The other day she asked "Are you gay?" and I answered "Yes." but then she says she's not comfortable with that because she was in love with me. I want us to be friends, but every time we're seen together, everybody thinks we're couple, and that makes her even more upset.
She's in love with me, and everyone thinks I'm in love with her, but I'm gay, and I'd hate to lose a friend like this, specially because she'd be OK with that, if only she wasn't in love with me.
The other day I suggested "Get a boyfriend." and she told me she did, but maybe that's just something she made up just to make me believe she's over me.
Now, she doesn't want to spend time with me because people bother her about us, and all she wants is to be with me, if I was straight.
By the way:
Me -- Male / Gay / 14 years old
Her -- Female / Straight / 14 years old
Thank you for reading.
Please help me.
Bye!
festappallion
2006-10-25 04:54:33 · 26 answers · asked by festappallion 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
turn straight again
2006-10-25 04:55:56 · answer #1 · answered by Schizm 3 · 0⤊ 4⤋
Although you didn't mean to, you didn't do anything to make it clear that you were just friends. When other people are coming up to the two of you thinking you're a couple, that might have been a hint that something was up. Your friend, on the other hand, should have come clean with you about how she felt. It's not fair that she's mad because she's in love with you and you didn't know.
Don't make anymore suggestions about her getting a boyfriend, or telling her how to deal with it. It will only make the situation worse. Here's what I suggest:
1. Tell her you're sorry that she's hurt, and you had no idea how she felt about you.
2. Tell her you still want to be her friend because you'd miss her friendship a lot.
3. Tell her you can't control people bothering her about the two of you or being gay
4. Ask her if the situation were reversed, how would she feel about losing a friend
Give her some time to let the shock wear off. You can't do anything about the hurt she's feeling, that will take time. Also consider that as your friend, she should have told you how she felt because it certainly has changed things for the both of you. You had absolutely no control over this situation, and it's not fair for you to take the blame.
The most you can do right now is to let her know you value your friendship and hope in time she'll feel the same way. In the meantime, continue to move on in your life. The rest is up to her.
2006-10-25 05:11:28 · answer #2 · answered by Le_Roche 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't be confused. It's simple. You are together, where ever you may be, having a good laugh, which should not be unusual for mates, and you just say, "I love you." Short, sweet and simple. You are both very young and young guys typically have this attitude about gays, ' They're okay providing they leave me alone.' Just a simple case of ego-centredness. As if the whole gay scene rotates about that individual for its existence. Not so. But HE asked you for gay sex already. He has tackled a bigger problem than what you are contemplating. Your friendship did not end with that, did it? Of course you were 'shocked.' Although, 'surprised' would probably have been a more apt verb. Know what, lhe could p;ossibly be gay himself. Or at least, gay interested. Don't shuffle yourselves into pigeon-holes so soon in life and really learn to get the valuable highs only available from close relationships.
2016-03-28 07:14:26 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's hard to be attracted to someone and have it not be reciprocated.
I know so many girls that were in love w/ gay guys and it's heart breaking to love someone that can't return it. If she continues to hang out w/ you she's going to love you more and hurt more. I have a friend that put her life on hold for a guy that she knew was gay but didn't want to lose him as a friend. She did everything w/ him shopping, lunch and even went to gay bars w/ him. She finally had to move out of state to gain her life back. He was never going to be that guy for her and she moved because all she ever wanted is to be w/ him and living w/ him she would never force herself to be w/ anyone else.
give you friend some time to deal
2006-10-25 05:07:48 · answer #4 · answered by traci s 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The best thing to do is simply tell her how exactly how you feel. Your heart will lead you in the right direction. I think you did the right thing. It's so much better not holding it in anymore right? there is nothing wrong with being gay. She should care for you and love you for who you are. Always make sure of that friend. Fallow your heart and you will always feel like you made the right chocie. Enjoy life friend.
Mike
2006-10-25 04:59:57 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
She's hurting because she loves someone that she can't have. And she needs time. Can you blame her for being upset right now? She's probably angry that you've 'chosen' to be gay, and that is how she sees it right now. Give her time, give her space, and tell her that you really care about her as a friend, and that you don't want to lose your friendship. But respect her choices and give her the distance that she needs.
2006-10-25 04:58:54 · answer #6 · answered by Shayna 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Believe it or not-everyone in the world doesn't have to favorably accept it when a gay "comes out" to somebody else. I don't understand why gays are so suprised by this! Is being gay at 14 something you're sure of anyway?
2006-10-25 05:04:41 · answer #7 · answered by gittit 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i think that she need to find someonee that love her as a women no like a friend. she got a lot of illusion with u because u treat her nice and maybe she feel protect with you. but keep talking to her and told her that you want to be her friend. becaue trust me the men that are rally best friends in the word most of them are gay. dont be sorry keep ging every thing will be ok. she is the one who is going to lose not u. bye take care
2006-10-25 05:02:15 · answer #8 · answered by lanegritadepr1 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well just give her some time and if she is in love with you then she will eventually turn around as for the people around you, when someone asks are you guys going out reply no we're just friends and believe me the word will be around the whole school in no time.
2006-10-25 04:59:31 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell your friend, that you told her this in confidants, and that you hope that she will keep this between us. because people can be so mean. Tell her that she is a friend, and that true friends are hard to find, and that you do not want to lose her as a friend. Tell her not to worry about what people say. just be your friend!
2006-10-25 05:07:59 · answer #10 · answered by roseannetb@verizon.net 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's definitely her choice who she hangs with and for what reason. You are young, time to move on.
Have you seen someone everyday that you have a crush on but you know you will never have them to yourself? Now, consider her feelings towards you. She feels that pain everytime she sees you.
2006-10-25 05:01:16 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋