I have been married to my wife for about nine years. I have started a discrete relationship with a older woman (11 years older to be exact). My wife has been a housewife all of her life. She has never worked,not because I wouldn't let her but because she didn't want to. My wife would never iron my clothes not even my kids. She would never fix a lunch for me. If I had my clothes ironed and If I took lunch to work It was because I would do it myself.Also my wife was never there to listen when I would come home stressed from work.I'm still seeing this lady, not only is sex great. Something that my wife didn't give me but she's there to listen. So do you think I'm doing wrong in cheating on my wife. Once she found out(my wife) about my discrete relationship.she tried and still trying to change. I feel that her change is coming a little too late. What advice can you guys and gals give me cuz I know that girls read this as well.
2006-10-25 06:04:57 · 11 answers · asked by urhomiesid 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It is always wrong to cheat. But it is your wife's duty to care for her husband and her family. Especially if she doesn't work! So basically, you are both wrong. Your wife owes it to you to change, but you owe her a chance because you cheated. I understand exactly what you mean, and why you cheated. It's not fair when a mate neglects the other until they are driven into a relationship with someone else. I have seen it many times. But you still shouldn't cheat. Give your wife a chance to change. Why didn't you try working on this with her before you cheated? Don't always assume that someone will not change. If you really love someone, you will at least give it a shot.
2006-10-25 06:38:15 · answer #1 · answered by Snow 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should have been honest with your wife from the beginning. You should have told her you wanted her to do more for you such as preparing your lunch and listening to you. Her change that has come "a little too late" is your fault. She cant look up your *** and read your mind. Let her know how you feel. Cheating is never a good thing. If you werent happy in your marriage you should have tried to change things, then if things didnt get better-get a divorce. Then you can start dating someone else.
2006-10-25 06:13:37 · answer #2 · answered by K M 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you were that unhappy then you should of left her a long time ago, or should of confronted her doings and dislikes, but that was the past and you can't change that but you can cahange the future so I think you should make up your mind about who you want to be with. I'm a married woman have 4yr old daughter and work 40 hr weeks and I still have time to cook,iron clean and shop for my family to me that's part of being a wife!! good luck and what ever you do just be honest with your wife after all your still married to her......
2006-10-25 06:55:04 · answer #3 · answered by juicy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u were wrong for cheating on her because if u knew her before u married ur wife u know she was like that and if u knew y did u marry her in the first place?............if shes doing what a housewife supposed to be doing as in ironing ur clothes making u lunch and makin dinner stay with her cuz if shes just watchinh soaps all day and not doing a damn thing around the house she aint a very good wife
2006-10-25 06:16:42 · answer #4 · answered by bigboss 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To answer your question, i'ts always wrong to cheat on your wife. However, you seem to be happier with this older woman and that's a reality hard to dismiss. You're too unclear on what your wife's reaction is to all this. You comment about 'her change'. Is she trying to better herself for you? Does she now make you lunch, etc? You have to weigh how much you want to put up with the standoffishness of your wife. IIf she's trying to change for the better, give her the chance to prove herself. If not, then consider breaking up.
2006-10-25 06:14:01 · answer #5 · answered by Arnold M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From the way you describe your relationship with your wife, it's very clear that your union lacked one vital component, communication. Being the man of the house, you could have told her from the start what you think is wrong with her. How you managed to stay married with her is beyond me. Then again, go where your heart leads you.
If you think that continuing with the marriage will save something, i'm all for it. Otherwise, put an end to your relationship, start a new life.
We all make mistakes as we are all imperfect and I think that the beauty of being human is our imperfections and the effort we all make in trying to correct them.
2006-10-25 06:53:44 · answer #6 · answered by Nelson M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are not willing to let this other woman go, and put an effort into your marriage (via counseling), you need to let your wife go. Sounds like your heart is with the other woman, and if that is the case - your wife deserves to know this, and to be allowed to move on. Sounds like she is trying, but if it doesn't even mattter to you anymore - that is not fair to her. Growing apart happens to so many relationships, but rather than turning outside your marriage you have to turn TO your marriage and make a final attempt. If that fails, then you get divorced, then you move on.
2006-10-25 06:15:18 · answer #7 · answered by Carey L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think thatyou should stay with the older lady. You seem to be trying to convince yourself that this is the right thing to do. You sound tired of the situation with your wife. Give her a divorce and be happy. You live once buddy...maybe your wife will also be happier outside of the marraige.
2006-10-25 13:10:34 · answer #8 · answered by KaLee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If its a serious relationship then there should be no reason to be unfaithful. Simple as. If there was though then the relationship shouldnt be standing in the first place. Stu xxx
2016-03-28 07:17:57 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i can't believe you stayed married to a woman that didn't cook for you or talk to you when you came home from work, and didn't have sex with you, come on man, get real and you didn't dump her?what was she doing all this time sitting on the couch or what?
2006-10-25 06:37:15 · answer #10 · answered by Frederick B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋