my fiance promised he would never hit me again, he did anyway. Now he wants another chance to make it up to me. I want to leave when I get paid do you think I will be safe until then?I dont get paid until them middle of next month.
2006-10-25 05:02:47 · 27 answers · asked by worried 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I personally wouldnt wait until i got paid. I would walk out now. That lets him know how seriouse you are and that you wont tolerate it one more minute. He could really hurt you and then youd be sorry you stayed. Maybe if youhave family or a close friend nearby you could stay there until you get paid. To me, once a person has hit you, thats too far....if my husband ever lays a hand on me I'd leave.
2006-10-25 05:07:35 · answer #1 · answered by chicwitpurpose 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The first time is enough. If you stay it's telling him your a ok with being his punching bag. Dont stay , go and stay with a friend, coworker, you can seek help at any church as well, just talk with the pastor let him know your situation, there are allot of nice families who would take you in temporarily if you do not have family/friends close by.
Be sure you do not tell him what your going to do. And when you remove your belongings having the police assist you is best, just make sure you have everything in order because they will only be able to allow you 15 -30 min. Im sure a few good men from the church wouldn't mind helping either. Scared little boys like your fiance' (that hit women) are usually punks that couldn't take another man on so they wont dare act up.
2006-10-25 12:46:27 · answer #2 · answered by JodiBaby 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to get away from this man as quickly as possible. If he gets the idea you are leaving he may do something to you. If you have family or friends go to them and get out NOW! This is an explosive situation. For your own safety, do not wait. Most abusers don't like to lose and if he thinks he is going to it could get dangerous. Even after you leave you will need watch your back and be strong. Avoid him at all cost so that there is no chance of him sucking you back in again. Never believe the I will never do it again crap. Good luck!!
2006-10-25 14:22:38 · answer #3 · answered by la_southern_femme 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is already WAY past enough. Stay and you will be hit again and again and possibly sexually abused (raped) as well.
Good men don't hit, and you are not a punching bag. If you have photographic evidence of his violence, press charges as I can guarantee that even if you leave, an abusive man will hit women again and you are only protecting yourself and others by nailing the b-st-rd to the wall.
Even if you can't press domestic violence charges, you still need to teave as soon as possible without him knowing about it. Find a local woman's shelter. They have guards who will keep him away while you get back on your feet, and usually good counseling resources to help you figure out your next steps.
I can't emphasize this enough -- get out of the situation as soon as you safely can, close and lock the emotional door behind you, and never ever look back.
Good luck. Remember, a woman is like a piece of fine china, not something to be handled roughly without being broken in the process. Treat yourself like something worth taking care of, okay?
2006-10-25 12:27:10 · answer #4 · answered by HeartSpeaker 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
don't wait until you get paid. If you are fearful of him hurting you again then get out now. Stay with a family member or a friend or even if necessary a shelter. Staying with him until you get paid doesnt really make alot of sense. What is the paycheck going to do for ya if he puts you in the hospital? Or worse? Ya just never know when a violent person can become phsychotic and do more than knock ya around.
2006-10-25 12:11:55 · answer #5 · answered by smilingeyes_976 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Having personally experiencing what you are going through, I was married to an abusive person for a total of 11yrs but left him after 8yrs. So all I can say to you is that only you know when enough is enough. When things just don't matter anymore and you are tired of fighting a losing battle, when you no longer worried about what to expect in a world outside of your fiance and most importantly when you are just plain tired of being tired only then will you know it's time to get out. I would say get out as soon as you can even if that means getting loans from friends and family but like me it's easier said then done. I hope you are able to end that cycle of abuse so that you too maybe able to help someone else. I'd be happy to help you more or give more insight if you'd like to email me. Just a small note to my situation, I was abused before, during and after carrying his child!
2006-10-25 12:24:26 · answer #6 · answered by Tanya 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are safe houses in almost every city that you can go to. Believe me I know what you are going through and when they say they will never do it again, they are LYING!! They do. You can get a restraining order so he cant go near you at work and if he violates it, do not hesitate to put him in jail. They also try to work on you mentally by telling you it is your fault, you made them do it, you need them, you will never find anyone else etc. Again ALL LIES! Get out now while you can. And don't go back. You can look in the telephone book for the nearest safe house or contact your county's social services office or your local police department and ask them, They will tell you. The safe house can also help you get counseling, file the restraining order and anything else that you need help with. Good Luck and I will Pray for you.
2006-10-25 12:11:40 · answer #7 · answered by brendagho 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He certainly has no right to hit you. No on deserves to be treated like that. I understand you want to wait until you get your paycheck,but honestly, I would leave as soon as possible. Go ahead and secretly start getting yourself prepared to move out. You want to make sure that your important documents/belongings and finances are secure and with you before you leave. Do not let him know ahead of time that you are moving out because he may become angry. I know that in domestic abuse situations, the abuse is usually most intense when the woman tries to leave. Please try to get a friend to be at your house. I know it can be slightly embarrassing at first to tell your friends that you are being hit, but believe me, as soon as you tell them, they will be amazingly supportive. Also, I would try to go stay at a friend/family member's house for awhile until you get a stable living situation. If that is not possible, there are domestic abuse shelters that you can stay at.
Finally, if you think he might try to come after you when you move out, then you can get a restraining order. A victim's advocate from the police department or an advocate at a domestic violence shelter will set you up with that.
Good Luck, and Take Care!
2006-10-25 12:26:58 · answer #8 · answered by iloveeeyore 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Speaking from experience, get out NOW before hurts you again or kills you! There are many places you can go to get help. If you need financial assistance, seek out a friend or clergy member. There are also many battered women's shelters out there if you need a temporary place to crash. Do NOT let this violent person harm you one more time! Believe me, it only gets WORSE-NOT better if you stay. I got pregnant and MARRIED my abuser and it was a NIGHTMARE. I did leave, though, and you can, too. You are a wonderful, brave woman to admit what you're going through. Now take the next step and leave NOW! You deserve the BEST! Never settle for less again--I didn't and am now happily married to a loving, kind man who would never harm me. That's what I want for you, too. Take care!
2006-10-25 12:10:45 · answer #9 · answered by mychemicalromancelover 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am not sure how violent your husband is toward you- so safety is not something anyone can guarantee. NO VIOLENCE OR HIITTING IS ACCEPTABLE__EVER. You need to find a support system/ back up plan now before you get into a dangerous situation. And it sounds dangerous now. Call a friend-co worker- family- somebody. See if you can stay there until you get paid- I would advise you not to hang around to see if it gets worse- believe me it will. Get out now- as soon as your bag is packed- leave. Don't live in fear of the "next time".
2006-10-25 12:10:19 · answer #10 · answered by rottymom02 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋