My girlfrend cheated on me about 6 months ago, i found out and a lot of my friends new about it. I dumped her on the spot. But a couple of months down the line i got back with her. Thing is i have realised i will never forgive for what she did and dont think it will work, she has been working hard to gain my trust back and she has faith we will get married one day. But she did me wrong by cheating on me, how do i let her go by not hurting her feelings, how do i let her know that i still love her but i have to let her go. Do you think im wrong for raising her hopes and then deciding to leave her?
2006-10-25 04:35:41 · 25 answers · asked by frankie 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Its always gonna be at the back of your mind. When she goes out with her mates. Goes down the gym, whatever. You will always be wondering if she actually is where she said she is. You cant live like that it will tear you apart. Just end it fella. She ballsed it up, not you
2006-10-26 01:22:17 · answer #1 · answered by Mick B 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Just be honest with her. No matter how good things are or will be, there will always be that thought at the back of your mind that she cheated on you, and that'll make things so hard for both of you.
She cant treat you like that and expect everything to be ok again 6 months down the line.
She may be working hard, and building up her hopes is a bit harse, but dude, she cheated on you! Thats the lowest of the low!
Don't be mean to her, just tell her how you feel and why you think it wont work.
Also, make a decision and stick to it, dont let her sway you when you tell her the news! be harse, but fair!
Best of luck!!!
2006-10-25 04:40:50 · answer #2 · answered by FerreTrout 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you were wrong to raise her hopes - if you did it on purpose. Sit her down now and explain that you thought you could put this in the past, forgive and forget, but that you have found that you can't. If you can't put it behind you the only fair thing to do for both of you is to finish the relationship now so you can both move on with your lives. Sorry if this is not what you really wanted to hear.
2006-10-25 04:43:52 · answer #3 · answered by geegee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You did not do the wrong thing, both of you must have had hope to get back together.
I doubt that there is any way that you can break it off with her without hurting her. But you need to be honest. Tell her that you care for her, but don't feel that there is a future for you as a couple. Good luck.
2006-10-25 04:38:50 · answer #4 · answered by Brainiac 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you love her you will give her a chance, i know once the trust been broken its hard to gain that back, but if you both are willing to work as a couple and base it on love in time that trust can be there again. we are only human and we are not perfect all of us do mistake its just all in different ways, and most of those we have regrets but we learn from it not to do it again and try to make it right for the future. but if you think you cant forgive her there's no hope for the future between you and her and its for the best to part ways. other wise you will be miserable. it will hurt to let someone go, it will not be easy but in time it wll ease about hurting her feeling she did hurt you and causes all this.she know you love her because you tried but its just not working for you. be honest about your feeling. good luck
2006-10-25 05:16:15 · answer #5 · answered by whitetiger 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no, not at all. I cheated on my boyfriend a few times. He kept taking me back, til one night he hit me. I couldn't put up with his anger so i left. However, just over a year i've gone back to him. Been here 4 weeks and every time i express an opinion he gets annoyed saying i'm narrow-minded and snobby. its like he wants to get his own back. I feel bad all the time i want someone who can make me happy not to keep bringing up all the bad stuff. please tell her because you will hurt her more by staying with her. Just sit down with her in the living room when you are both relaxed. Just say i'm really sorry but i can't forget what happened, i will always love you, but we are better as friends. I still feel strongly for my ex boyfriend but i bring out the worse in him because we have different issues. hope that has helped. email me sam_tess_chris@yahoo.co.uk
2006-10-25 04:49:44 · answer #6 · answered by tessie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, I don't think you are wrong for trying to forgive her. It's understandable.
Just tell her the facts as you laid them out for us here in Yahoo answers.
Tell her:
That after the cheating, you still had feelings for her and wanted to try to forgive and move on.
That you realized that you cannot forgive and trust again,
Tell her you are sorry and know that this is painful.
It will hurt her when you tell her this and when you break-up. This is unavoidable with someone who planned to marry you. But, there really is no alternative if you cannot forgive her and trust her again. But, it is fair and the right to tell her before she starts picking out wedding dresses.
2006-10-25 04:51:12 · answer #7 · answered by BParker 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HONESTLY YES THAT WAS WRONG ON YOUR PART FOR BRINGING HER BACK INTO YOUR LIFE GIVING HER HOPES, BUT THE BLAME IS NOT ON YOU. SHE IS IN THE WRONG, IF YOU ARE DOUBTING YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH HER IS MAY BE MORE THEN YOU NOT TRUSTING HER, IT MAY BE SHE IS TRYING TO HARD BECAUSE SHE MAY STILL BE DOING IT! A PERSON CAN CHANGE, BUT THEY MUST WANT TO CHANGE, I WAS THE CHEATER FOR MOST OF MY RELATIONSHIPS, I AM MARRIED NOW AND I HAVE NEVER CHEATED ON HIM! AND I NEVER WILL, BECAUSE I CHOSE NOT TO! IT WAS MY CHOICE. SHE MAY NOT BE CHEATING, IF YOUR LOOKING FOR A WAY OUT TRY THE TRUTH SET HER DOWN AND TELL HER YOUR TRUE FEELINGS AND BE FIRM. NOT MEAN! AND JUST TELL HER YOU DON'T FEEL THIS IS GOING TO WORK YOU HURT ME TO MUCH AND I JUST CAN'T FIND IT IN MY HEART TO TRUST YOU ANYMORE. NEVER NEVER APOLOGIZE FOR BREAKING IT OFF, SAYING SORRY SHOWS DOUBT, YOUR NOT IN DOUBT YOUR ARE STATING FACTS, THAT SHE HAS CAUSED!
2006-10-25 04:46:02 · answer #8 · answered by Hotonic 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Breaking up is never fun. Do what you gotta do and really mean it.
I must admit women always seem to forgive a man for cheating, but for some reason men NEVER can. Think about it.
2006-10-25 04:41:59 · answer #9 · answered by Suzette 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
brave man taking her back in the 1st place. im sure she is sorry but if you cant trust her then she made hte mistake not you.
tough isnt it!
shes making the effort but will she do it again if she do 100% forgive her? i belive in forgiving but unfortunately you wont ever forget.
id be done with it and move on and find someone who wont think that little of you to cheat on you. (obvisouly depends on circumstances you might have been arguing loads-no excuse but a reason)
good luck finding your perfect woman!
2006-10-25 04:41:48 · answer #10 · answered by caroline17nov 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋