My husband is in love with me. I am not in love with him anymore. Sometimes I don't feel any love for him at all.
I know you want details...but I will sound rude if I stuff that much quick detail in. Even from a guy's perspective...you won't like him. No, he's not violent or on drugs.
For all the wrong reasons, I am not leaving the marriage.
Assuming I'm not a fat, ugly, crazy, stupid woman who just wants to complain...
What can I do to help my husband with his insecurities? I know that you can't help someone who won't help themselves...but maybe there is a website or a old saying or a testimony or ANYTHING that might spark my husband to get himself some help.
The best way to describe my husband is this:
Those who don't learn from history are "doomed" to repeat it.
2006-10-25 04:09:01 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Hmm....first, kudos for not leaving your marriage. I'm not sure what you mean by staying for all the wrong reasons, but there's one right reason....commitment. I know it's difficult, perhaps almost unbearable, but you married for better or for worse, right?
In terms of helping him with his insecurities, have you tried complimenting him? When was the last time you told him that he's good in bed? That you appreciate all his hard work to bring home the bacon? That he's a great dad? Well, you get the idea.
2006-10-25 04:15:09 · answer #1 · answered by Sheik Yerbouti 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kind of tricky. First be clear on what your issues with him are. Are you sure that it is confidence? If you determine that it is then you will be able to show him how his lack of confidence is affecting a particular area in his life where you find fault. If he doesn't believe you then ask him what he thinks the problem is. You are suggesting a lack of confidence, but there has to be actions that he is not performing up to a standard which you believe he should be able to reach which is triggering this.
1. Are your standards really fair, and what are they based on? Did he perform at this higher level before and now falls short, or is he classic underachiever?
2. Does he even consider your expectations important? He may just not be interested in what you think should be important to him.
3. Maybe he is afraid of something.
I applaud your commitment and efforts to work with your husbands confidence. If you can raise it you will be a goddess to him. It is one of the most important areas of a mans psyche and the one most easily influenced by his loved one. Yet one of the most misunderstood by women. In this arena women fail at an astronomical rate.
2006-10-25 04:54:44 · answer #2 · answered by Big Marc 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My goodness. Your story fits mine exactly. I believe that insecurities stems from confidence. Confidence is something that one needs to find for himself. People around him can only do so much. If you think that you can still stay in the marriage, by all means do. However, if you have a better alternative and have a good means to support yourself, you need not sacrifice your life for this. Loving yourself is the greatest love of all.
2006-10-25 04:22:36 · answer #3 · answered by Tired 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
because of the fact there became an particularly popular incident concerning pilots working for Northwest airlines who have been chanced directly to be VERY under the impact of alcohol. no longer in easy terms slightly tipsy, yet previous under the impact of alcohol. on the same time as the jokes are nevertheless accessible, this did take place 9-10 years in the past, and loads of procedures have been replaced. Alcohol intake interior 12 hours of a flight is grounds for dismissal from any airline now.
2016-12-08 21:00:04 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm thinking he needs some tough friend love here.
When he does the same or similar thing that causes him problems point is out to him. "Didn't you do that before and it didn't work then either? You do not the definition of crazy is doing the same thing again again and expecting different results"
Don't be mean about it. Do it in a way that says you're laughing at life.
2006-10-25 05:03:24 · answer #5 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love isn't a feeling, it's a verb.
Think about it, happy is a feeling, does the sentance "I happy you" make sense?
That said, maybe you have made a poor choice on who to marry. Maybe it is difficult to love him.
In any case, I'd need more specific issues to know how to help you to help him deal with them. Doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results is one definition of insanity. Maybe he needs medical help.
2006-10-25 04:42:22 · answer #6 · answered by Sean J 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Possibly he has a chemical imbalance and needs a complete physical checkup. Following that counseling might be of some benefit. Do you know somebody older and wiser that he respects who can have a "Come to Jesus Meeting" with him?
2006-10-25 04:45:13 · answer #7 · answered by acmeraven 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are being too obscure...? How to help with insecurities? Maybe your hubby is depressed and could benefit from visit to the Dr. Good Luck
2006-10-25 04:25:59 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask yourself these questions:
Do you give him what he wants and needs sexually?
Oral to completion
Anal
Outdoor fun
BDSM
Group fun
Are you watching the weight?
Whining and moaning all the time?
Give him whatever he wants whenenver he wants wherever he wants and with whoever he wants or end up fat lonely depressed and with this happening again and again in your life......and ignore the puritans, the losers, the religious and the bitter dumped souls who post here xxx
2006-10-25 04:16:38 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
How do you expect people to help you help him when you wont tell them what you dont like about him? Reading this didn't tell anything. Is is a physical attraction problem? A personality problem?
2006-10-25 04:13:04 · answer #10 · answered by fscarberry20 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋