my hubby is about to go on his first deployment, i know the dreading military wife crap of "stay busy", but i'm nervous that i might shut down, anytime my hubby has been gone for more then a week i end up staying in jammy's staying up all night cus i can't sleep, and sleeping until my son comes home from school. but those were just a few weeks, what do i do about an long term deployment? I don't really wanna go see anyone, but could this be a form of depression, even tho i don't feel depressed? i only stay up because i feel scared being alone, which results in sleepiness the next day, and the jammy thang well why dress up when he's gone...right?
2006-10-25 03:31:41 · 9 answers · asked by Becca 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
speaking from experience...deployments suck..and im not going to lie. my husband still has a month left or so, and he left when our daughter was just four days old. it sucked for a long time. but you learn to communicate better, and you learn whats really important. socks on the floor and the toothbrush on the sink don't really matter once they are gone. you'll treasure those four min phone calls every five days, and you'll print off those emails and carry them around with you...but eventualy you'll get into the swing of things with the mindeset "lets just get this overwith"... you can also tag along with your FRG if they are even willing to help. if he is in the army -- you can go to www.armyfrg.org -- and sign up there. if not, im sure you'll be able to find the support groups through his individual service. and .. if you need anyting --even ifs its encoragement, or someone to vent about how crappy the situation is... you can always contact me. No one around me really understood waht i was going through -- but it was nice once i hooked up with other military spouses and we all kinda leaned on each other........ good luck -- its going to suck -- but its going to be ok. you'll be fine..and if you are feeling the urge to seek medication -- please don't hesitate... there are a lot of us that wish we had. and speaking from a personal experience of depression -- the medicine will help...and so will the therapy.
2006-10-25 03:38:03 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am 33 days into my husband's first deployment. I have lost 17 lbs and I still only sleep about 4-5 hours a night. But, believe it or not things are getting better. I can eat most days and I don't throw up everything I eat. I was only sleeping 1-2 hours a night and those were broken up. I didn't think that I could go on when my husband left. I know that sounds stupid, but he is my husband and my best friend. I, too, have a young son. I go to the school and eat lunch with him some days and we bake cookies and brownies to send to my husband. We take turns naming all of the reasons that Daddy needs to come home safe. I never realized how many things I depended on him for, so deployment can be a good thing if it makes you appreciate him more. Anyway, I know where you're coming from. Take a few weeks to wallow, then get a routine. I have my housework done by 0900. I go shopping and take my time because I don't have to be home to fix lunch. My son and I go on "dates"---out to eat or see a movie. This helps both of us. It will get better, I promise.
2006-10-25 03:55:46 · answer #2 · answered by sleepless in NC 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get in touch with the other military wives, especially the ones who's husbands work with yours. You'll be amazed at how much comfort you'll receive from these women, especially the ones who have a little experience under their belts. You have a son to worry about as well so you need to be strong for him. And yes, staying busy helps. Maybe you can volunteer at your son's school to help keep you busy and be near someone you love.
Don't make the mistake of thinking that you can deal with a long term deployment on your own. I grew up a Navy brat and thought that I would be fine since I grew up with separation as part of my life. WRONG! I married a SEAL who's gone a lot. I rarely know where he is or how long he'll be gone. The other wives have been a God send!
Good luck!
2006-10-25 03:44:27 · answer #3 · answered by cgspitfire 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Being a military wife is the hardest thing you will ever do!
Please just try to keep your head up and stay strong. That is what he needs from you.
He is probably more worried about you than you will ever know. And he is thinking about you all the time.
Just remember what it is that attracted you to him in the first place. I know for me it was that I know he was an honorable, nice man.
He is gone right now...Not sure where he is deployed to but........Try to be thankful he loves you enough to risk his life everyday so you can live over here, in a warm, safe place, you can go out during the day and not worry about being shot at, you can get on the Internet and play around, you have the wonderful freedom to do and become anything you want because he thinks it is worth his life to give it to you.
It will not last forever and he is thinking about you every day I can assure you that....Stay strong girl....He would not want you any other way!
2006-10-25 03:46:50 · answer #4 · answered by Littlebit 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Join a gym. Work out, eat right and look really hot when he gets back. Get a hobby, hiking, rock climbing, anything to keep you busy. What you are describing is not healthy. You need to get some friends, maybe with kids, so you can have someone to hang out with. Take a salsa dancing class. Just try new things that you have always wanted to do. Good Luck
2006-10-25 03:36:17 · answer #5 · answered by Lotus 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Having your husband deployed can be a heart wrenching experience and naturally you will feel depressed. My daughter's boyfriend is awaiting deployment to Iraq and she is the same way everytime he even talks about the military. If you need a friend to talk with please feel free to Email me and vent. We all need to do that sometimes and I would be glad to have a new friend. You need to be strong for your son.
2006-10-25 03:37:22 · answer #6 · answered by goodbye 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with "greeneyes" Becca....I am a personal trainer. Let me tell you, working out will ease any depression you might be feeling, your spirits will be lifted from the "feel good" endorphins that are released from working out, and you will look great.
Join a gym, or start running or doing something active that you like to do.
Thank you to your husband for his service to our country.
All the best to you two!!!
2006-10-25 03:49:16 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need help it isnt healthy to depend on someone that heavily for your happiness.I would join a gym or find some friends.Get help go to school be independent.
2006-10-25 03:44:57 · answer #8 · answered by plumcouch30 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wrong!
Don't even be getting fat while he's gone either.
2006-10-25 03:37:00 · answer #9 · answered by Kevin N 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋