one of my frendz has only 4 years to live n when she talks on this topic i get sad, she is happy for this n says that we'll come to meet her wid flowers when she'll be bedridden, how to realise her that it so difficult to part from her as she is more dearly than a sister to me n i can't let her see go. plz tell me how to stop her from discussing this topic as she very frequently talks about it.
2006-10-25 04:35:39 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I'm sorry to hear about your friend. I think her talking about it is her way of accepting it. I understand it would make you sad but being a good friend is like a marriage, you take the good and the bad. If she needs to talk about it let her blow off some steam for awhile. Then maybe she'll feel better and you guys can spend the rest of the time having fun. Make the best of the time you have left.
2006-10-25 04:44:34 · answer #1 · answered by jenny p 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She has accepted the 'reality' of her fate. You should be thankful that she can accept that, you would be more upset I think if you had to deal with her depression and down moods if she didn't accept it.
At least she has gotten that far. Trying to hide the fact that something is going to happen, and just sweep it under the rug so to speak isn't going to help.. you know it's still going to be there the next day.
She could be wanting you to discuss this with her so you can help her make plans before she goes.
You are going to have to take it. You can ask her to please not talk about it with you, as it makes you very sad. She may do that.. but try to make some plans for her time.. she may need that in a 'friend'.
2006-10-25 11:52:00 · answer #2 · answered by Jas 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Youre not the one dying here, this isn't about you. I know you don't mean to be selfish but you are. This is her way of dealing with this let her. The best advise I have to give is maybe corny, but if you do it you will thank me later. Record everything from now on-what you guys do what you talk about, and make kind of a story out of it. When she does pass, you will still have her right there in your hands to read. Ask questions now that you may need to know, now!! Get answers and write it down. Ask her what she wants and write it down. Everything!!!!!
2006-10-25 12:25:30 · answer #3 · answered by Kelly D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even though this is a very sad situation, try to look for the positives. (It sounds as though your friend is trying to do that.) You now have an opportunity to plan for some beautiful memories of her.
Allow her to talk about this all she wants, she needs to reconcile her thoughts and feelings, too. By letting her voice these things, you can learn so much.....maybe even things you've never realized about her.
I lost one of my dearest friend to cancer 3 years ago. She allowed me to assist in her care for the few months she had left and we talked endlessly about her life and all the things she never got to do. Listening to her made me realize how precious life is....and how fast it can be taken from you. I wouldn't trade that experience for anything.
Use this time you've been given. It will be gone far too soon.
2006-10-25 11:56:33 · answer #4 · answered by Rembrandt11 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
y r u only thinking of ur own suffering...she is suffering so much....u have to let her let out her feelings. but try to get her to focus more on living happily instead of keep on thinking about the topic, by taking her out for fun or bring her to places she had always wanted to go. try to get her mind off the topic. u should stop doing the sad face coz it may make her feel worse...
2006-10-25 11:41:02 · answer #5 · answered by nini moreal 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like she has come to grips with the reality of her mortality and probably is discussing this to show you that she is strong and not fearful of death. For your friends sake please do not silence her on this topic as she is discussing this as much for you as she if for herself. Support and love this person while she is still in your life and be grateful for having known her while she was here.
2006-10-25 11:39:43 · answer #6 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
have a long conversation about if you LOVE HER THAT MUCH AS A FRIEND. trust me i know it will help and after this conversation she should stop talking about it so frequently. she knows you don't want to loose her nor exept the fact that SHE IS DYING. NO-ONE WANTS TO EXEPT THE FACTS. do you want her to die knowing you had time to prepare for it but you didn't???? let this question run through your head for a while. i wish you and your friend my condolenses.
2006-10-25 12:14:50 · answer #7 · answered by babydoll.angel 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my b/f just told me she has lupus and my ten year old has cancer and we often talk about their illness because sometimes when you talk about these things it lets them know the can talk to you and by talking it help let your pain and feelings out because the are sick and they cant control that they can there thoughts and feelings and being a good listenercan help more then you know my son always talks to me about his cancer and sometimes i cry and he tells me i'll be alright i'm in gods hand . god bless and i'll pray for you both and your familyand son says he'll make with kisses and hugs.
2006-10-25 11:51:37 · answer #8 · answered by angeleyes 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well frend if she talks abt dis very frequently thn i think she isnt wrong.....she has to go n tht what will happn one day.....dis cannot b changed...u cant change it....so if she talks like tht n if u dont like dis thn start a new topic...change d topic..... well dis can b only done...but if u'll ask me thn i'll say tht dont do dis....u shud have a habit on dis now...as its true n u have to accept it....so let her talk....let her express her own wayzz!
2006-10-25 11:40:07 · answer #9 · answered by Neha 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is hard to deal with im sure! try to listen to her as much as possible if u feel u cant take it sometimes give her a hug and let her know i love u like your my sister but please lets not talk about it right now
2006-10-25 11:42:30 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋