Married Man?

Question

I have been seeing a married man for over a year who says that it is only the children who are preventing him from leaving his wife. She has rung me and told me her husband is in love with me but he is still there and they are living together. They have had numerous conversations about splitting up and have agreed who has what financially and what would happen to the kids but then they just carry on as normal like nothing has happened and the conversation never took place. It is not just a sexual thing and whenever I am with him all he does is stroke my hair kisses me on the forehead and tells me he loves me. Do I give him an ultimatum or just move on and forget about him?

Answer 1

This man is never going to leave his wife..move on.

Answer 2

My best friend is in the same situation. She has been waiting two and a half years for the man to leave his wife and there's always some reason that it's not going to happen this week. He and his wife have supposedly had those same conversations. He has been to 5 (yeah, right) different attorneys to get paperwork drawn up and still doesn't have any. If he hasn't left yet, he probably won't. Apparently what he has at home is worth staying there for or at least not as bad as he says. You said that your guy's wife knows about you so that may make a difference. My friend's wife-in-law (what I call her) doesn't know about her. She has been told, but he always talks his way out. Either way, do you really what to be with someone who would cheat on his wife? The way you get them is the way you lose them. Find a single man who puts you first.

Answer 3

You're going to get bashed badly for your question, I hope you're prepared for that. Tons of people are going to tell you to stay away from the married man. But really, all you can do is what you think is best for you. I'm sure it's probably hurting you that he's still with his wife. You need to decide if it's worth the pain to stay with him, if it's not you need to back away. I think giving him an ultimatum is not the right thing to do, if he does leave he could end up resenting you down the road or throw it in your face during fights ("I left my family for you!"). If he decides to stay, that will hurt you as well. You and you alone are the one that can decide what you can and are willing to take. If you want something real with this man that isn't tainted, the ultimatum will wreck that. Perhaps just telling him how hard it is on you and tell him that you think you need to take a step back until after he's divorced. Always be honest with him about your feelings, but do it in non-confrontational way. Good luck, you're in a very difficult situation that you could really get hurt in.

Answer 4

Sorry, but unfortunately I agree with everyone else. He's not going to leave his wife and you've put yourself in a situation of deception even messing with someone who is married. Trust is an important element of any relationship. Having said that, think about if you were married to him and you two had difficulties, what would be the first thing you'd start thinking . . that's he's messing around. . How would you feel if he was telling another woman he loves her. . . marriage isn't something you do when you feel like it, or when everything is good. Like life, it has it's peaks and valleys. You want someone who will be down in the trenches with you when things are rough, and on cloud nine when things are great. . Remember this, if he'd do it to her, he'd do it to you. - I could never respect a man that cheats on his wife.

Answer 5

Gee how many women get suckered into those lines??
Has he left his wife?? NO and were you there when these conversations about him and his wife splitting up were talked about???? NO
Lets face it dear, If he is cheating on his wife, who's to say if you both were together it wouldn't happen to you in the end too??
Once a cheat, always a cheat.
Get yourself you're own man, and leave the Married Guy and his family alone.
By the way, who are you fooling?? Not a sexual thing,, he hasn't left his wife for you so what is it then????

Answer 6

When a woman starts a relationship with a married man, she is a loser from the beginning. He is a cheater but he is not going to leave his wife. Do you really want someone who has just proved he will cheat on his mate??? Don't give him an ultimatum but DO tell him you will never see him again because you've just SEEN THE LIGHT!! And then don't ever see him again!! You may never forget him but move on and give yourself time to regain your self pride. Then , remembering what NOT TO DO, find someone who is free to love you and build a life with you!

Answer 7

I am a married man of 14yrs and as long as you will put up with it he will continue to take advantage , cut the cord and come back in a year , because there is a ton of emotional baggage that he must unpack on his own . when your emotions are going all over from 1 lady to the next a man can only process so much before he will just react . dont be that next lady in his life because it just wont work..and the kids are at the top of the list
just 1 mans advice

Answer 8

First of all , you had no business to mess around with him to Begin with ,wither they are having problems or not , you coming into the picture just made thing worse ..that is some one Else's husband .. I hope that some day some one will brake up your marriage like you have done . I am a very strong believer in trying to do every thing to stay in the relationship .. and when people like you have the nerve to put your nose in there were it does not belong .. I have never had this happen to me , but I have seen it happen to a couple of people I know and it is pretty shity .. you are a home wrecker .. think about what you have done to his children the next time you are in bed with him .. how does that make you feel .. ???????

Answer 9

Even if I told you to go you will stay. The reason for that is you are in love with a married man who cares about you deeply but still loves his wife and kids. His heart is with his family. His mind is with you.
I apologize for giving it to you like that but you did not give me much to go by but that. Until he moves out, get a divorce, and be with you I can say that he is in love with you enough to want to marry you and not do you the same

Answer 10

You need to break it off with this guy and let him know WHEN and IF he leaves his wife he can call you. He is getting the best of both worlds right now. Does he think that his children are better off finding out that their father is a cheater? I understand that it is hard going through a divorce, but he should have considered that before all of this. If he truly loves you he would be with you. You are selling yourself short, and will probably end up getting hurt!

Answer 11

You sound like a nice girl. I think I would move on kiddo. I mean come on if he was really inlove with you he would of divorced his wife no matter what. kids or not.. It sounds like he is just using you to fill a void in his life, to make him feel good about himself, men do that stuff. First off, remember if he cheated on her with you, do you honestly think he will be true blue to U..:( I don't think he would or any married man for that reason. Please try and move on, its going to hurt U, but I would rather do that than him drop a bomb on ya later and say it kid it was fun but me and my wife are going to work it out.. Where does that leave you?? Think about it.. It will hurt you worse in the long run.. I feel for U, please consider the fact noone not even U wants to be labled a home wrecker.. Peace!