My bro-in-law wants me to chip in $50 for a gift he is planning to get for my parents' wedding anniversity...I feel the gift is something only my dad would like, and $50 is money that could be used by me to buy them a gift I feel is more personal. But, I feel that if I don't chip in, my bro-in-law might get offended, pissed off at me and it will cause problems. Should I give him the $50? Should I tell him no? All suggestions and comments are welcome.
2006-10-25 06:00:56 · 21 answers · asked by aceventuradude 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Tell him that you've already planned your gift for your parents but thank you for wanting to include you in his gift. It's tactful and if he gets upset then he has a real problem. His asking you to join in doesn't obligate you by any means to actually agree to it. Good luck :)
2006-10-25 06:03:07 · answer #1 · answered by tagi_65 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Personally I would nicely tell him that you think that his gift is a great idea but you had something else in mind, dint be afraid to say what you have to say. If he is mad he will get over it. If you give in then you will feel resentment towards him. 50.00 may not be allot to some people but I know for me it would be. Especially if it is a gift that I didn't want to give in the first place. If he doesn't have the money to buy it on his own than he will have to think of another gift to give. And seeing as this gift is basically for your Dad...is he trying to impress him or does he just not think that your parents anniversary shouldn't be for both your Mom and Dad? Do your thing...what ever it is it will be from your heart and better than going in a gift that you don't think is worth the money.
2006-10-25 13:12:53 · answer #2 · answered by skipper 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should tell your brother-in-law that you prefer to buy something yourself. He'll probably get ticked off but so what? He'll get over it. You are the only one that knows your own finances. I get the same thing at work when someone wants everyone else to chip in for an employee's gift. As horrible as this is, sometimes I'm not fond of that person and I feel that I'm giving my hard earned money to him or her.
2006-10-25 13:05:41 · answer #3 · answered by honey 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, do what you think would be best. Personally, I would give him the $50 to avoid the conflict. Why start a fight when it could be avoided? But, if you really think that your parents wouldn't like the gift, then you may want to risk the conflict and get them a gift that they will both enjoy. But keep in mind, you parents will have other anniversaries. You will have other times to get them a gift that's a little more personal.
2006-10-25 13:08:29 · answer #4 · answered by S. Elizabeth 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Without knowing what the gift is, how many others are chipping in, etc., it is difficult to answer.
The 'soft out' would be to claim the gift is already purchased and you'd prefer to not return it.
The 'hard out' would be to suggest that THEY may not like the gift as much as he thinks they will and offer to brainstorm a better option for you to go in on. If he gets hard-nosed, then simply suggest that you are uncomfortable spending that much money for something you don't feel your mom would enjoy as much.
2006-10-25 13:07:06 · answer #5 · answered by Madkins007 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its a hard call. I understand what u are saying. U dont want to make him mad.. Just tell him u found something else that they both might enjoy. C what he says and if not then maybe see about agreeing on a gift instead of settling for what he wants to get them....
2006-10-25 13:04:00 · answer #6 · answered by blue eyes 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell him just that, that you feel that the gift is what you think something only something that your dad would like,and that maybe he should change it.if he doesn't agree then tell him that you will use the money to buy your parents a gift that you feel is more personal.I am sure he will understand.
2006-10-25 13:05:06 · answer #7 · answered by Me 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him that you already got a gift for them or something and that you cant afford to pitch in $50 and tell him you can do like $10 or $20 or somethin
2006-10-25 13:03:33 · answer #8 · answered by super_man_4888 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok that is a tough situation... if only your dad will enjoy the present your brother in law has picked out maybe you should bring it to his attention and talk about it... you are entilted to your opinion... maybe you could talk to him and put in a lesser amount and still get your parents something you feel is more personal and would suit both of them...
2006-10-25 13:05:57 · answer #9 · answered by jeans0079 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
MAN UP! You money is your money and these are YOUR parents....you have the right to buy them what YOU want to! So man up and tell him where you stand on it and be done with it!! and if he wants to start trouble, just let everybody know why he is being an azzzhole about it!
2006-10-25 13:06:10 · answer #10 · answered by tpoke24 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋