Is there a web site that gives advice on how to split up with the minimum of trouble? I'd need to move out, but can't afford to pay a big mortgage and a rent. Would I have to live for 2 years like that before I could get a divorce. I have 3 kids (18 1/2, 15,13) and don't want their education or residence disrupted. Clearly and unfortunately it will impact on their lives though. Where can I find somewhere that tells me how the kids are impacted emotionally and what's best to do? Please no wisecracks on don't do it and you won't have this trouble. This is serious.
2006-10-25 07:49:28 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
There is no one way to divorce. You plan it all out to a tee, and at some point along the way it will get destroyed. The children will get hurt no matter what. Just go fourth with it and except the consequences.
2006-10-25 07:56:18 · answer #1 · answered by lifescircle 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes, letting go seems like the easiest thing to do. But think about this: you've invested so much of your time and energy into another person; you've made a solemn promise; and you still know there's love, even if it's hiding underneath the surface. This website will show you how to save a marriage and avoid divorce, even if you're the only one trying https://tr.im/yxS7o
2015-01-28 12:38:45 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm in a similar situation with a 10 year old son. I don't think there are any websites that can tell us in advance how our children will be effected but many of them have good advice.
Unfortunately all the websites I know of that talk about this are in Icelandic so they wouldn't be of any help to you.
I think the most important thing is to make sure that the children are never put in the middle and that they won't think the divorce is their fault. I still haven't figured out how to tell my son about this and I know he will be very hurt.
Maybe we should start a chat group :)
2006-10-25 07:58:49 · answer #3 · answered by IC 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
singleagain.com I used to visit a lot one time. The thing is you will be your best adviser about how to do things. You are obviously a good mum and clever woman to wish to minimise the effects on your children. Looking at their ages, I feel that they would really understand you and your reasons to end the marriage. Even though you fell in love with another man, at their age they must know how it would feel like to date some one you don't love. So they wouldn't force you to stay in this marriage.
2006-10-28 03:04:35 · answer #4 · answered by better late than never 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing you can do to make this easier on anyone involved. I thought I was going to be fair and make my divorce as easy as possible on everyone, but my husband is not cooperating. Even if you do everything you can it is going to be a messy, ugly battle. We are going to separate therapists to help us with the emotional aspects of the divorce and my kids are seeing counselors as well. Its funny because alll four of my kids, ages 17, 14, 8, & 5, are more emotionally ready for this divorce, yet the soon-to-be is not. He is making it harder for them to deal with by trying to put them in the middle and constantly putting me down, blaming and belittling me. Just be strong, save your pennies, and let your kids know that they are more important than the divorce itself.
2006-10-25 07:58:02 · answer #5 · answered by sad1199 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm very pleased that you have considered the effect this will have upon the children i think the best thing would be to sit them down with both of you together as they are slightly older they are aware that your marriage has got its issues remember to tell them that you both still love them but that you and your partner don't love each other. And also that they are most welcome in seeing either parent whenever they want to. remind them that you will still both be there for all of them the only difference will be that one of you won't be living in the family home. All the best I hope it goes relatively smoothly.
2006-10-25 07:59:10 · answer #6 · answered by missree 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I am going through the same thing except my children are quite a bit younger 4,3,20 months. I am looking for the same information so i shall be keeping an eye on this question. Good luck for the future!
2006-10-25 07:52:39 · answer #7 · answered by jules 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
JCP's have lone parent advisors who will give you info on what kind of benefits/help you can get. Though it will be dependant on your income. Id say the best thing is to come to mutual agreement about residence & access tho the kids- going to court wouldnt help!
2006-10-25 07:53:44 · answer #8 · answered by Sneaky 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2006-10-29 01:44:55 · answer #9 · answered by Krishna 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know any good web sites or anything but I would say the most important thing for you to do is put your children first and your hurt and anger second.
Don't bad mouth your x in front of them. Keep in mind they are made up of the two of you and if one part of them is thought of as "bad" they will feel that they too must be bad. So please, please, please keep their feeling first in your mind. Even when your mad!
2006-10-25 07:56:10 · answer #10 · answered by raygun1993 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋