Is my g/f or ex-wife wrong?

Question

I been divorced for 2 years, have been with my current g/f for 8 months and I also have a 12 yr. old son. Last month my girlfriend moved in w/me & my ex-wife has called various times of the day asking about the house, fix it questions, just stupid stuff. Plus once I told my son that Tiffany (my g/f) said hello cause they have met and he said tell her I said hey. Then his mom called me back and said tell Tiffany not to tell my son hello. Stuff like this. It's really causing a problem w/my g/f. She is saying it's none of her business what I do or who I see and also it's not my problem anymore to be helping her out on stuff...what do you guys think?

Answer 1

I agree with your girlfriend.

Answer 2

Well, I have been an ex-wife and a girlfriend, so I can look at it from both sides. But, in my opinion, your ex-wife is wrong. If she needs help with the house, she should call a professional, or a relative, or a neighbor, etc., because the house is not YOUR responsibility anymore. But, on the other hand, if you are ALLOWING her to keep calling and asking about it, then it will never end. The thing is, some women do these things to prove to the new girlfriend that she still has a certain amount of control over your life. She feels threatened, and is acting like this because she wants to have the upper hand still. Also, deep dpwn, she's afraid the child will end up liking the girlfriend better than her, which is immature and selfish. She should have thought about all this BEFORE she divorced you, but it's too late now, and she's just going to have to get a grip and deal with it. As far as your girlfriend saying hello and all that, there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. After all, she is a part of your life, and of course you want your child and your girlfriend to get along, because they are both important to you. Your ex-wife should realize that you have both moved on, and that she no longer has the right to call you over matters that don't involve the child. If this keeps up, your girlfriend is going to start questioning your loyalties, and I speak from experience, so I know what I am talking about. If I were you, I'd let the ex-wife know (and of course, be kind but firm about it) that you're always available if she has a question or concern about your child, but other than that, she should respect your new life and seek to develop one of her own. Hope this helps, and good luck with that!

Answer 3

I think that due to your son, your ex is always going to be in your life. It seems like you two have remained friends. If you feel comfortable helping her out and you get to be around your son more by doing so, then I am all for it. Most important thing is your son. Your ex does not have any control over you, true. But, if she is looking out for her son and she feels that your girlfriend is a bad influence somehow, then I have to side with your ex. See how your son feels about it and ask your ex why she has a problem with the new girlfriend. Is it just jealousy or does it have some foundation? Do what is in the best interest of your son no matter what either of them say.

Answer 4

This is my personal opinion only. First of all you are not setting a good example to your 12year old by living with your GF and not being married. But with all do respect I have a ex husband and we have a very good relationship so if I would need to call him for anything his current GF would just have to deal with things a little more maturely and accept that you both have relied on each other at one certain poit in your lives, and i think it is best for your 12 yr. old to see that adults can be apart, but stay mature about things. To answer on the ex wife saying to your GF "do not say hello to my son". Well I think she must have some hard feelings or still have certain feelings about you still, that does not make what she says an OK thing. You do not want to hurt anyone feelings and remember you once lived with this woman as husband and wife and sometimes it is not easy to move on even after years. Just try and keep peace but use your best judgement and try to avoid sinning as much as possible.

Answer 5

I think that your girlfriend is right on this one... I mean you r ex shouldn't say mean things like "Tell her not to say hey to my son." In my opinion that's just mean and uncalled for. He's your son too, and your girlfriend was just sayin hey. So, I can see why it's causend a problem with your girlfriend. If your ex only called you a couple times to ask fix-it question then tiffany shouldn't really care, especially if your wife doesn't have anyone else to ask these questions, but if she's calling you to ask those questions like everyday then it would get a little old. Well... goodluck/

Answer 6

I can understand why your g/f would be bothered, but she has to remember that you have a son from a different woman, so there will always be a tie between you and your ex-wife.

But- your ex-wife has no other tie with you other than your son, meaning if she doesn't need your help, then she doesn't need to call you at your home. And you have to put your foot down and not offer her help anymore either. You can always set up for child support, and your rights to see your son. Other than that, I think your ex-wife is being a little immature, and it isn't the right behavior to be displaying in front of your son as he grows older.

Answer 7

The wife is childish and needs to get a life, the g/f is right to a degree because you need to know of wife's well being for your sons sake. And your son is more mature than his mom she should feel assumed of herself acting like that, stand firm and tell them both where you stand and how you feel so hopefully the drama will stop here. I'm in the same situation except I'm the ex wife and I have to be knocking at deaths door before I call on my ex for help but when it's concerning our son I never hesitate to call and his g/f doesn't have a problem w/me because I respect their relationship and I don't want her man.

Answer 8

Your gf is right. Tell your ex wife she should only call about your son. That's it. If she has a problem at the house, she should call a professional. Also, you've been divorced for 2 years and your gf can't even tell your son hello? Sounds like your ex is pretty petty and just calls to make problems. She knows it bothers your gf and that is why she does it. Tell her to stop calling.

Answer 9

A little of both are right and both wrong. Girlfriend should stay out of any conversation that you have to have with ex wife no matter what the topic is. Wife should ask a neighbor for help instead of you. She is just using it as a reason to be in your business. The only conversations you should be having are about the son.

Answer 10

Well your gf is right that it is none of her business what you do, but if your son is living in the house with the ex, then you should help out some. But the ex also needs to learn to take care of herself and you need to push her in that direction. She does need to be dependent on you all the time. If you want your new relationship to last you better let the ex go. I don't many women who would put up with that for long, I know I wouldn't. Good luck.

Answer 11

I understand your being cordial to your ex wife because of your son, but this is going too far. She's your ex for a reason. Tell her you have moved on with your life, you're an adult, you can date whomever you want, and to call a handyman. Your girlfriend may feel like she's taking a back seat to all your ex wife's stupid dilemmas, and with you acting like this, she has every right to feel that way. Calling back and telling her not to say hello to your son? INSANE!! Nip this in the bud before it becomes a bigger problem than it already is and you find yourself without a girlfriend.