupcake 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK first is this my sister?? Just kidding but I have a mom who is VERY controlling. My sister handles this so well. She says " Mom I love you but this is my life & we don't need nor want your opinions" If your behavior continues we will have no choice but to cut you out of our lives & you will not be able to see your grandchildren. THE CHOICE IS YOURS. My mom will then back off but of course not for long & then my sis will say the same thing. Could you maybe tell her that you don't need her babysitting services(even if you do) just for a day? That might wake her up. Also I know that when my sister brings up the other grandmother that drives my mom nuts & she'll keep quiet for a while
2006-10-25 15:15:54 · answer #3 · answered by gitsliveon24 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow I think it is time to disown your mother.
She has phycological issues.
Once u r married u r your own person and have
your own life to live.
Mom should not be allowed in the picture.
I recommend u keep a distance and only come to see her
on special occassions and holidays.
Also find yourself another baby sitter so she will not feel burdened.
If she insist on interfering with your life put a restraining order
on her. This kind of behaviour is bad for the kids.
Think about them.
2006-10-25 15:15:03 · answer #4 · answered by Curious 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Look for a better baby sitter. may be she is tired of her age or illness Or something else.but y u let her to interfere in ur family matters? Even though she is ur mother don't disscuss or let her know everything that happens in ur life. And above all think it what u'll do if she is not around u.
2006-10-25 15:14:09 · answer #5 · answered by anks 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I realize your mother helps you out by babysitting and sometimes, maybe by just being there. However, It may be best to put mom in check and let her know that although you value her opinion to please keep her mouth shut unless you ask. When you get married, you leave your parents home to become one with your spouse and it sounds like mom doesn't understand that. Let her know and find a new babysitter. Your family is yours , so you must love them but nowhere does it say we must like them, agree with them, or humor them to the point of our own demise or unhappiness. It seems like she doesn't mind hurting your feelings and by no means am I saying to be mean and hurt her out of spite, but you are an adult and you need to tell her so in no uncertain terms. Mom, I love you, back off!!!
2006-10-25 15:14:17 · answer #6 · answered by adearman2226 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You don't need that in your life, and your children don't need to see or here it. Just because she is your mother doesn't give her the right to talk to you that way and only you can change it. You claim you pay her, then you can pay someone else who would be more suitable that won't belittle you in front of your children.
2006-10-25 15:24:55 · answer #7 · answered by HereweGO 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell Mom to mind her own business & find someone else to watch the kids !
2006-10-25 15:10:18 · answer #8 · answered by Geedebb 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get her out of there. And get your self a baby sitter.
2006-10-25 15:08:24 · answer #9 · answered by Alisha 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋