How can I make my mom understand?

Question

I am 13 and my mom hates me doing what I want with my style. She wants to complain because I choose to wear clothes that aren't REVEALING, but don't make me look 30 pounds heavier, and I choose to wear side bangs that occasionally cover my eye. She attacks anything I do different, from me drawing X's on my hands (sXe) to the colors I wear. I honestly crave to tell her that it's not HER hair or HER body or HER eye or HER hands, but I don't want to be that spoiled. I don't act angry towards her or anything until she starts complaining about what I like to do. My dad's even bragged about how I do as I'm told. But I really like the way I look and the way I do things now and I don't want to change it. I mean, at least I'm not out doing drugs, smoking, and drinking! What can I do?

The "X" does not mean "sex". I am not that type of person. I don't degrade myself like that.

Answer 1

I don't see anything wrong with what you want to do. Have you told her nicely how much this means to you? Sit down and talk to her like a friend, not like a daughter! haha. what does (sXe) mean? Does it have a meaning? Atleast your not getting tats and piercings and drinking and drugs like you said. Did you try talking to your dad about this? I think if you are such a good kid you deserve some respect too. Good luck sweetie!

Answer 2

Continue to use your style to identify yourself with. Sounds like your mom may have forgotten what it is like to be a young kid. Everyone I knew when they were young and the ones that are young today dress in ways that their parents disapprove of, that's the generation gap. When I was younger a lot of young girls would actually bring another set of clothes with them and change either at a friends house or a washroom before they went out so as not to fight with their folks. It's hard to believe but when you have a 13 year old you'll probably not agree with how she does her hair or dresses either. Keep up the healthy lifestyle but be you is all I would recommend. And talk with your mom maturely and tell her that your just trying to be fashionable and feel good about yourself.

Answer 3

As a mom to a daughter who was (still is) very much like yourself it is soooo hard. On many different levels. First off just remember that your mom wants the very best for you and she thinks that if you express yourself in ways that aren't appealing to the every day joe that people will be judgemental and think poorly of you. Truthfully what you are doing isn't bad it's the world we live in that causes us the problems. Try to be understanding of your mom and come to a happy medium where you can express yourself in a way that makes you feel comfortable but not in a way that upsets your mom.

Answer 4

So...how do you dress?

As for the bangs, I dont see what the big deal is on that one. Maybe she is just one of those moms that think you have a beautiful face and should show it?
And for the hand thing...looks to be like it says "sex" and if my 13 year old daughter had that on her hand, I would be a little angry with her as well.

Answer 5

Tell her exactly what you wrote on here. Show her how blessed she is to have a daughter with personality. Tell her that she did a great job with you, that you won't forget the principles she taught you, that she can trust you, and that you are a very obedient daughter.

I am not a parent myself, but I am a daughter, and I can tell you that mums can get very worried and anxious as soon as their little babies are changing into adults.

You seem to me like a very reasonnable teenager, who shows a lot of respect towards her parents. Let her the time to get used it. Poor mum, she is losing her little baby :o)

Answer 6

You just answered your own question....... tell your mom what you just typed in the last six sentences maybe she will understand . As for the sXe i am guessing it says sexy no big deal thats how you feel about yourself!
I am a mother of 6 and believe me i ahve been there done that with my kids and i have learnt to listen to and not judge my kids.

Answer 7

i admire that u do as your told. u mentioned the word spoiled, are you. bcuz if u are and you still do as ur told, then i wish there where more young teens like you. evn if ur not. i still wish there where more teens like u, who do as they are told. as for helping her to understand. have u tried to sit down and talk with her. one thing parents forget to understand as when they where young is that any style represents as a statement and the way we feel about ourselves. ask u mom "when u dress up nice and pretty" (hopefully she does so that u can ask this question) "how do u feel" let her think of this and then by responding "well the way i dress is how i feel." u will go through different styles as u grow older and as long as ur chest and "stuff" isn't exposed then i'm not sure of their reasons. ask ur mom about her style. ur dad too. they might find it interesting that u ask.- maliki

Answer 8

Keep doing what your doing you sound like a great kid with cool style. My mom was the same way and now that I am grown with my own kids she is still the same way. So if I tried to please her it never would have worked because she would never have been happy with anything I did. So save yourself the waste of time and continue being you.

Answer 9

Survive five more years... turn eighteen and do what you want with your life. Problem is, so long as you're not supporting yourself... even if you mother is being a little... insane... you really can't do much about it because if she really wanted to she could take it all away. But I'm sorry your mother doesn't understand you - you sould like a very cool kid. ^_^

Answer 10

Drawing on your hands is stupid..why do..especially why do it if you know it bothers your mom?? As for the hair..if you are hiding behind your hair there is a reason. And your mom is your mom, her rules should be followed if you like them or not. You sound like a brat.