A man and I started talking about the possibility of having a friends with benefits relationship. We both are out of a relationship and are not ready for another committed relationship, not ready to date. I am enjoying just being me.
Before I made up my mind I wanted to know how many other people he is currently sleeping with. He said he didn't want to answer that and he doesn't kiss and tell. I told him I didn't want to know who there were but wanted to know if it was one or two or many. I don't think my question was unreasonable and for some reason it would make a difference to me if he had many many friends. Was my question improper in a friends with benefits relationship?
2006-10-25 07:56:15 · 15 answers · asked by coolstreem 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
No. That is a fair question. Did you tell him how many people you are sleeping with? A lot of the time friends with benefits end badly. One person will get attached and the other won't. Imagine this... you are enjoying the benefits and he is doing it with another girl. You start to get attached to him, but he is getting attached to the other girl. Someone's going to get hurt. Friends with benefits can work, but only if you are the only one he's benefiting. Good Luck!
2006-10-25 08:01:18 · answer #1 · answered by denverbroncos1973 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would just say nicely to him over the telephone..."i do not want to be in this "friends with benefits" anymore"...if he asks why? which (stupid men do)...just say..."i do not know, how many people you are sleeping with and it could cause a lot of problems for me...such as std's...and worst case scenerio AIDS..."...then just say.."I've got to go!!!" and then hang up...and if he keeps calling you ....do NOT answer the telephone...i am sure you have caller ID to tell who is calling....after 6 months of trying to get a hold of you he'll just give up and move on....i have had trouble with guys also...they are a pain...Your question was reasonable...you just wanted to know HOW MANY he was sleeping with.?...i thing he is scum....Get him out of your life...
2006-10-25 15:03:06 · answer #2 · answered by sweet 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you are going to just be friends with benifits, you shouldn't care how many other people he's sleeping with unless...
you are concerned about health risks, which is smart of you. tell him thats why you want to know, and also let him know it's suspitious that he wouldn't give you a straight answer the first time. if he still comes up with excuses, there might be something wrong with the situation (if he won't be honest with you, why would you share your body with him? its not like you want him to name names)
trust is vital in a sexual relationship, and its vital in a friendship. friends with benifits still means friends. otherwise you are just a booty call, which is fine if you want just sex, no friendship, and only contact when you are actually sleeping together.
hope this helps, stay true to what your mind and body want!
2006-10-25 15:07:55 · answer #3 · answered by jumpoutjane 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The way i look at this I would be a little Iffy if a woman couldnt tell me how many Friends with benefits she has, I personally would be up front about it just for the fact that if he has alot of them who's to say he isnt going to catch something
2006-10-25 15:01:06 · answer #4 · answered by Jeremy F 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he's got mutiple friends with benefits. I've done that before - the guy was 15 years older then me (I was 21 at the time) but we were both only seeing each other and no one else. This guy wants as much as he can get -- don't agree to it. He'll find someone else who will.
2006-10-25 15:00:54 · answer #5 · answered by Rachel 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want to know how many other friends he has, then be straight up front and tell him how many you have then he'll open and tell you what you want to know. Friends with benefits can work as long as both persons know what the other wants and expects.
2006-10-25 15:15:23 · answer #6 · answered by "N"saysable 1iric 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not at all considering that he may infect you with a std. I had the same relationship with someone and asked the same question. I was told the same answer too. So I told him that we were not going to proceed with the relationship any farther until I knew a number. He told me all...but that didn't help.
I ended the friendship yesterday...F w/B don't work. Don't do it!!!!
2006-10-25 15:01:20 · answer #7 · answered by blue_eyed_soul_woman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are being intimiate with someone you most certainly can ask whatever you wish. He on the other hand may feel that since you all are not in a relationship you don't have the right to inquire about his activities with other women.
2006-10-25 15:06:40 · answer #8 · answered by travelingcuti 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not at all unreasonable. Most importantly, you need to be sure that he's not going to give you an STD.
I have a friends with benefits relationship just now (met her online, actually). Works out great. Best of luck to you.
2006-10-25 15:00:29 · answer #9 · answered by Sheik Yerbouti 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's not a good idea..
YOU might see him just as a FWB but later on your start having feelings toward them especially if ya'll hang out sometimes and tell each other things..
your gonna end up getting hurt..
2006-10-25 15:01:42 · answer #10 · answered by ♥LOVE♥ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋