Part II Is it abuse when?

Question

your husband puts you on a guilt trip for oral sex? I already recieved some very stupid and immature answers, i rated them with thumbs down you know who you are. Anyway, a little more background I love giving oral sex to my husand, anal and everything else, I am considered very attractive, no not fat. He is a lucky man because he gets oral sex about twice a week. He wants it more than that. He is a very lucky guy to get even that. Most ladies wont do that much. He still puts me on a guilt trip. I give him everything he wants. Is that enough information people? Again, no stupid answers, keep your stupid comments to your ignorant selves!

Answer 1

I'd talk to a lawyer or a police officer about if it is legal abuse or not. As to it being abusive-type behavior without being abuse, that would depend to me on the type of guilt trip. I mean, is it a ligitimate guilt trip? My feeling is if it's a ligitimate guilt trip, meaning you actually did something wrong that you could have helped, then whatever you end up doing to make up for your mistakes is ligitimate. My wife has put me through those kinds of guilt trips before. Sometimes it's a strong motivator to do right next time, and if not, at least he's getting something for the pain and/or trouble you caused him.

On the other hand, if it's not a ligitimate guilt trip, like saying "I used to get head three times a week now I'm married and I only get it two," well, you didn't screw up, you did right, you're doing the best you can, he needs to grow up and deal with the realities of life, that some times life gets busy, and there are more imporant things than just him. I wouldn't call it abusive, just childish.

Answer 2

I didn't see part one to this. I don't think it's abuse, but it's still not right of him to put a guilt trip on you. It sounds like a maturity and respect problem. Sounds like you are pleasing and satisfying him for the most part. I would tell him you are pleasing and satisfying him and that he gets more than most men. He needs to feel lucky, grateful, and blessed he even has you as far as I'm concerned. Do you get what you want or need from him sexually? If not, maybe he needs to think about that. He has no right to put a guilt trip on you no matter what. It's not right to make anybody feel bad about something good they are doing for another person. You could tell him if he doesn't stop with the guilt trips, you won't do anything to him sexually and see how that works. Have you tried talking to him calmly and honestly about how you feel when he does that and how it makes you feel about yourself? I would think most husbands would stop the guilt trips if they knew how their wives felt and how it made them feel.

Answer 3

He is very lucky to get it that much! I'm one of those that don't like to do oral sex, have, but still don't like it. I was getting more into it with my current husband, but he "blew" that one! I found out that he had oral sex with my "best friend" one night when he was very drunk (yes he knows that doesn't excuse that!), and he's gotten oral sex from me ONCE since I found out 7 months ago! Little hard to do that when the image of them keeps popping into your head. He shouldn't be giving you a guilt trip. My husband loves it done to him, but he's said not a word or a complaint. He knows better cuz I'll throw daggers from my eyes!! Tell your husband to stop being such a winer and get over himself! You like to be satisfied also and just want there to be an equal balance.

Answer 4

Your husband should consider himself lucky: oral sex twice a week! I rarely give my husband oral sex; it's just not something I am good at. When he really wants some, I try, but I don't enjoy it. All men complain about how little they get sex and sexual favors, no matter how much they are actually getting, so I would try to not let his complaints make you feel guilty.

Answer 5

You husband sounds like he's turning into a sex addict. Hey I give head to girlfriend and my man loves it, he doesn't pressure me into doing it. Hell he's down on me before I even get my sh!t off completely! So as far as you having this slight problem with your hubby, when he starts trying to hit you with the guilt trip maybe if you could just tune him out or leave the room and let him sit there and talk to himself. And if he gets loud, just start singing Mary Had A Little Lamb. He'll shut up then because he'll think you've lost your mind! Hey in the past it worked for me!

PS: If he gets stupid and puts his hands on you against your will pick up the phone and dial for your tax paying friend the nice neighborhood police officer.

Answer 6

No it's not abuse!
I loving giving my husband oral, and am very sexual. We have sex about 4 times a week, and I always do oral as a part of foreplay...... not until he c**s but as foreplay. He gets what he wants and I enjoy doing it knowing what it's leading to. Give him "full" oral on the nights when sex is not an option.

Try talking to him, and telling him what youhave told the public. He should respect you and your feelings. Good luck :)

Answer 7

Tell him for you to enjoy it... you don't need to be put on this guilt trip and the more he bitches about it the less attractive he is to you... tell him if he doesn't like your style and ability of love making that you offer him that he can always find someone else and assure him he will be surprised to how many women out there that won't give him what you offer... so here is you a sincere answer... don't let him brow beat you into conforming to his wishes... your not a love slave... hope this helps

Answer 8

I think he is a very lucky man who should not complain. Many women don't like to do it. If you are pressured into doing it, you will resent doing it and will be willing to do it less and less.
Special things should always be done in moderation. Otherwise, they aren't special any more.
Besides, how often does he do special sexual things for you? Do you nag at him to do it more? Perhaps he needs to know how you feel about his guilt trips.

Answer 9

It could be a form of abuse as he is trying to manipulate you into performing for him more often. Using guilt as a problem solver actually only creates a bigger problem and doubt as you appear to have. Try discussing this with your husband and hopefully he will understand your side of the situation and you can both come to some form of compromise.

Answer 10

I am going through the same thing and YES i think that it is abuse when a man does that.. I think that he shouold be thankful that he has you and is able to get oral 2 times a week because some men use their right or left hands all their lifes. Stand your guard and tell him how you feel....