My Friends Wife wants wants to sleep with me. What do I do?

Question

For whomever reads these things, I need some advise:

A good friend of mine's wife talked to me last weekend and told me that she is infatuated with me and thinks about "being" with me all the time. I told her that I don't feel weird about it, but I felt like I was lying everytime my buddy and I hang out. I seriously want to tell him, cause there is no way in hell that I would mess around with a married woman, regardless of who they are married to. And for those who care....yes, she is hot.

The questions are this: Am I in the wrong for not saying anything? Should I tell him?

This is serious, so if you want to leave some dumb assed reply, don't waste your time.

Thanks.

BTW...I have NO intention of sleeping with her. I just don't want him getting pissed at me for not telling him and someone else possibly saying something to him.

Answer 1

I think it might hurt him by you telling him, so I don't think its a good idea to tell him- however, you need to make sure that she is aware of the fact that you are not interested in her that way. Just be careful with this because if you tell her NO, she might turn it around and tell him that you were trying to get with her and he will be angry at you. Wow, this is a bad situation- and it sucks that he is married to a woman that is interested in straying. Women like this make a bad name for GOOD women, like myself! I do however think you need to find a way to tell your buddy that his wife may not be loyal, but maybe not so much that you were the one she was interested in betraying him with. Good luck- and be wise!

Answer 2

Dont tell him, this will complicate things between everyone and it isnt worth it. Its ok for other people to be attracted to other people thats just human nature its what you want to do with that attraction that can get you into trouble. But I guess it just depends on how aggressive she is being towards you and it sounds like she is. You might be doing him a favor though by telling him because although you may not do anything with a married woman not a lot of guys feel that way so later down the road she might be attracted to someone that will have relations with her. You are a great friend thats wonderful that you think that way, it just depends on aggressive you feel she is being towards you. Good luck, its a hard position to be in.

Answer 3

The excitment lasts a few minutes, while your friendship with him can last you a lifetime. Consider it carefully; what's more important to you?

What if he's the one setting you up to find out how loyal you are? What if he catches you... would you like to consider what everyone else will think of you? Is it REALLY worth losing a friend over? Is it worth risking your life, if he finds out and decides to go ballistics or "postal"?

Listen, I lost a dear friend in 1988 when his half-brother shot him and shot his own wife three times... because his father saw the younger one with his blond girlfriend and he thought it was his blond daughter-in-law! He gave his SON a gun and told him to be a "man." It was a mistaken identity situation that went bad! My buddy died en route t the hospital, shot and killed by his half-brother over a huge mistake. It happens more than you know.

How many times don't you hear of situations where a very nice, calm, mild-mannered man commits a horrible tragedy... would you like to live with the knowledge that you might have been the cause? Is it worth it?

Man, no matter how great-looking that woman is, there are many others out there... leave it alone. What if she's setting you up for some ugly situation, to tell her husband or blackmail you? Man, leave it alone. Just avoid her. Be HIS friend. If you do not want to tell him, at least do NOT betray him.

I suggest that you avoid calling him at home. I also suggest that you avoid being alone with her (she can say you got fresh, out of spite for rejecting her advances). She's probably fooling around with someone else. Let your friend know that he's got you as a friend; be there for him because he will need a friend when he discovers the truth.

Answer 4

This will depend on two factors. One being how cool you and him are if you can talk to him openly and two how much he trusts what his wife says. Do one of two things, talk to her and give her the option of stopping the infatuation with you before going to her husband and telling him (providing she won't try to turn it around and make it seem like you have been coming onto her which will probably happen) or two you can maybe give a scenario to your friend dealing with your situation and see what his says and take things from there. It's got to stop either way and it's not right for you to be in that situation and you should feel very weird about it unless you are having thoughts of doing the same. Good luck on whatever you decide to do.

Answer 5

I would tell his wife to leave you alone; if you have no intention of messing around with his wife (and I commend you for having some morals and a clue), then disconnect from her. I don't think it's necessary to tell your friend, unless you are ready to have your friendship end. He will most likely think you're lying (unless his wife has done this in the past and he knows about it), and will be extremely angry with you. In time, though, his wife's true colours will show, and eventually he will know her for what she is. It's absolutely horrible that she's put you in this position. Some people have no class at all. Geeez!

Answer 6

Well it is good to hear that you have morals and values!!! This is a tough one.....The woman obviously thinks she has the upper hand for some reason. Why would she hit on he husbands good friend. She also has no respect for either of you. I would some how find a way to tell your friend because he truly deserves to know what is wife is doing. might be hard to do but it is the right thing to do

Answer 7

All I can say is I would tell my friend.
I was sort of in that position before only the husband was attempting to cheat with someone we worked with. Conveniently her name was the same as his wife's name {harder to get caught that way}. So I told the girl to back off and if she didn't I would tell his wife.
He did this before {actually did it} and I didn't say anything and felt like crap about it. It was hard to look at her, so I told his wife this time anyway because I couldn't stand to have that on my conscious again.
The husband hated me after that but I really didn't care.
I felt better!!

Answer 8

You're headed in the right direction. DON'T DO IT. Don't drop anchor in dangerous waters. .and you sound like the type of guy that wouldn't be able to live with yourself (much less be around your friend) if you did do it. I'd be disgusted by her. . I think it's terribly disrespectful of her that she would even try to put you in a situation like this knowing you're her husband's friend. And I also wouldn't trust her - - say you did it, she probably would be the type to get mad at him about something and say "that's why I slept with .. ." . . I would tell her no and don't ask me anything like that again. .whether you want to tell him . .could cause a wedge between you. . but nothing has happened so no harm done. .I'd just tell her h** no, and limit my contact with her. Take the high road man.

Answer 9

If you were walking around with your fly down, would you want a friend to tell you, or would you prefer to find out on your own? If she'd cheat on him with you, she'll cheat on him with someone else too. If this friend is really that close, you should tell him. It's not gonna be easy, because he's going to be pretty upset and he may believe her over you. That's not the point. Her whorish ways will out eventually, and until then you know that you did what was right. He'll figure it out eventually. The question becomes, how good of a friend to this guy do you want to be?

Answer 10

Do not tell your friend! He *will* be pissed off at you. His loyalty will first be to his wife, even if he turns against her later.

His wife has a crush and will probably get over it. She has trusted you with information that has the poetential to make things really difficult in her marriage.

Everyone will be better off if you just let this slide. Telling him will ruin your friendship and his marriage, or both. If his wife cheats on him with some other guy and that breaks up their marriage, so be it.

Trust me, if you tell your friend and he and his wife split, he'll be cursing you as well as her.