If you love someone more than life itself can you forgive them for cheating on you.And how to begin the relationship from there to gain the trust back.
2006-10-25 03:24:47 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Sweet person, I don't claim to know all the answers, regarding love. However, I do believe one thing for certain, if a man or a woman cheats once, they will cheat again. It's in there blood, they are called players. These people have no moral values. Now I do believe in order for you to feel at rest with the whole thing of his cheating, that you need to forgive him in your heart, so this can free you up to move on and love again. You do not have to verbally say "I forgive you" to him. Just know inside of yourself you have, and this will keep you feeling healthy. NOW! next, from one woman to another; You do need to move on, he's no good, he's sorry. Actually if you continue to stay with him, you are sitting yourself up for a lifetime of heartache, and then when the babies start coming that makes it even harder on you. I know that's just a term of expression to say you love someone more than life, but the way I see it is if you have that much love in you for this guy, then you have enough love in you to love someone else. I believe that once something like this happens in a relationship, you never love that person quite the same again, and how could you even begin to trust him again....... You see you are to good for him, this man is not worthy of you. There are some really good guys out there, and I promise you that a nice person will come along that respects you, and will respect the love you have for one another. Now please don't get down on yourself, because he's the one that crossed that line, not you.
Hugs
Texas girl
2006-10-25 04:28:20 · answer #1 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can do what you want....I'd make a suggestion that you find out EXACTLY why the other party cheated. What was the excuse they gave you? Was the excuse lame and stupid or did it have some truth to it. Go from there. Personally, I would have an EXTREMELY hard time forgiving a cheater and probably never would unless I realized that in some way contributed to the cheater feeling cut off or abandoned emotionally.
2006-10-25 03:30:13 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Alright.
When I was younger and I had first been jilted I swore it would never happen again. A guy showed any signs of straying and I was gone. But then I met my husband to be two years ago. We were young and he was inexperienced with long term relationships and he cheated on me numerous times, all the while I broke it off and then took him back when he was done two days later, or he broke it off for a few days and then ran back to me crying and begging my forgiveness asking me to take him back, for he had been a fool.
The first time I swore it would be the last. The second time, the same. The third time I was so depressed I couldn't even begin to tell him how hurt I was and I was helpless to stop him. The forth time I broke it off before it had happened, and he was speechless. He had been taking advantage of the fact that I loved him so much and he began to realize it when I started to go out again, and see other people, live my life again. Treat him a little less like I used to and more like he deserved.
This seemed to set off one of those lightbulbs in his head. I had stuck by him through so many hardships in his life, and he had had alot of things go on during our relationship. I had been good to him, and I actually loved him. He began to realize he missed me more then he thought he should. That he had been wrong to hurt me, and he asked for me back. But I told him when he had grown up he could talk to me again, and time went by.
I missed him very much, for we really did have a good connection, and he was the person I considered to be my best friend.
Finally the day came when he had become a changed man. And I could see it it in his, hear it in his voice, and feel it in my heart, so we're together again.
Yes it's hard. We have had a difficult time as I began to develop trust in him again, and sometimes in the moment he gets frusterated, but he then remembers everything that went on and how he had put himself in this position so there was nobody to blame but himself, so he took it seriously and worked really hard.
Now we're happier then ever and engaged to be married.
It was a long, hard road, and we both had to look at ourselves really hard to understand it all. What made him treat me that way, and what made me allow him to do so? But it was more then worth it in the end.
2006-10-25 03:35:45 · answer #3 · answered by lovely 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I forgave a cheater once who I was in a long-term relationship with. Unfortunately, the cheating continued off and on for years. I ended that relationship and am now in a very healthy, loving one to a committed respectful man. Sorry but you are too good to be cheated on. You deserve better than this. I wish you well.
2006-10-25 03:30:21 · answer #4 · answered by mychemicalromancelover 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I always say I am able to forgive but I can never forget the fact that you have done what you did. Know the question is always in the back of your head will it happen again and also to rebuild trust in you
2006-10-25 03:30:43 · answer #5 · answered by kim12074 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you can; as long as you understand that if you forgive them and carry on a relationship; you have basically guaranteed yourself a horrible life for the future... forgive them and set them free... If they did not respect you enough the first time... they won't do it ever!
2006-10-25 03:31:29 · answer #6 · answered by ##spyker## 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
to forgive someone who has cheated on you, you must realize and understand whether your love for that person is sufficient to overshadow the problems in ur partner. also whether the cheating implies that it was jus a miunderstanding or mistake on his part or was it purposeful. if it was purposeful then that person doesnt care for u and a one sided love can never survive. but if it was a mistake then u can always talk it out and make ur love work.
2006-10-25 03:31:10 · answer #7 · answered by kool.kshitiz 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, I don't think it's a good idea b/c once the trust is gone it had to get it back and there will always be doubt in the back of your mind!
2006-10-25 03:28:24 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, I kinda question the "more than life itself" item. Are you really going to die if you tell them that it is okay that they cheated on you and that that person is now welcom back? Of course, that person might bring you back an STD...now there's a present you couldn't refuse.
2006-10-25 03:27:34 · answer #9 · answered by IGH3Rat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust is gone and will be difficult to regain, scar is there. So...whats the point of forgiving?
2006-10-25 03:29:18 · answer #10 · answered by Truesurvival 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋