My boyfriend and I have been together for 6 years and moved in together a year ago. We have a great relatioship. We get on really well and always have a laugh together and we never argue or row. However, in recent months I've noticed the physical side of our relationship going down hill a bit! We've never had an issue in this department before our sex life has always been fantastic. But Ive notice recently I'm having to initiate everything and its happening less and less! We also never really kiss anymore. He's very touchy feely in other ways and we have lots of hugs. We both go to the gym a lot during the week and work obvisouly so we're tired. I guess I'm just wondering if this is an issue or if its just what happens when you live together?
2006-10-25 04:04:33 · 30 answers · asked by ? 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I'm 100% sure he is not cheating.
2006-10-25 04:55:42 · update #1
Yes. You have settled in a cosy relationship akin to marriage even if you have not got the certificate, reinforced by the fact you are now living together. There is obviously a great deal of love and affection between you and perhaps your partner does no need to express his love through sexual contacts as much as he did when you were first together. Added to which you both lead a strenuous life and sport can become a substitute for sex. I would not worry. I do not think it is an issue, but there is nothing like honesty and if you are worried, ask your partner in a non-critical non- confrontational way if he is particularly tired, and when he asks why, tell him that that aspect of your relationship does not seem as intense as it used to be and it worries you.
2006-10-25 04:22:04 · answer #1 · answered by WISE OWL 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't worry about it too much just yet. I met my girlfriend at uni and we moved in together very early into the relationship. Everything was great, no arguements, awesome sex, and we stayed like that for two years. Once we moved home however, both our libidos dropped. Neither of us felt like we were receiving enough attention from the other. It wasn't that we were going off each other, we just had so much going on in our lives that we were tiring ourselves out before we'd see each other. It did get a little tough for a while, but we sat down and talked it out. Slowly but surely, things started getting back to the way they were. We're moving in together again in a couple of months and our relationship has never been stronger, emotionally or physically.
Communication is extremely improtant in a relationship. Talk to your boyfriend. Explain to him how this situation is making you feel, and ask what he thinks of it. All you can do is be open and honest. It sounds like there is still the attraction there as you are continuing to show affection towards each other. Sometimes one can just lose their sex drive temporarily. Give it time and it will come back.
Good luck.
2006-10-25 11:15:57 · answer #2 · answered by James M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes this is what happens - you can't keep up the passion you feel at first rather it gets overtaken by a wonderful togetherness and - the lust is less intense but the love more so.
My partner and I have been together 8 years. We don't make love together as often as we dd in the early days but it's still great when we do.
I really would get the kissing back though - kissing lets you know you are loved even when you both have other things going on in your life. Don't forget to date still even though you live together and set aside time for each other like you used to before you moved in together. Forget the TV and the gym, enjoy a bath together, go out or order in for food, lower the lights and look into each other's eyes.
2006-10-25 11:12:48 · answer #3 · answered by Leapling 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am talking on this subject as a single male, but I think talking together possibly helps to resolve some of the doubts that may be at the back of your thoughts, regarding him playing away? is there total honesty in the relationship?Do you both feel as committed to each other?Is it the stresses of everyday lifestyles at fault?
As I have mentioned before I am single and have had very few relationships to comment, but have seen so many relationships like this go down hill once the magic is over and real life kicks in. Best of luck talk together and try proposing and turn this into one of life's beautiful situations.
2006-10-25 11:47:02 · answer #4 · answered by razersharp 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you talked to him about your feelings on this?
Don't make a huge scene of it, but its worth mentioning that its something you've noticed, and that it concerns you a bit that you seem to be always the one taking the initiative, and that you'd really like it if he did that some more. Ask him how he feels, and what he thinks.
Aside from going to the gym and working... do you have a lot of time left in the week when you actually do fun stuff together? It might be worth trying to spend more time together doing the sort of stuff you did before you moved in together.. and that might awaken more of the magic.
Just because you've been together 6 years... the fun stuff doesn't have to stop!
Good luck!
2006-10-25 11:10:36 · answer #5 · answered by James 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is what happens!!! I've been with my husband for 6yrs,married for 4 and living together for 5,things were great at the beginning,he sent me flowers all the time,took me out for meals and always had a surprise waiting for me somewhere,although i love him more than anything things do get a bit routine! we now have three kids,he works around 12hrs a day and although we have everything we could want we don't do any of that stuff anymore! i don't regret anything we've done but sometimes wish things were that way again,just the time we spent on each other,you get comfortable and that's what changes so try to keep it fresh,don't know how but if you find anything let me know!!
2006-10-25 11:27:48 · answer #6 · answered by lisa k 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At the end of the day were are all just animals. There aree very few species that stay together for life.
According to some research, we are only supposed to stay together for 4 years, this is just enough time for the mother to teach her offspring how to survive. At this time the father can then stop hunting for the family and find a new mate
2006-10-25 11:08:47 · answer #7 · answered by noggintrude 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well i recommend you to read the book of Frederic begetter - L'Amour dure trois ans ( love last three years).......but i think you should talk with him maybe u two have an intimacy problem and if this is not the issue maybe you should spend a little time off each other. if u move together with smone it should improve the relation not pull it down. and about you being tired...........come on put sm nice lingerie and for sure both of you will be "fresh" and new for the night that comes...... good luck
2006-10-25 11:18:52 · answer #8 · answered by black_cat_heart 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It could be either, my advise on how you can tell is you both need a little time apart maybe a weekend a way from each other and then when you come back if it gets hot and steamy again then it was a faze, if it is still the same then I would suspect cheating.
2006-10-25 11:08:04 · answer #9 · answered by KEL971 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its normal. Im going on 4 years and we have a great sex life. I think after awhile you need to work at it a little more. Dont listen to the people saying he's cheating on your they are just stupid and trying to get you upset. We all get to this part don't worry. If I were you...I'd go buy a sexy outfit(try a sexy school girl outfit) they have them at spencers now for holloween. Just walk in the room like that it will knock his socks off!!
2006-10-25 11:55:55 · answer #10 · answered by AnnaG 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋