In response to my demand for my husband to start getting a job that has a steady income so that he can pay for his share of the expenses looking after our children and also to return whatever I have paid on his behalf over the last 6-7 years, he says that he will make sure he gets the children to pay me back when they can.
2006-10-25 04:41:14 · 14 answers · asked by Tired 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My response would be " I did not ask you to have the children pay me back I asked YOU to pay me back. My children pay me back every day with their smiles and laughter because as children that is all they can offer. You are an adult and you can pay me back now by becoming a man!"
Apparently using guilt to control you has been working for him for the past 6-7 years. Stop allowing him to put "guilt trips" on you.
Because there are children involved and there does not seem to be an physical danger I would say that you continue to pay the bills and meet the children's needs, but do NOT buy anything extra for him. This includes gift for holidays or birthday. You and the children can make gifts and you can tell him that you can not afford to spend your hard earned money of gifts for a person that does not respect you enough to want to support his wife and children. I would make a point not to buy his favorite snacks or rent movies etc..
2006-10-25 04:56:41 · answer #1 · answered by B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like there is a lot more to this story than just making someone get a job. Why are you demanding what you've paid on his behalf? Are you separating? In most states whatever is acquired during a marriage belongs to both of you even if one of you is the only one working. If you have children, you MUST resolve your issues so that they don't spill over onto those who are innocent. If I could suggest anything to you it would be counseling or at least a really good, impartial person like a clergy member or mutual, older friend. Good luck to you!
2006-10-25 11:46:35 · answer #2 · answered by redhotteacher 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you have to demand your husband do anything, then you have bigger problems than him being unemployed. It sounds like you're having a pissing contest with control freak overtones.
Do you love each other or are just tolerating one another until you can break free? Figure that out first. If you love each other, set aside your mutual hostility and find a way to repair your marriage and communicate better. Go to a marriage counselor. Act like grownups and consider the example you're setting for your children.
If you don't love each other, do everyone a favor and come up with an exit strategy that puts your kids first. Stop living the Jerry Springer life. It's that simple.
2006-10-25 11:55:38 · answer #3 · answered by Le_Roche 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You want him to get a job to pay for his children's care?
That you have to negotiate this point tells me that this is a despicable human being.
It cannot be to much fun living with a deadbeat dad who you are not even apart from.
Get rid of this scum.
2006-10-25 12:10:20 · answer #4 · answered by Flagger 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kick him out of the house until he gets a job
2006-10-25 11:45:13 · answer #5 · answered by Deadman 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'd tell him that if the kids are gonna pay me back then I don't need your no-good-laying-around-sorry-of-an-excuse-of-a-man-potato-couch-bum-soppin'-up-the-gravy-pig around this house anymore! If you're doing 99% of everything in this relationship, do you really need his 1% sorry *ss!? Tell him See Ya biscuit!! Kick his sorry butt to the curb!!
2006-10-25 11:54:40 · answer #6 · answered by yokrem 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
tell him to get out.. he is living off you he wont get a job.. is there something medically wrong with himthat he cant work..if not. tell him goodbye.. if you keep this up.. your children are gonna be just like him.. get rid of him while you can
2006-10-25 11:45:12 · answer #7 · answered by melissa_williams31379 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you are doing everything...and your children gonna pay you back for it. Whatz he for I wonder?
2006-10-25 12:19:13 · answer #8 · answered by Mrs JP 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dump this lazy man
2006-10-25 11:57:54 · answer #9 · answered by Sunspot Baby 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bye! He sounds like a loser and not much of a father
2006-10-25 11:44:36 · answer #10 · answered by Urchin 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋