Am I a bad person because I find nothing particularly enjoyable about being pregnant?

Question

This is my 3rd baby, and a BIG surprise. I have moved on past being incredibly angry and enraged, to being semi-excited. I know a lot of people go on and on and gush over pregnancy, but for me, I could do without it. I really wish the baby could truly pick you and be delivered by a stork in a blanket.

I pee every hour. I don't feel right. I have high blood pressure, so I'm automatically "high-risk" and have to endure the joy of being scared $hitless by doctors about the what if's and could be's, despite that I have never had any issues and my BP always normalized in all my pregnancies somewhere in the middle. Then, I hate women, so it sucks for me to have to be feeling ultra grumpy and have to sit in a room every two weeks with about 10-15 other hormonal women in the doctor's office and everyone acts like we are all best friends in a special club, chatting about cervicses, ultrasounds, and bottle or breastfeeding!!!

I know. I'm just a bad person. No one else probably feels it.

Answer 1

You know what, if you're a bad person, then I must be HORRIBLE.
I've been trying for two years with my husband to get pregnant, and now I'm 17 weeks, and frankly not enjoying this very much at all... and they keep telling me that this is the easy part.
I'm so uncomfortable, and although I'm finally over the morning sickness, now I've just got AWFUL heartburn, almost ALL the time, no energy at all, and horrible back pain (probably sciatica) since 10 weeks.
I don't sleep well cause I can't get comfortable, when I finally fall asleep I wake up again to go pee, and of course my husband's irritable since every time I wake up, it wakes HIM up too....PLUS, when I do get in a half-hour of sleep here and there, I have really weird and disturbing dreams.
I'm in such a rotten mood most of the time, and now I'm starting to get a little depressed, and really lonely, since I was put on preventive leave from my apparently "unsafe" job at 12 weeks.
I haven't gained that much weight, but everything seems to have shifted or something cause NOTHING fits me anymore, I even have sweats I can't get into!
Mostly I just feel so pathetic, I'm only 4 months into an "easy" pregnancy, everything's going great, no problems at all so far, but I just feel ROTTEN, and like such a whining baby about all this. I don't even feel like I can talk to people about how I really feel, cause they'll all think I'm just being a spoiled brat...
Yah, we're bad people alright...this sucks.

And I HATE IT when people rub my belly!!!

Answer 2

First of all, you are NOT a bad person. Who stole you the right to have your own feelings? This wasn't planned, so when you found out, you probably didn't have time to be excited. It's not like you TRIED to have another baby, so it was like that part of the excitement phase was fast fowarded right past you. Your body is going through tons of hormonal changes (which I'm sure you already know), but more importantly, you are losing patience and that "gushy feeling" because you have to worry about the same stuff all over again.

When a woman has her FIRST child, she's extra cautious, wants to stay calm, and excited about everything. Those darn minors! You, on the other hand, have probably seen it all and you're getting annoyed. Maybe people treat you like you don't know anything and that urks you. Maybe the girls at the office relate to eachother b/c it's their 1st or 2nd, and so it's still new to them.

Don't you worry. My friend got pregnant a 2nd time and didn't expect it. She had the big time baby blues. Now her unexpected son is almost 6 years old, and she says he's changed her life for the better and has given her so many memories.

Your 2 current children and your baby to be will grow up and leave you with memories that far exceed the baby blues you're having right now.

Best wishes.

Answer 3

My 1st pregnancy was awful. Morning sickness for the first 7 months, lost weight the first trimester because food would not stay in my stomach. Finally, the last trimester, I felt better, but..
I developed pre-eclampsia, and I was hospitalized for 10 days prior to a scheduled section because of the elevated BP and a breech baby. The baby had colic and never slept, but soy formula finally helped the colic. It was not a great pregnancy by any means.

However, my unexpected 2nd one, (the doctors told me I would have a hard time getting pregnant due to a tipped uterus) was very easy. No sickness and a delightful baby, who slept until 5 AM at two weeks old.

So each pregnancy is different. I hope your 3rd is easy sailing. I know from experience that having a difficult pregnancy is a hard memory to erase. I wish you the very best for you and your baby.

Answer 4

no, your not a bad person! I felt the exact same way when I was pregnant! I was sick as a dog for 5 months, so sick I even lost weight during my pregnancy! (not that I didn't need to but...) for about a month I was happy being pregnant, then all hell broke loose. Doctors appointments being "re scheduled" because the Dr. was out with another patient, feeling sooo tired that you don't think you can open your eyes let alone function at work/home. I tell people the best thing about my pregnancy was it being over. However when my beautiful daughter made her entrance (via emergency c-section) (yea, it was hell right up to the end) it was all worth it :). My husband and I are now considering having another child and seriously..... I dread being pregnant again!

Answer 5

At times I felt like you did because I was having my first child after age 35. Doctors treat you like you should never be able to have a healthy child.

They talked me into taking an amniocentesis and I regretted it. It made me hate my pregnancy for two weeks before I had the test and 4 weeks afterwards while I waited for the results.

I can understand your feelings. This past pregnancy, I had pregnancy rhinitis the ENTIRE time and couldn't breathe. I was sluggish, had kept 20 pounds from the previous pregnancy and gained to a point where I had NEVER GONE BEFORE. I was miserable and couldn't wait to get the baby out.

Part of your feelings are from being uncomfortable, but I know you will love this child, especially when it gets out of you!

Been there, done that.
Take care.

Answer 6

No, you are not alone. I felt the same way through all my pregnancies (2 babies, one miscarriage). I found only two good things come out of pregnancies, no period for 9 months and a beautiful baby. I sometimes wish I would have had my tubes tied after my last child, but then I think that I might want one more later down the line.

Dont' worry, luckily pregnancy doesn't last forever. You are not a bad person either. Good luck!

Answer 7

Don't say that you're a bad person, i believe that everybody is good on the inside. i don't know how your life has been but it could be one of the reasons why you don't like pregnancy. have you ever considered that maybe your going through depression, not everybody deals with depression the same way. it could also be your hormones, the body goes trough alot of changes when your pregnant, of course you should know it it's your 3rd baby, the best thing that you can do is go talk to your doctor and maybe he can refer you to some counseling. i wish you the best and i hope you feel better for you, your family, and most important for your next baby.

Answer 8

YES YOU ARE A TERRIBLE HORRIBLE MONSTER!

you don't like being fat? You don't like needle pokes and prods in places thatare best left unsaid? You don't like peeing all the time and sometimes not making it to the bathroom? You don't like being scared to death and out of control......what kind of person are you?

NORMAL!!!!!!!!!

My sister-in-law is a great mom and she didn't really like being pregnant. I love being pregnant because I have endometriosis and it is the only time in my life I feel healthy....I could do without the fear......, even as thrilled as I am I could do without some of the beamers in the doctors officer.

Do you love your kids? Do you take good care of them? If yes you are a great mom and I'm sure a good person.

Why do you hate women though? That is pretty strong.

My mom was FURIOUS when she found out she was pregnant with me...wouldn't even get in the car with my dad at the doctor's (in those days you had to go to the doctor) and my grandparents had to come and get her.

We are closer than my other siblings...she was older for that time (36) and not Catholic so all of our friends had 3 kids tops.....my father's brittish family believed people had two children and that was proper "we are not pigs my dear...we don't have litters." She was not thrilled.

But she is now...she is a good mom......don't be hard on yourself...

PS I was infertile for two years and in treatment so when you get those people who shame you and say you should be grateful or you don't deserve your children, you remember that one of the infertile women said it was fine...of course I finally got pregnant maybe I'd feel different if I wasn't!

Answer 9

Your not a bad person if you don't like being pregnant allot of people don't mostly if they don't feel good throughout the whole pregnancy, but like you said this is your third some people do tone down the being excited part, but otherwise you are a great mom and going through all that trouble to have this child whether it was a unexpected one or not.

Answer 10

You are not alone...lots of women don't enjoy being pregnant...it's just society that tells us we should love it! I find chipper, overexcited pregnant women to be nauseating sometimes too!! You'll get through it! And talk to your doc too if you find these negative feelings continue past your pregnancy, you may suffer from some postpartum which is normal too, just nobody talks about it. Good luck...and remember to have a laugh at all those kooky pregnant chicks who can't shut up about the joys of being pregnant!