My fiance and I had some argument yesterday. If some body can tell me who is write and who is wrong. He wants me to work after marriage which i understand. That was one thing. And then he said because my family dont have many freinds and relative. He said how come we dont have so many so i told him, no my dad have some freinds but i dont know why he have some of this kind of issues in his mind. Then he said i (mean my self)
dont have any savings so i need to listen to him and pay my credit cards in a manner (honestly i am trying my best since i have tow jobs) Then he said, he dont want me to come california from dallas once we get married to see my mom often, and he is afraid of my attachment to my mom and he said who will take care of her. I told him my dad will. I also told him i will buy my own tickets if i need to. So i dont know i got really upset and told him you think one more time about marriage and I shut my cell phone since then. I dont know Is he is write?
2006-10-25 07:54:26 · 7 answers · asked by Alisha 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
So more i try to please him he wants me to do more for him. I love him. I dont want to break it. Both families are preparing for our wedding. I dont know what to do.
2006-10-25 07:55:50 · update #1
He's showing a lot of signs of being abusive. Controlling your money and isolating you from family and friends. If it was me, I'd delay getting married until these things are worked out. (Actually, I wouldn't marry the guy, he's scary.)
2006-10-25 07:58:50 · answer #1 · answered by nursesr4evr 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know one of the first things a man does when he is an abuser is to get the girl as far away from her parents as he can. Then he says she cant go and visit them as often as she wants. And he starts to tell her what to do(like how to pay your bills). And then it can escalate into more and more controlling attitudes. Your boyfriend should be glad you have a good relationship with your Mom not complaining because you care about her. My own opinion is to be really careful here he sounds kinda controlling to me. I will add also that when you try and try to please him and nothing works thats because he wants to control you a really confident man would be pleased and let you know he was.
2006-10-25 15:01:04 · answer #2 · answered by elaeblue 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, there is a fine line between "controlling someone" and breaking the mother/child bond. I would agree that once you get married, you should consider yourself as grown up as you can be. Your mother will continue to treat you like a child (subconsciously even) because that is the relationship she has with you. Over time that will change, but your husband sounds like he is just trying to help you to grow up and accept some of the financial responsibilities that will be yours when you are married.
2006-10-25 14:59:42 · answer #3 · answered by jeepguy_2x 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men have a tendency to worry about money more than women. I think its just built into them to be money conscientious. I wouldn't say that either one of you is right or wrong...you just have different views. He is stressed about financial things, hence he wants you to work, pay off debt, etc. If you love him then talk to him and try to work it out. Good communication is the key to a successful marriage.
2006-10-25 15:03:20 · answer #4 · answered by Rochelle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No... Hes not right. He shouldnt try and keep you from your family. This is an over possessive man and if he is like that now, expect that he will be 10 times worse when you marry.
2006-10-25 14:57:15 · answer #5 · answered by Angel Eve 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The trailor sux, the movie must be boring, However, i dont know anything much to comment.
2006-10-25 14:59:30 · answer #6 · answered by vio_prince 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he's trying to control you
2006-10-25 14:58:02 · answer #7 · answered by S 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋