I'm male, white, and very financially successful. I was born rather poor, but I've worked hard, gone to school, and worked very hard to advance myself in my career. In my PhD program, I have a female professor who has not enjoyed a similar level of ecnomic and career success and the other night in class she stated that the only reason I had done well is because of my "maleness" and "whiteness."
I felt insulted. I have always considered myself to be a feminist, a "good liberal," and a humanitarian. I have worked hard to insure diversity in my workplace and I've put policies in place to insure that everyone gets their fair share.
In short, I don't feel like I'm part of the problem - I feel like I'm helping to insure diversity. I feel like the prof has done exactly what she accuses others of doing - judging me because of my sex and color. I don't feel like I'm "part of the problem?" But I could be wrong!
What do I do?
2006-10-25 04:32:30 · 9 answers · asked by texascrazyhorse 4 in Education & Reference ➔ Higher Education (University +)
Well, this seems like a big problem, not for you, obviously, but for the woman who has offended you. If I'm not mistaking, she is Afro-American, from what I can deduce from your question, and she is quite single, with those kind of opinions about men. If you are the man you claim to be, hard-working, a feminist and a good liberal, then you should really try to solve this problem, just for the sake of being at peace with yourself and with others. We are, after all, living in a society, and we should do our best to make it as good as we can. I'm not an expert or anything like that, but I am student in sociology and psychology, and I am trying to help others as well as I can , so here's a little piece of advice: you should be very patient and try to communicate with this woman without hurting her feelings or disregard her opinions, as wrong as you may think they are. Each individual has the right to make their own opinions. Try to make her understand where you came from and that your current success is due only to hard work and a little bit of luck, if you had any. Also try to make her see what kind of man you really are, that you have a very good opinion about women's emancipation and that you try to encourage women to succeed. Don't criticize her! That will only make thing worst. I'm sure she won't be indifferent to you behavior, at least she'll appreciate your efforts of trying to get along well with her. And if you don't get it right, well, just try to coop with the situation and be very understanding. You can never know what caused her to have that opinion on men and you in particular; it might have been something serious, that has really left scars in her soul, so think of that. I really wish you to solve this situation and the best of luck!
2006-10-25 05:26:45 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
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2016-10-02 22:46:09 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have every right to feel insulted. My advise would be to tell her what she said was inappropriate. She may never believe that you worked for your position, but you need to bring it to her attention.
If she continues to accuse you of getting to where you are just because you are a white male, bring that up to one of the school deans or somebody in charge of the PhD program. Racist and sexist remarks are wrong.
Good luck with the resolution to this situation. :)
2006-10-25 04:43:20 · answer #3 · answered by SmileyGirl 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why is this woman getting to you so much? she is just trying to make you feel bad, and its working. she probably is unhappy or has a chip on her shoulder. or maybe she has touched a nerve.
Perhaps you feel guilty at some level for what you have achieved.
Maybe its time to give more back, by volunteering in less-advantaged communities or by charitable contributions to worthy causes, etc.
2006-10-25 04:41:10 · answer #4 · answered by EmLa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should not dignify the criticism with a reply. Others will very quickly find that this person that blames others is usually covering for their own inadequacies. Keep quiet and allow them to hang themselves.
2006-10-25 04:42:47 · answer #5 · answered by Jabberwock 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What do you do? You ignore idiotic sweeping generalizations about gender and race. She has some need to belittle you - that's her problem. The alternative is to attempt to have a rational debate with her about her assertion, but then you're just giving validity to her poison.
2006-10-25 04:39:41 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You just keep on doing what you've been doing. This is obviously the woman's problem and she's the one to deal with it.
2006-10-25 04:41:02 · answer #7 · answered by beez 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
what she is saying is kinda true. dont feel insulted but try to understand it from her point of view.
2006-10-25 04:40:28 · answer #8 · answered by asyet203 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first you analyse yourself and if don't find yourself guilty then better you don't mind others comment because they may be jealous of yourself and your success
2006-10-25 05:04:34 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋