and my husband. He recently got her involved with a company that he is starting. Now, she is beginning, once again, to take over our lives. He is a very powerful, take-charge guy, but has never, ever been able to stand up to her and would not support me if I did. She abandoned him as a child for her career, leaving him with others for weeks at a time while she traveled, and lived as she pleased. My husband takes the anger that he feels for her, out on me. He refuses to confront her. Any advice? Thanks in advance!!!
2006-10-25 07:52:37 · 15 answers · asked by Lanna b 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Have you ever asked your hubby to not take anger toward his mother out on you - why do you even allow him to treat you in that manner? From now on I would refuse to even go down that road with him and tell him you are done having the same argument time & time again. Do you really need his support to stand up to his mother, or are you confident enough to do it on your own?
If he asked her to become involved in a start-up company, then it seems to me he welcomes her input and advice, and has "given her his ok" to take over your lives. She'll be involved financially, socially and personally. He obviously thinks its ok whether you like it or not. Your husband is behaving selfishly.
Best of luck to you in this situation. It is not enviable by any means. I hope you can work it out.
2006-10-25 08:09:54 · answer #1 · answered by life made better thru chemistry 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't really confront her yourself if he won't support you if you did because that would just cause resentment from him. I think that you should point out to him that his issues are with her and not with you and for ya'll to ever be happy and have her in your life he HAS to sit and talk with her and let her know the feelings he has had for so long. Now if she is trying to run your life as well, (such as raising kids, your home, your bills,) then you have every right to tell her that you don't appreciate the way she tries to control you too. After all, she isn't YOUR mother!
2006-10-25 07:58:42 · answer #2 · answered by Aryka S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well talk to her about it! Tell her that she is welcome to visit but leave YOUR house hold alone or she wont be welcomed. Some times you just got to put your foot down. And sometimes you cant rely on your husband. take a small vaction without your husband or tell him your not happy. Or the best thing to do is move. Not to far just about five hours away from her. So you can still see her and your family but she cant just show up either.
2006-10-25 08:00:01 · answer #3 · answered by Angel 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, sit him down and tell him you are no longer going to put up with his misplaced anger. What you have is a Mama's boy. So you either put up with it since he refuses to tell her that the two of you need your own life, or you move on and find someone with a great mother like I did.
2006-10-25 07:57:50 · answer #4 · answered by phoenixheat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Counseling
2006-10-25 08:19:02 · answer #5 · answered by FF Geek 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Need some more info! How exactly is she taking over your lives?
At any rate, if you are certain he wouldn't support you and would choose his mother over you, then I'd say you have a bigger fish to fry.
2006-10-25 07:57:07 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
For starters, tell your hubby if he has an issue with his mother, to not take it out on you because you have nothing to do with it and he needs to address his anger toward his mother, not you.
2006-10-25 08:05:28 · answer #7 · answered by Simply Lovely 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like you are married to a mama's boy . forget it ,he will never stand up to her . However that does not mean that you cant . Do it wheather he supports it or not . Who cares? Believe me you will feel much better when you do finally do it . I mean let it all out. good luck and god bless.
2006-10-25 07:57:07 · answer #8 · answered by Kate T. 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sound to me that your mother-in-law needs a man of here own and your man needs plenty of space away from Mom….so help her… look if you can’t beat them join them. Become her best friend dig deep, look if she continues this way you’re going to blow your top. You need to get deep in her head and change things.. its up to you kid.
2006-10-25 08:08:32 · answer #9 · answered by Mike D 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he won't stand up to her and won't support you if you do, and takes his anger towards her out on you ...... HONEY (!) why are you still there?
I don't even think counseling would help this marriage!
Leave while you still have your sanity.
2006-10-25 07:57:09 · answer #10 · answered by MyPreshus 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋