How can I make my mom understand?

Question

My mom seems to want me to be a carbon copy of her. She piles herself in clothes and makeup and barely does her hair, and she wants to complain because I choose to wear clothes that aren't REVEALING, but don't make me look 30 pounds heavier, and I choose to wear side bangs that occasionally cover my eye. She attacks anything I do different, from me drawing X's on my hands to the colors I wear. I honestly crave to tell her that it's not HER hair or HER body or HER eye or HER hands, but I don't want to be that spoiled. What can I do?

Also, I am almost 14.

Answer 1

Hey - just tell her you are you and she is she. Tell her you are thankful for everything she has done in your life, but please let you develop your own personality. She had her chance when you were very young and could not choose what clothes you wore, now it is your turn!

Answer 2

First, I think that what you're going through is quite common for many mothers and teenage daughters. Your frustration is absolutely understandable. You want to be your own person, right? Well, although it may not come across the way you'd like it to, it appears that your mom is very interested in shaping the woman you are becoming. You can tell her how you feel, but you should do so in a way that honors her role as your mom. Telling her that you appreciate her interest in how you look as a part of her being active in your life, but that you also are developing your own ideas about who you should be. Remind your mom of the good lessons she's taught you (that have nothing to do with clothes and hair) and how you'll pass these lessons on to your daughter and/or other young women in your life. Although parents are supposed to be the ones who focus on the positive and provide encouragement, they forget, forget, forget! Maybe you can take the bigger role and move the focus off the superficial and zero in on your true relationship with one another.

Good Luck!

Peace

Answer 3

Same thing here but it is the other way around...i my don't want me to REVEALE my body parts and i always complain 2 her saying that it's my body and i show it while i got it....but doesn't work trust me cuz from this day forward she still on my case and now she give up.

The best thing 2 do is don't follow what she says...everytime she tell u 2 change, don't change...just say that it something that i desire 2 wear and i choose 2 go on doing it...than she thinks that she still has a chance telling 2 change but don't even if it goes through SHOUTING and BANGING!! Don't FOLLOW it's ur fashion trend and ...A GIRLS GOT 2 do, what a girls got 2 do.
Don't give up and do what u think u wanna do than she give up and throw it at ur face or say ur something ur not ..but remember shes ur mom u can be better than her.
I also i agree it is ur body do what u please...:)).
Smiles*******

Answer 4

maybe your mom has self esteem issues.

I don't understand why you would draw on your hand - but it is your hand.

tell her the truth, you like the clothes you wear as much as your mom likes the clothes she wears. You like the way your hair looks, and your mom likes the way her hair looks. you feel comfortable in the way you dress, and she would be uncomfortable in your clothes. Just as you are uncomfortable wearing her style clothing, makeup, and hair. Everyone has a different shape, and you have to dress the way that makes your shape look best.

She may not ever stop complaining. Your mom will just have to begin to understand that you have different styles - and that is ok.

Answer 5

Are you a tomboy? (That's what it use to be called!) I'm trying to say a girl that is not to interested in girl clothes right now!) You like jeans and a tea-shirt or something like that? I'm trying to find out what type of clothing that you wear. Well anyway, Mom's seem to know what they are talking about, but since you say that she piles herself in clothes and makeup and barely does her hair, I just don't know how to answer that. What I can comment about is that...Moms are suppose to teach their children. Listen to her. She might be telling you right. But then talk to dad about her, he knows her better than I.

Answer 6

I don`t like revealing clothes at any age. Tell her it`s a generation thing. I bet your gran had a go at her when she was a teenager about what she wore. It comes around. You`ll probably do the same to your daughter. She has to let you get on with being yourself though. I`m afraid every mother does.

Answer 7

Be who you is not the other person too, do what you want with your looks, mom sounds controlling and immature. You seem to know your own style and that will change as you get older. Celebrate who you are!

Answer 8

I think that you should stop wigning and listen to her.She doesn't want to turn you into a carbo copy of her.That is what in her opinion is repectable; you have to arrange a limit with her. Tell her that you and her may not always agree but you can always meet her half-way.DONT WRITE THINGS ON YOU HAD THAT IS JUST STUPID AND IT LOOKS GROSS.PLUS YOU CAN GET KILLED BY IT.YOU CAN ACCIDENTALLY BE MARKING YOURSELF WITH A GANG SIGN AND THAT WOULD BE VERY,VERY BAD.

Answer 9

Try telling her that you're growing up and finding your individuality, and even though you dress totally different to her, you're still her daughter and still the same person inside.

Try taking her clothes shopping - Or maybe show her clothes you like online? - and hopefully she'll see that you have your own individual tastes as much as she does.

Hopefully.

Best of luck xoxoxoxo

Answer 10

Just sit down with her and explain reasonably that you prefer your own style of clothes. Your mother is entitled to an opinion, but ultimately you should know what kind of clothes look best on you.