Ive been with my boyfriend for four years off and on, but he last two years we've been together without any break ups. He said he wants to marry me and he tells everyone that I am his fiance, but I dont have a ring yet. Am I really his fiance or is he just saying it because it sounds nice. Aslo I love him more with all my heart and we have a beatiful son together. I really want to be with him the rest of my life. Should I go ahead and ask him to marry me or should I wait until he actually does?
2006-10-25 06:18:48 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He hasn't "asked" you, but he's telling everyone you're engaged? I would ask him straight up - what's up? The ring per se doesn't matter, what matters is that you both commit to getting married, set a date and get the ball rolling.
2006-10-25 06:22:18 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a tough one. I wouldn't go into the whole marry me or else thing. You've obviously put a lot into the relationship to walk away over something like this. I'd probably start out by making jokes in a way that lets him know I'm also very serious about it. I'd be like, "Fiance? I don't see a ring on this finger yet buddy." and things like that that lets him know a ring would let you know he's serious, not just talking. If he didn't take the hint I'd probably end up talking to him about it and just saying, Hey, I love you and I do want to marry you but I'm not one of those people that's cool with saying one thing and doing another. If you want to marry me, then marry me. If you don't.. stop talking like you do. It's too hurtful.
2006-10-25 13:23:47 · answer #2 · answered by Phaylynn 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he hasn't actually asked you, then your not really engaged. In his mind the intent is there, so he tells people your his fiancee' even though it's not official. If you want to make it official and can't wait on him (sounds like he's not going to actually ask), by all means ask him to marry you. Then you can go ring shopping together. But a ring isn't what makes an engagement, it's a marriage proposal and acceptance of the proposal.
2006-10-25 13:30:01 · answer #3 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he just assumes u will get married because he loves u and things are good between u. But do u reaaly need a ring,It sounds like u guys should just sit down and talk about what u both want for the future and maybe set a date somehwere off in the future. But if u got a good thing going make sure getting married wont mess it up. GOOD LUCK
2006-10-25 13:26:33 · answer #4 · answered by honest/blonde 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband never officially proposed to me. That's TV stuff that we want to happen to us. Maybe your boyfriend doesnt live in the "follow the crowd" box. Girl, I was the fiance' before I got a ring. That was because my husband, at the time, wanted a particular ring, and couldnt get it. Now I have THAT ring and we are happy.
At times, I wanted my proposal, but its like, when you know you're in there, you know this man is going to marry you, why need validation?
Tell his a$$ to hurry up and lock it on with a ring, a temp one at least. Going around calling you the fiance, the first place zoomed in on is that finger!!
2006-10-25 13:23:20 · answer #5 · answered by Miss DP 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My best friend was in the same situation. She asked him for the ring. He gave it to her. Now she always wonders if he gave it to her because she asked or because he really wanted to. She postponed the wedding twice already!
I would wait. But make it clear to him that you are ready to be committed to him especially since you have a baby together.
2006-10-25 13:26:55 · answer #6 · answered by tanyasiv 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh that is strange. Since he is already calling you his fiance, why dont you just go ahead and formalise it. Let the world know! So ask him to get you a ring and flaunt it girl :)
2006-10-25 13:25:05 · answer #7 · answered by freshlimesoda 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Remind him that in order for you to be his fiancee, two things have to happen: he has to propose and you have to accept. The ring is optional. If it's not important to you, it's not necessary to have it as 'proof' of intention to marry.
It's possible that even though he loves you and you love him, the fear of the unknown (a possible 'no) might be keeping him from actually asking the question. By all means, do it for him! heh.
2006-10-25 13:24:07 · answer #8 · answered by cr329 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
An engagement does not require a ring, but it does require an acknowledgment from you. If you did not agree to be engaged, you are not his fiance. He should ask you properly. Talk to him about it, then wait for him to ask you.
2006-10-25 13:23:30 · answer #9 · answered by Bill 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first point is the child that you have, having clear the role of father and mother a family.Afterwards what type of status you give to your relation is secondary.
2006-10-25 13:46:20 · answer #10 · answered by patagonia 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋