Flirting 101?

Question

Help!! My husband is an incurable flirt. It doesn't really bug me but with specific people he tends to get close to and when the stalking starts. He swears there is nothing going on and when I say, "How would you like it if I did the same?" he says, "Do it!! It's harmless." So I have decided to go ahead with this idea and do it. In my single life I was a flirt galore, but now that I'm aged and married I have not flexed my open flirting muscles in a long time. With my husband my flirting can go as far as either one of us wants. How do you flirt without getting carried away? How do you start? Will I be able to do this and still save my marriage? I'm trying to understand that a fantasy life is a healthy thing and that exercising my flirting muscles can only help my marriage when I also practice on my husband. (And yes, I realize that his open friendliness and flirting was a part of the intial attraction.) Please help. Specifics are encouraged.

Answer 1

Do the two of you flirt with each other?

As for your husband, it could be innocent fun. He most likely enjoys the attention. Flirting is harmless when you're single, but depending on the situation, it can be quite inappropriate when you're married. As for you flirting with other men, first ask yourself if doing it to get back at him or just for innocent fun? It is possible to flirt for fun without crossing the line. And yes, in some cases in could help your relationship. There's a fine line though and you both have to be sure not to cross it.

As for specific tips, here are some of the classic body language/flirting signs for fliting with men:
- swaying your hips when walking
- tilting head/exposing neck
- tossing hair
- holding a gaze for more than a few seconds
- winking
- smiling suggestively
- casually touching their arm
- giggle/laugh

Answer 2

Flirting can mean a lot of different things to different people. It depends on what your definition of flirting is on one hand you can lead someone into believing that you want them but if your all mature individuals and know that your just palying around it isnt such a big deal. I think you need to pick and choose you think may not take it in a way that you want them. Your husband sounds to be very outgoing and there is nothing wrong with that. If you are having issues with this see what his perspective is, what I mean is do the same things that you feel is flirting that he has done with other people. See how he takes that you wont know how he truely feels about it until it has been done to him. Personally I could see how people would think that I am the biggest flirt because I am playful but I know what to say to certain people I know who I can and cannot joke around and be playful with without giving them the wrong impression. I think its harmless but if it bothers you then it might bother him if not then just continue to do it just be careful and hopefully he understands the same thing that I have come to realize. Good luck and lighten up with you go flirting dont be tense or nervous just try to do it naturally. Dont think about things too much that will all come out. I guess what I am trying to say is dont try so hard that will come out bad. Have fun!

Answer 3

Honestly this sounds like a game to me. You should try marriage counseling. In my opinion (just my two cents, not all will agree) flirting is the first step to feeling someone out to see where you can go with them. I have never seen flirting as an innocent thing when you are married and doing it with someone other than your partner. The fact that you are doing this in a way that sounds like you are trying to get even or prove a point to your husband is not healthy. If you know you don't agree with it, why do it?

Answer 4

Stand really close to another man. When he tries to be funny, put your hands on him while you laugh. If this doesn't work, the man isn't a man! Also, dress differently like you were looking for attention. Most males, except for myself, are insipid and shallow and will pay you attention galore. I could write a book on how you can make men jump at you. I haven't the time however, so you must experiment. Happy hunting.

Answer 5

Celestre, since I was young I used to hear the saying: "never pay evil with evil". My mom would say: "if your friend's chasing a snake in your direction, you should try and chase rat into his direction". See, emotionally, the whole game's bouncing back to you cos you're more rational than him. It's a good thing you're thinking about the consequences of your deeds. Please, let reason prevail and guide your actions henceforth. You'll be glad you did. By so doing, you'll win him back to yourself in the long run. Cheers!

Answer 6

Don't flirt with people simply beacuse your husband does it. Be yourself...always...but remember some people are naturally gegarious and freindly to the point of thinking they are flirtatious when thay arent. If your husband is definatly flirting, well, he shouldnt and DEFINATLY should stop if you tell him it upsets you or you have bigger problems.

Answer 7

If I were you. And you are afraid of "controlling it". I would say you simply should not go there unless he has given you permission to go ahead.

As a woman when you get a guys attention it is hard to mot want to see how far you can push it. Making it very hard to stop.

Best thing you can do is not to start.

Answer 8

you flirted before so you know how, ,you just dont screw,

it can either save or break your marriage,, what is good for the goose doesnt always make it good for the gander, sometimes with flirting you find your true mate,,

Answer 9

Specifically, don't go there. It's only going to make matters worse. Your husband's behavior obviously bothers you (you said it doesn't but otherwise why ask this question?), you doing the same thing won't help.

Since it bothers you so badly, he should stop.

Answer 10

1. you have to have a positive outlook on the situation
2. make eye contact
3. tease and then retreat.
4. make soft friendly touches
5. always smile and laugh
6. avoid too much "thick" tension