I'm in a bad situation; I've been married over 17 years. I have known a male friend for about 2 yrs. He has been coming over our house for about a year. He knew my husband first, now he is more my friend than his. He just married a girlfriend he has been living with for about 12 years two months ago. They have a 12 yr. old. He has told me that he doesn't trust her because she cheated on him two years ago. He said that he isn't in love with her, and they have nothing in common. He didn't tell me that he got married, another friend told me. When I ask him about it, he said that he forgot, and he only married her for the children. He has never shown us any pictures of his family. What do you make of this. I have feelings for him, but I have never told him, nor has he come out and told me that he has any feelings for me. Please tell my what you think, and what would you do in this situation.
2006-10-25 07:59:23 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
You’re not in a bad situation, you're just teetering on making a very bad decision. Let's look at what you're saying in your message. You've known this guy for 2 years and both you and your husband consider him a friend, but he "forgot" to tell you he got married two months ago to a woman he says he doesn't love and doesn't have anything in common with...but he's been with her for 12 years and they've had kids for 12 years, and after not having anything in common for those 12 years and having raised the kid for 12 years he got married "for the kids"? COME ON! Are you serious? That is such a lame lie, on his part, that you can't possibly take him seriously. What THAT story is saying VERY loudly is, "I am a CHEAT and a LIAR". Lady, if you want to bang this guy and risk your 17 year marriage, by all means, go right ahead, but just stick to lying to your husband and don't lie to yourself. You said you had "feelings" for him, I just hope those "feelings" are just the tingling between your legs. If you and this "just for the kids" guy ended up in a relationship I can promise you within two months of you trashing your 17 year marriage to be with this guy, he'll be out pitching some lame BS to some other woman and taking advantage of her "feelings" too.
If he'll cheat WITH you he'll cheat ON you. So again, if you go into this dangerous fling with him just be sure to do it with your eyes open knowing it's just a sexual thing. And by all means if you decide to cheat at LEAST practice safer sex because your husband doesn't deserve to be exposed to whatever bugs this "friend" of his might be carrying around.
I guess I've pretty much shot myself in the foot with respect to being selected as your "best answer" huh?
2006-10-25 08:00:55 · answer #1 · answered by ScubaGuy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How can he foget that he was married???? He is saying that he doesn't trust his wife because she cheated on him two years ago, but yet he is up in your face talking about he didn't remember being married. That fact aside, he is talking about not loving his wife etc etc....which is bogus. He has been with this woman for 12 yrs???? He sounds like he has much drama, and given his already retarded display of emotions towards his wife, why would you even want to be bothered with him in the first place? IF he is willing to marry someone he doesn't love, and still be in your face.. how could you trust him??? Please, ditch him, because he probably isn't your friend at all.
2006-10-25 15:23:42 · answer #2 · answered by prettydebutante 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're married! What do you mean you "have feelings for him"?
You should cut off all communications with this guy and deal with the problems in your own marriage. If you don't want to be married then get a divorce. Then you can act on your feelings for this other man.
2006-10-25 15:06:06 · answer #3 · answered by kransdorff 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
how can you forget about being married? You've explained a lot about him and his life but what about yours? Are you happy or are you trying to find a way out by cheating on your spouse? Think about what your relationship (with your husband) lacks now that is driving you to possibly cheat and if it can't be fixed I suggest you move on.
2006-10-25 15:03:01 · answer #4 · answered by Dick Tater 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he sounds like a liar, don't trust Him. also, ur only interested physically, it's not Real. .if it was, u'd be like "he's wonderful, so kind, sweet, he is very honest..." instead, he's a jerk and ur just lusting over someone more exciting or paying more attention to u =T... i say try working on making ur Marriage more exciting, or get a divorce. don't cheat, and don't lose a husband over a loser. at least make a divorce worth it, geeez!
2006-10-25 15:07:20 · answer #5 · answered by sasmallworld 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He forgot he was married? yeah right! Don't trust him any farther than you could throw him, he's only out for a fling and you're his target at the moment. Stick with your husband!
2006-10-25 15:05:17 · answer #6 · answered by tom_nearhood 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like a shady character, I'd forget about thses 'feelings' you have for him and focus on the empire of a marriage that you have built over 17 years. Just let it be, it only sounds like trouble to me.
2006-10-25 15:03:34 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like he wants to cheat on his wife and have sex with you...Sounds like you want to cheat on your husband and have sex with the new guy....
Sounds like you are trying to justify the deed to ease your conscience.....
Sounds like you two cheaters would be perfect for each other...
Of course, neither of you could ever trust the other....
2006-10-25 15:04:38 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
honesty is the best foundation of any relationship esp.those who are in love. If he cant be honest with you about his marriage, think again about falling in love with him.
2006-10-25 15:07:44 · answer #9 · answered by amour 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋