What is inappropriate between a man and another woman who is not his wife?

Question

What do you think about a man who is good friends with a girl who is much younger, much prettier, and much smarter than his wife. They talk everyday, and they have conversations that are more suitable for talk among guys. How would you feel if you were the wife, and what would you think about the girl. Even if the wife doesn't know that he talks to the girl, is it ok?

I think it's interesting how the ladies say no way, and the guys see no big deal. Fellas, try to imagine your wife is spending a lot of quality time with a guy friend, chatting online and on the phone in the wee hours. Worse if you are not aware of what they are talking about, or that they are talking. Would you feel the disrespected by the guy your wife was befriending?

Answer 1

I guess it really depends on the situation. I personally did not think it was ok when my husband's friend called him at 3 am and they talked on the phone for long periods of time. I also personally had a problem with his " friend " being in my house when I would get home from work. And even better when his "friend" took my daughter shopping for her 13th birthday party and left her top in the car.
Me personally? I don't agree at all that its ok. I voiced my opinions and he refused to listen. We are not together anymore.

Answer 2

I believe you already know the answer in your heart. You are treading on dangerous territory. I don't know that you've done anything wrong-yet, but I do know that you are leaning toward an unhealthy admiration and satan only needs the door to be opened a crack in order for him to slither through. The fact that you and your husband have not even discussed anything about it, is a big red flag. If anything, your husband should not only be consulted but also if any hand is outstretched to this man, it should be done in a way that you avoid any appearance of evil, as in your husband should be the one to hand him ANYTHING from your family, whether it be a card or a loaf of bread. Your husband should be the one teaching your children and to whom your gratitude is due. Perhaps it would be better for you to try to foster a relationship between the two men, so that your husband can fill the void that apparently this man is filling. On another note. I would watch very carefully when it comes to any man, taking a special interest in your children. He may be perverted. You do not know. Child molesters come in all shapes and sizes and are often people (you think) you know and trust and the opportunity to be trusted is even more prevalent in a Church setting. Pedophiles know this. Just be very careful all the way around, and prayerful. It is dangerous territory any way you look at it and the warning signs are there, that this could be a potential threat to your marriage.

Answer 3

I don't feel that talking is inappropriate as long as it goes no further. Who are you to decide what kind of conversation is 'suitable'? If they are friends and can talk openly about things, that's cool.

I think what you're asking is 'are they cheating'.

I don't know. Cheating is a violation of someones trust., not necessarily having sex with someone. Would the wife feel like he was cheating? That's up to his wife. Would he have the same conversations in front of his wife?

If you are the girl, would you have these conversations in front of his old, ugly, stupid wife? I'm betting it is you, and you are having some issues with the situation. If you're uncomfortable with it, than something is not right about it. His wife would probably think so too. If you're so young , pretty, and smart (?) go get your own, single guy.

Answer 4

I see no problem with my wife talking to one of her guy friends. The only problem I would have is if she intentionally keeps it a secret from me. I dont mean for her to give me a detailed account of every conversation, but it would be odd for her to close an IM window the moment I walk into a room. She has plenty of guy friends, and I have no doubt that she's faithful. But then again, my wife and I trust each other. I thought that was one of the most important things in a relationship. If you have a problem with your husband having a female friend maybe you should be more concerned as to why you dont trust him instead of being concerned over him talking to a friend.

Answer 5

NO! It is NOT okay. Would he still talk to this girl if his wife didn't approve? Or is his wife knew about it? Obviously the husband and wife are having problems. Otherwise the husband wouldn't feel the need to have this "friendship" with the younger woman.

Anything you wouldn't do in front of your significant other is considered cheating....that's the rule I go by.

Answer 6

If a man feels that way about his"friend" then maybe it is time to reevaluate his marriage. There is nothing wrong with men and women being friends but there are unspoken guidelines. You don't talk negative about your partner, don't talk about your sex life, and don't make passes at each other. If your wife doesn't know the person maybe there is a reason you're keeping her a secret!!

Answer 7

It is never appropriate for married men to hang out with other women. The poor girl he has told all the bull to, probably believes every word. How could he really know if this girl is SMARTER than his wife?The girl must like her ego stroked, and he's already playing her.Well if the wife doesn't know about the girl, he really doesn't want to lose the wife.(would you consider her lucky?)I gues both ladies are being played......SAD

Answer 8

you do not keep secrets in a marriage. if he is having an emotional affair it is wrong.

Answer 9

Nothing wrong with this unless it goes farther

Answer 10

I would say that she is a very disrespectful B****