I have been with my wife for 8 years and married for 5. We have a 6 year old daughter and a 4 year old son. about 2.5 years ago my wife had questioned her love for me. I felt it was just a phase and I really wasnt being the best husband and showing her attention she needed. So we talked about it I really wanted to stay together at this point I really realized how much I loved her and was willing to do anything to work it out. In the end we moved to another state closer to her family thinking this would help. So we have been here and I am thinking all is well we had an active sex life and she showed affection towards me as I did her. About a week ago I noticed her being distant like she was when she questioned her love for me.3 days ago she tells me she is feeling that way again.she stopped telling me she loved me since and we have not been affectionate.she went with here sister to a bar previous fri. I feel she may have had mixed feelingsbut had a good time at barand is confused
2006-10-25 06:52:00 · 16 answers · asked by Confused 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If you still love her and want to work it out, try to convince her to go to counseling with you.
2006-10-25 06:55:39 · answer #1 · answered by mstrywmn 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello! Welcome to the world of marriage! It is soooo hard! I'm sorry you are going through this, but it is normal.
You need to go to marriage counceling with your wife! She needs to keep herself out of the bar scene, and focus on the importance of keeping her family together. However, if you say those words to her, she will only get angry!
I have been married for 18 years, and everyday is a challenge to say the least! I am 36 now, but when I was in my twenties I would forever wonder if I was "missing out" on something. Partially it was out of boredom and partially it was my own insecurity.
I would not suggest a seperation at this point! You need to stay together as a family and work through these issues! Good luck to you! Hang in there!!
2006-10-25 07:12:02 · answer #2 · answered by Kailey 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To offer "space" is a green light for barhopping and casual sex.
Her emotional yo-yo is affecting your life as well, not to mention the children. It may be time to quit trying anything to work it out and put your foot down regarding her behavior. If she is confused lend her direction. Marriage requires commitment to love and affection. The on again off again program is destructive to everyone. Pull in the reins and limit her opportunities to stray. A resistance to that will indicate a wish to separate which sadly is the course you may be on.
2006-10-25 07:26:08 · answer #3 · answered by Flagger 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have 2 kids who need a mother and father together. i suggest you go to marital counseling, either with a licensed therapist, or at your church.
"Feelings" come and go in a marriage. Some days (or weeks or months) you are crazy about your partner, other times you hit rough patches and they drive you up the wall. I think you both could use a few sessions with someone older and wiser to help you understand commitment and sacrifice and how to ride out the rough patches.
2006-10-25 07:01:10 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hold on to her, but give her space. She is probably just going through a phase. But make sure she knows you are available to her. Let her go out and have fun. Most likely she will realize again how much you mean to her. If not then you shouldn't be with her anyways. Just give her some time to sort out her feelings.
2006-10-25 07:00:40 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
damn same situation i was in.been together 9 yrs got 2 kids. i to started going out the clubs and bars and started having fun.i ended up leaving him, and he was just miserable, thats when he realized how much he loved me. but i didnt care and left the state with the kids back down south.after i had my fun i realized i loved him but it was to late.he moved on. i regreted everything..8 months later i moved back determined we would get back together and we did. now we are happily married.we dont bring up anything that happend bcuz it hurts us both.but i think u should u give her space.now if she is treating u like crap or cheating leave her. u will get tired of it and eventually move on (like my husband)and she might come around and realize what she had.(like me) good luck with everything.i went thru alot to realize my family comes first.we were just too young when got together and i grew apart from him.im 27 and he is 28.But dont hold back from having fun
2006-10-25 07:08:45 · answer #6 · answered by Moniluv 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like she is bothered by melancholy. There could be a chemical reason she's feeling this way and he or she ought to get appeared at with the help of a counselor. exceedingly if she would not understand why she feels this way and he or she will't get out of it. It sounds like some thing it is out of her administration. while she gets back this evening i might communicate together with her and see in case you adult males won't be able to get into some marriage counseling. tell her you need to flow jointly yet while she desires to commence out with the help of herself to perhaps get some issues off her chest that she will't inform you than you would be wonderful with that too.
2016-10-02 22:54:57 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, give a little space but dont lose focus, keep your family. since you live by her family ,have them babysit and start from scratch and take her on dates , tell her you love her and she is the best thing ever that happen to you . send her flowers candy etc... overcome her not being certin with lots of love....
2006-10-25 06:59:14 · answer #8 · answered by stevie869 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My advice would be to give her space. Keep in touch, and then start wooing her again just like when you first met.I believe this is what she wants. Try this and I bet you win her back. If it happens again in the future, I would tell her, enough is enough.
2006-10-25 06:58:38 · answer #9 · answered by drummer4justus 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there must be a reason why she's like this, is she depressed or upset about something ?
have you tried to see a marriage counselor ? I think that
would help, good luck
2006-10-25 07:00:14 · answer #10 · answered by start 6-22-06 summer time Mom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋